| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
What does being bi mean to YOU? |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| Labels for sexuality are constructed by society to communicate and make things simpler (theoretically) but don't really reflect reality. I think the important question for you is what it means to you to be bi or straight. Being bisexual does *not* necessarily mean that you have to have someone of each sex, or that you even have to ever do anything with a woman, just as many heterosexuals choose to be celibate or save sexual activity for marriage. I am bisexual and have been with the (male) love of my life for a few years, and we plan to get married. I choose to have the deeper commitment of being with one person for life and I believe the rewards of loyalty outweigh any potential benefits of more varied sexual opportunities. |
| Posted: | 2/1/2008 |
| By: |
|
Amy M,
Philadelphia, PA, United States
, 42
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, student
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | cef9ffc3-169b-4b0b-8cd5-f21ace6f4cfb |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
You could be bi-curious, but maybe not... |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I personally think that it is OK to find another woman attractive and it in no way makes you bi. Trying something or feeling something is different than living something. If you begin have relationships with women and men consistently, then that would make you bi. Having an urge or feeling is natural. Who knows, you may act on your feelings and find that it wasn't what you thought at all. One encounter with a woman would not make you a life long lesbian. Don't get caught up into labels and most importantly, don't let something like attraction and basic human emotions freak you out. As far as telling your friend, I think you should open up. I had a similar experience and it opened my life up a lot. |
| Posted: | 4/24/2007 |
| By: |
|
Righteous Query ,
Los Angeles, CA, United States
, 30
, Female
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 45e9f4e2-80ac-4041-8aa7-d8fab8eaa019 |
| Responses: | 1 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
No - but I get off thinking of girls, too |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I am the exact same way and I've asked a couple people what they thought because I was weirded out myself. I think it is normal to think someone of the same sex is attractive. I don't know if most people think about doing sexual things, i do, but there's nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex. I don't think youre bi until you act on it and have a lesbian relationship. I'm kind of having a time with it because I'm in a serious relationship with a guy I love dearly, but for the last like 6 months, I haven't been able to get off in bed unless I thought about another girl? What do you think of that? |
| Posted: | 4/24/2007 |
| By: |
|
Tiffany ,
Detroit, MI, United States
, 20
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Student
, Technical School
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 2bc77218-9736-45ea-a5ea-6780f28afa3d |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
I have a long-term boyfriend and girlfriend... |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
Welcome to my world. I am attracted to both men and women and have been since a few months before my eleventh birthday. Based on your description I would say you were born bisexual.
My suggestion is move carefully but go ahead and enjoy it. I made myself miserable for years trying to pretend I could choose one sexual orientation or the other. If you are truly bi, you will always find yourself wanting someone of each sex. For me the only solution was to enter a long-term relationship that includes one man and one woman. It is not always easy but we make it work. We have been together over a decade and still counting. |
| Posted: | 8/30/2006 |
| By: |
|
Keith ,
Dallas, TX, United States
, Male
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | b871d104-4675-46e6-8910-3d81907ad643 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Sexuality is on a sliding scale |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I've had feelings for girls for as long as I can remember, though until the past few years, I was very much in denial. I've found that sexuality tends to occur more on a sliding scale than the very black and white categories of gay, bi, or straight. Even though I identify as being bi, I do have a stronger attraction to girls. But I also have a stronger attraction to people with dark hair and dark eyes - it doesn't mean I don't give the blonde, blue eyed people a chance. |
| Posted: | 7/23/2006 |
| By: |
|
Laura ,
Grand Rapids, MI, United States
, 20
, Female
, Methodist
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Student
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 45c02c48-fb56-43d6-a3b7-8fb1ea415d22 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
If you want sex with a woman, then... |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| Do you want to have sex with a woman? If you do then it will happen sooner or later. |
| Posted: | 7/9/2006 |
| By: |
|
Rocky H,
Berkley, MI, United States
, 55
, Male
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, wound car tec
, Technical School
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 5196dbdd-5507-4ca7-820b-036635745328 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
When you kiss a woman, you'll know if you're bi |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I think people's sexuality in general is so broad that at different times in your life you can feel a spark from different people or things. I don't consider myself bisexual, but that doesn't mean that a good-looking guy doesn't get my attention now and then. But you'll know if you ever end up making out with a girl. For me, I never felt true sparks fly until I was kissing women. That was far more natural to me than any guy I ever kissed. Don't worry so much about labeling 'am I this or that?' and everything will fall into place just how it's supposed to be for you. |
| Posted: | 7/2/2006 |
| By: |
|
Chris ,
Madisonville, KY, United States
, 34
, Female
, Agnostic
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 758e1aee-dd69-4c48-a835-12d23eebedc1 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi, huh? |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I don't think you are bi. I have been turned on by girls before, friends or movie stars. And I have also had fantasies about other women. (But then I get totally grossed out thinking about...female parts). I think it's more of your mind and body becoming more sexual. (You are in that stage of life). Not that there is anything wrong with being bi. One of my childhood friends turned out to be bi and I was always OK with that. Don't let if freak you out. But if you do decide that the urge is too strong, explore it? |
| Posted: | 4/28/2006 |
| By: |
|
Christine ,
Fargo, ND, United States
, 19
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 69dddc36-9156-4700-9c57-130bac0e7ff4 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Hey don't worry about being bi |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| It's a possiblity that you're bi. But if i were you i wouldn't really worry about it. I'd take some time to yourself before you tell your friend but if you feel like you need to discuss it with someone your friend might be a good place to start. |
| Posted: | 4/18/2006 |
| By: |
|
Dani R. ,
na, ME, United States
, 17
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 816ca94a-fb0a-4206-9fd6-2f6def0be7a7 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bisexuality? Take time to sort it out |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I see sexuality as a 'spectrum.' Almost everyone is a little bi, whether they act on it or not, so in that sense you are. Does this mean you have to identify yourself as bisexual because you were turned on by a couple women? No. You're what, 16? You're still discovering yourself, so don't worry about it. If you are predominantly attracted to men, I don't think there is any problem with you considering yourself straight or mostly-straight. Also, it has been shown that a lot of women can be sexually turned on by the sight of -anybody- having sex, whether they are all men, all women, or a mix. It's the act that turns them on, not the people. |
| Posted: | 2/26/2006 |
| By: |
|
Jack ,
Oshkosh, WI, United States
, 21
, Male
, White/Caucasian
, Gay
, Camp Counselor
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 38feaada-e410-48fc-adad-a867e831ce12 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
bi? Maybe. |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| Sexuality is fluid. Our orientations and turn-ons can vary over time, and it is not necessarily indicative that we are bi, gay, or straight. Many people question their sexuality or feel that they are in between categories. I suggest that you experiment safely and keep an open and honest mind, you could find a lot of sexual and emotional pleasure in your newfound ventures. |
| Posted: | 12/13/2005 |
| By: |
|
Ben ,
Chapel Hill, NC, United States
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 79bdb139-f848-45c6-94a0-f621e7bca8b0 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
it happened more than once, you may be bi |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| Since it has happened more then one time, I would say so. There is nothing wrong with that, though. It is up to you about your friend. If you're comfortable with it then do it. If you are not then don't. |
| Posted: | 11/30/2005 |
| By: |
|
Jamie ,
n/a, NY, United States
, 18
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, student
, Technical School
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | bf6c5938-9fbb-4337-8a19-5b934c1fa4eb |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bisexual? |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
To suggest you might be bisexual is to assume that you are also attracted to young men. If you are indeed attracted to both genders, please do not think there is anything wrong with you.
If it turns out that you are only attracted to your own gender and are homosexual, then that is OK, too. The world has become more accepting of the openness of homosexuality and you should never feel ashamed of being different than those in your circle or your family. As long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself (physically, that is), then learn to feel comfortable with your natural feelings
|
| Posted: | 11/14/2005 |
| By: |
|
Rachel ,
Sydney, NA, Australia
, 48
, Female
, Buddhist
, Black/African American
, 2 Years of College
|
|
| Mesg ID: | c7bbfa5f-2f7a-4ab1-94c8-93f455c79615 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi? No |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| You're 16, everything turns you on. Are you turned on by imagining being with a girl? No. Then you're not bisexual. |
| Posted: | 11/3/2005 |
| By: |
|
Aimee ,
Cape Town, NA, South Africa
, 28
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, IT
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | ea09f672-77ad-4e39-8998-f71b36f21048 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi? yes |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
Turned on by girls and lesbian fantasies? Yep, I'd say you're bi. But there's nothing wrong with that.
I hope by now you've told your friend, because having a supportive friend will make a big difference. |
| Posted: | 11/1/2005 |
| By: |
|
Amy ,
na, LA, United States
, 23
, Female
, Secular Humanist
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Student
, 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | c0c0fdcd-2a42-409b-8d53-3cc8cc4bb07e |
| Responses: | 2 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Well, that depends... |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| Only you can really say for sure, because it's not like there's a test for this sort of thing and only you know how you feel. It's perfectly normal for straight people to notice when people of the same gender are good-looking, and to even feel attracted to them. Though I know for sure that I am straight, I've had the occasional dream or thought another girl was sexy. It can be hard to tell the difference, because with both there's a feeling of attraction and it can be hard to figure out why exactly you are attracted. You could be attracted because you're bisexual, or you could be attracted because you're jealous and want to be them. |
| Posted: | 10/20/2005 |
| By: |
|
Avalikia ,
Provo, UT, United States
, 22
, Female
, Mormon
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class, Asperger's Syndrome
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 66b936e1-e506-4804-839d-869f3fe983ad |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi Questioning |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
There's no harm in waiting before you tell people. I think that for a lot of people who go through what you're going through, it's easiest to talk about the possibility of not being straight when YOU feel comfortable with it yourself...unless you think talking to your friend will help you get more comfortable with the idea of maybe being bisexual.
It can be weird and scary to contemplate the possibility of being bisexual for the first time, because bisexuality can be a little harder to figure out than being gay or lesbian, and a little more confusing in terms of what it means.
I think the most important thing for you is to get yourself used to the idea so that it's not quite as scary a thought any more--once you've given yourself the time to become comfortable with yourself and your questioning, the answer as to whether or not you're bi or not should become much easier to figure out. You are doing all the right things to get yourself more comfortable--asking questions, trying to figure things out, addressing the issue and your feelings about it. |
| Posted: | 10/19/2005 |
| By: |
|
Amy ,
College Park, MD, United States
, 20
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Nanny, College Student
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 998f285d-9a36-4d5f-a25c-3c76cf118fd0 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi sexual vs. bi curious |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I believe that right now you are bicurious...I don't think you are bisexual until you have tried it and you like it. On the other hand, your best friend seems to be open-minded...I would tell her and most likely she will be the one to introduce you to it..That is mostly how people get started, anyway. |
| Posted: | 10/15/2005 |
| By: |
|
Freda ,
Indianola, MS, United States
, 25
, Female
, Black/African American
, Bisexual
, Clerk
, High School Diploma
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 801c4800-d40d-43a8-970b-486071a39edd |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
You could be bi. Big deal |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| It's been said that everyone has a little bit of bi in them. Sometimes you'll find girls attractive. That doesn't make you bi. It might just be a phase. I had that phase, too. Even if you are, it's not a bad thing. |
| Posted: | 10/9/2005 |
| By: |
|
Angel M. ,
Des Moines, IA, United Kingdom
, 17
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, high school student
, Less than High School Diploma
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | f1ea06de-22b2-4756-a956-556cd9d10e3d |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Why label yourself? |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I don't think a person should feel obligated to 'title' themselves bi, gay, straight or lesbian just because of what turns them on. Why put a label on yourself based upon who you are attracted to? Aren't you still the same person inside that you have always been? what difference does it make who turns you on? Talking with your friend about this might make you feel better, but in the long run, you are the one who has to decide whether or not to label yourself bisexual. |
| Posted: | 10/9/2005 |
| By: |
|
Gretchen ,
Joplin, MO, United States
, 24
, Female
, Pagan
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Caregiver
, High School Diploma
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 8941f273-3d5f-4c55-a8a6-b2147b08efa9 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Am I bi? |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| I don't think that means you are bisexual. I think that it means you are in a very experimental stage and different things are going to happen over your life. I think that it is perfectly healthy to have wants and desires. This does not mean you are bi. It is healthy to have these feelings, I think it means you are normal. Everyone has gone through this! Ask your friend some hypothetical questions and see if she bites. Maybe she is just as shy about the topic as you are and you might learn more about the both of you. |
| Posted: | 10/5/2005 |
| By: |
|
Natasha B. ,
Marion, AR, United States
, 25
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, library clerk
, High School Diploma
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 96d6936f-1a11-4bad-acef-ff6cff9451a5 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Possibly |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
First, sexual orientation is always a part of someone, but certainly not all of them. for some it's a big part of their lives, and for others, it can be pretty unimportant. So don't freak if you think you're bi- being bisexual means nothing more than liking both guys and girls.
It sounds like you could be bisexual, but don't rush to label yourself. Just give it time, and don't worry about it. I wouldn't tell your friend that you are bi until you are sure that you are, but if you feel like telling her, then tell her you MIGHT be bi.
Take your time, you'll know. |
| Posted: | 10/2/2005 |
| By: |
|
Emily ,
Seattle, WA, United States
, 16
, Female
, Atheist
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Student
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 0838c375-d2f2-4c22-ba1f-99624c4a398d |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
reply |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
I would say wait, because sometimes when you have friends who are gay or bi it can encourage these feelings, however if you are having these feelings you owe it to yourself to explore them.
find a friend you trust, just be careful, women can hurt worse than men sometimes. Make sure of what you want before you tell your best friend, If either of you have feelings for one another. |
| Posted: | 9/24/2005 |
| By: |
|
Mickey ,
Garfield, AR, United States
, 24
, Female
, American Indian
, Technical School
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 78901810-0c9f-4e7d-8675-c4e4e54f98e0 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
I could not tell you |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
Sexual orientation is a very personal concept, and it is not up to any of us out here to tell you that you are or are not a certain way. If you feel emotionally, physically, sexually attracted to this woman after having previously had only crushes on guys, then maybe you are bi. Maybe you are straight and happen to be attracted to the features of this one person. The way I see it, labels are not important and sexual orientation is on a spectrum, few people are solely gay or straight, but some mix of the two. Perhaps you find yourself somewhere without a label, and that is just fine. Love knows no boundaries, nor limits. You are a person, you are attracted to people who may or may not be male or female.
I would say, talk to your friend, tell them your feelings and thoughts, and don't feel the need to immediatly put a label on yourself. Talking has helped so many people work out the confusion. |
| Posted: | 9/19/2005 |
| By: |
|
Adrian ,
no place, CA, United States
, 17
, Agnostic
, living
|
|
| Mesg ID: | c0748c6f-6735-466e-9380-5b2eab8426f4 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi-petrified... |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| You're 16. At your age, if you're in the right mood, going through a carwash might turn you on. When the old hormones get to percolating, curiosity can lead to arousal, even if you didn't think you were 'that way'. It may be that you're very attracted to her 'really awesome personality' and your body is interpreting that through the haze of budding sexuality. The British have a word for this sort of thing: 'Pash,' to wit a same-sex crush among teenaged girls. It doesn't necessarily mean you're gay or bi. It could simply be that her self-confidence and charisma are appealing to you, and are traits you'd like to see in a partner. If you have a trusted adult you can discuss your confusion with, I would, but for Gods' sakes, don't talk about this with your peers, unless you fancy being branded a 'dyke.' |
| Posted: | 9/16/2005 |
| By: |
|
Ann ,
Kansas City, MO, United States
, 38
, Female
, Animist
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Administrative Assistant
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | c2697507-54e0-47cd-8741-41a4694c5bf2 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Gay, Bi, Straight... all just labels |
| Reply: |
read original | add to Watch List | reply
|
| In reality, it is totally normal for teens to have mixed feelings of sexuality.... It is not weird to discover your sexual prefernce at this age.... anyways... what I find weird is that you express no sexual feelings for other females... and even if you did... the problem with our society is that we LOVE labels... we only know Straight, Gay, and BI. but there are SO many level in between... for example.. finding girls sexually attractive, but not wanting to have a relationship. Just let yourself feel what you feel, it might just go away.. or you might be BI... And about telling your friend: maybe she can help you sort through your fellings in a non-pressuring manner. |
| Posted: | 9/15/2005 |
| By: |
|
Kevin ,
Los Angeles, CA, United States
, 17
, Male
, Atheist
, Hispanic/Latino (may be any race)
, Gay
, Student
, High School Diploma
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 47023ffe-cb3f-4b19-b0f0-53b398c969b2 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|