| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Ben Affleck hit a lesbian club once |
| Reply: |
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Yes, lesbians and bi-women do go to 'gentlemen clubs' as you call them - more often than one may think. This occurs much more in larger, more diverse communites.
As you can imagine, the prettier, more feminine lesbians are quite eagerly welcomed - whereas butch, manly women may raise some eyebrows.
And yes, there are clubs that cater to lesbians (you might remember Ben Affleck 'accidently' went to one last year in Canada) but they're rare and there are none in the U.S. that I am aware of.
The ratio of women in these clubs to men is very very small though. Lesbians (and most women) do not spend NEARLY the kind of money on adult entertainment that gay and straight men do. Most lesbians who visit these clubs, go once or twice a year (like straight girls might go to male strippers for a bachelorette), and not every Thursday for a night out with the gals. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Candy ,
Atlanta, GA, United States
, Female
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| Mesg ID: | 4861d5ea-6fe5-4594-b26c-25c34f714098 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Take a dancer home! |
| Reply: |
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| Pop culture icon Morrisey once said,'People are neither homosexual nor heterosexual. They are merely sexual.' Or maybe that was Madonna. Regardless, I have found that most of the women who work in strip clubs are younger and still searching for thier sexual identity. I notice you are 38. Possibly the culture in the '80s was not as free where you grew up as it is in these establishments, but many of these young girls are toying with the issue of sexual orientation. You don't need a lesbian bar. You need the cajones to ask one to your home, or at least out on a social get together outside her work. But, as Dan Savage once said, treat a young girl like a campground: make sure it's better off when you leave than when you found it. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Bruce J. ,
Shawnee, KS, United States
, 33
, Male
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| Mesg ID: | 726cfc91-630b-4378-9869-73bfab469606 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
My wife and I hit the straight strip bars |
| Reply: |
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| My wife and I go to strip bars pretty regularly. We just go to regular strip places, although we have a favorite (best college girls!). I guess we wouldn't go back to anywhere that seemed hostile, but that's never happened, strippers love us, and the men there usually just ignore us like they do the other guys. I have heard that obviously gay women are sometimes more welcome in strip clubs than straight-looking women, who are sometimes assumed to be hookers. Stripping is offensive to some women, but it isn't to me. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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A. ,
Alexandria, VA, United States
, 24
, Female
, Atheist
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 0c26f736-7531-49c0-99c1-d976c489161f |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip clubs with men are disgusting |
| Reply: |
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I think there are strip clubs for lesbians - personally I wouldn't go to one with men in it. That is disgusting to me.
I might go to one for lesbians.
|
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Dwanny ,
Springtown, TX, United States
, 51
, Female
, Pagan
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, nurse
, Technical School
, Middle class
|
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| Mesg ID: | 02a68d7d-7081-4bd8-a61b-67d988875734 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
lesbian strip joints |
| Reply: |
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| There are a few clubs (usually in larger metropolitan areas) that cater specifically to women. I have been to some of them, and even danced at one once, but I also enjoy going to the gentlemen's clubs. I don't think the idea of stripping is offensive to all lesbians/bisexual women at all; I definitely don't find it offensive. I think that if you like going out to strip clubs, more power to you, and enjoy! |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Olivia P. ,
Eugene, OR, United States
, 22
, Female
, Jewish
, American Indian
, Bisexual
, 2 Years of College
, Lower class, CFS/PTSD
|
|
| Mesg ID: | c1124726-f62a-4637-b87d-c2d50d49adbf |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars and Lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
| I am a lesbian and I think strip bars are fun. I'm not offended by the idea of women stripping for money...I think the women are incredibly brave! I think it must feel very powerful to have that much control over an audience. I think there are some 'lesbian' strip clubs, but certainly not here in the heartland. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Mindy ,
Junction City, KS, United States
, 27
, Female
, Atheist
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, full time student
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 35577d0f-4833-4a9a-a51e-33fafcd4b154 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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The answer to your question would be the same answer to 'Is the whole idea of stripping and dancing for money offensive to women in general'
Lesbians don't go by a list of beliefs and values that they all must follow. We are as unique and everyone else. I know a lot of lesbians who find it offensive, but I also know a lot who just find it plain old hot!
Every lesbian has their own set of beliefs and values, just like everyone else in this world! So to answer your question...everyone of us is different. Everyone has there own reasons for liking or disliking it! Were not all crazy feminists!
|
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Melissa ,
Calgary, na, Canada
, 25
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, administrative assistant
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | bd9d8677-e237-4f3f-abd2-45b7d3b75d6b |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars |
| Reply: |
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|
| I am not a lesbian. But I sure wish more woman were like you, especially my wife. You are married to a lucky man. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Mark ,
Atlanta, GA, United States
, Male
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | e1088c6e-8b7f-47a7-8ab5-b9f5c478ae97 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
strip bars for lesbians |
| Reply: |
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| I can only speak for myself. As a butch lesbian, I think women lovers stripping for me is very sexy. As for straight women strippers, who get off on stripping for men/money, I don't find that so sexy to be around. Women who are into strippers generally go to men's clubs because that's usually the only option. At the lesbian bar here in Portland, there's stripper night once a month or so, and those women really enjoy doing it for women, so it feels a lot more fun. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Marianne ,
Portland, OR, United States
, Female
, Lesbian
|
|
| Mesg ID: | a3c807b7-c437-4811-9df4-044e6084470c |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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There are definitely lesbians who find strip clubs offensive, they see it as objectifying and degrading to women. I don't know of any lesbians who go to strip clubs as a regular social activity, either.
I've been a few times and I found it entertaining, but not overly 'stimulating'. While we don't have any such clubs of our own that I know of, you may find it interesting that the women dancers seemed to REALLY enjoy our presence ... I don't know if that's because it was refreshing for them, because we were very enthusiastic, or if they were bisexual ... we got quite a bit of attention from them!
Thanks for the opportunity to relive the memories ... :)
|
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Mac ,
Chicago, IL, United States
, Female
, Lesbian
|
|
| Mesg ID: | e9ae6075-6cb2-4aab-a30b-462ce00f8231 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
strip clubs are fun for everyone! |
| Reply: |
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| I'm bisexual (leaning more toward women) and I love going to strip clubs. I've only been to the 'regular' ones, but I think there are some clubs where the dancers are all lesbian or bi (but both men and women can watch). I think some 'feminist lesbians' probably object to strip clubs, but I know a lot of bi/lez girls who like 'em. I also know straight girls (who have no sexual attraction to women) who like strip clubs. Conclusion: strip clubs are fun for everyone! |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Manda ,
Memphis, TN, United States
, 20
, Female
, Agnostic
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, student
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 5292fc8e-8c37-4cfb-bf86-5e13173dd7ac |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars and Lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
| Well, Annie this gets a little complicated... Yes, some lesbians go to straight men's strip clubs. In fact many strippers are lesbians or bisexual, althought you would probably never know it. There are also strip clubs for lesbians (mostly in larger cities) and sometimes the same strip bars you frequent will have special private events for lesbians-only. There are also plenty of lesbians who think the whole idea is demeaning, disgusting, etc. Like straight women, we come in all types. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Lynne ,
Arlington, VA, United States
, Female
|
|
| Mesg ID: | eaebd2ad-3cac-4600-a0d7-16b750db8d57 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
strip bars |
| Reply: |
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|
I am straight but on a few occassions of a night out drinking with my husband and another couple, we have gone to an upscale strip club. I have had the same experience as you, it is quite arousing to have a dance like that.
I would be curious to hear from other women... |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Lisa ,
New Orleans, LA, United States
, 42
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Over 4 Years of College
, Upper class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 4b898500-7c70-4954-921c-42b0c6b07ec9 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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| Yes bi and lesbians do go to strip bars. Which one depends on the girl. Some clubs (in the past for sure, present time may be better) would check because they thought the woman may be a prostitute trying to find some clients. Most boyztowns (section for LGBT community) have strip joints. It’s a little bit uncomfortable to be a woman around intoxicated men at a strip club and not be working there |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Dina M. ,
Chicago, IL, United States
, Female
, unsure of religion
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, poet
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 4c0e05a7-e924-4a98-878e-debf3a3ae846 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Bi and love stripclubs |
| Reply: |
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This really can't be applied to all lesbian or bisexual women, because it really depends on the personal feelings of the individual. I'm a bisexual woman who loves stripclubs, but I have many lesbian and bisexual friends who don't like them because of personal opinions on stripping.
There aren't any clubs specifically marketed to lesbians, but I know of many gay clubs that have run nights for women, and also of many burlesque troupes that are queer-oriented or do special shows depending on the audience. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Beth ,
Bernardsville, NJ, United States
, Female
, Bisexual
|
|
| Mesg ID: | b28aad36-5f34-4ee6-a600-0a285b6f65bb |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Some strip clubs don't allow unescorted women |
| Reply: |
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Some lesbians/bi women do come in, but not too many, at least not in the cities where I've worked. Some strip clubs don't allow unescorted (meaning: no man) women in. That's not because of the lesbian thing, what they don't want are prostitutes coming in soliciting the guys. It makes sense if you think about it.
There are not strip clubs specifically for women – they'd go broke, as women just do not spend money on sex workers like men do. There are some serious lesbian-feminists who might be offended, but not so many…
But sometimes in bigger cities with a good sized big gay/lesbian population, there will be special parties put on by/for lesbians, with strippers. I've danced at shows like that, it's fun. But it's unlikely you'd hear about them unless you were 'in the loop' of lesbian events – reading the gay papers, looking at flyer in gay bars, etc.
|
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Bi Dancer ,
Seattle, WA, United States
, Female
, Bisexual
, dancer
|
|
| Mesg ID: | a2a06953-e4cd-4666-be2e-eca347f611c2 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Straight woman enjoys strippers |
| Reply: |
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| I'm not a lesbian. I have had sexual encounters with women, and enjoyed them. I have gone to strip clubs and enjoyed that as well. But since I don't identify as lesbian or even bisexual, maybe my response doesn't count. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Beth R ,
Fort Wayne, IN, United States
, Female
, Straight
|
|
| Mesg ID: | b66f17d3-60d5-4f3c-99a9-a8a9f7f08b19 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Some cities have lesbian strip nights |
| Reply: |
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|
Sometimes lesbians and bisexual women go to strip clubs, sure. But the male-centered attitude can be annoying and distracting.
Every once in a while, especially in areas with large gay populations like San Francisco and New York City, a group of lesbian/bi women will put on a strip club night just for women. A lot of dancers/strippers are actually lesbian or bi themselves, and it can be fun for them to put on a show for women they would actually date. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Anne ,
Shelburne, MA, United States
, 29
, Female
, Episcopalian
, White/Caucasian
, Queer
, Web designer
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 1709b5a3-f283-4e5d-ab16-603a22a6b796 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
My bi wife and I go to strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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| My bi wife and I go to strip clubs once in a while. We find it interesting that we don't get approached (or didn't at first) for dances for her. haven't run into clubs especially for alternate sexual orientation, nor have i ever seen a group of women at a mens strip club. hhmmm, maybe we should open one? |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Andy ,
Seattle, WA, United States
, 36
, Male
, spiritual
, White/Caucasian
, in the lifestyle
, finance
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | cd8f6802-8808-40e1-b894-a1e582846cb4 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Everybody has their own opinion |
| Reply: |
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Basically, everyone has their own opinion. Sure some lesbians or bisexuals think it is offensive. Some think it is great. Some are the actual exotic dancers. I know a good number of women who go to 'gentleman' clubs and get lap dances. Usually, from what I've seen, all the men are turned on by it, so they don't object. The dancer is getting paid by a customer, so they don't object. Any other women in there that isn't an employee, is in there for the same reason as you, so they don't object. I've never seen, or heard of, a women being told 'no, they couldn't buy a lap dance'.
In larger cities I'm sure there are specific clubs for lesbians. Reason being, it is a marketable area with potential profit, so someone, somewhere must be trying to make money from it. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Aysha ,
Ammon, ID, United States
, 27
, Female
, student
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 16065413-12c2-45cf-b569-0e18d9863557 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
Well, when I lived in San Francisco and went into strip bars there were always some women there, never the majority, but some women. I'm not aware of there having been any lesbian strip clubs in San Franciso.
Getting somewhat off topic, when I moved to L.A. I was surprised to find out there were some strip bars that wouldn't let me in unless I had a guy with me. One place, where my roommate was working, wouldn't even let me in unless she came out to tell them to let me in. Other places don't care. I don't know what the deal is. A friend from Atlanta told me that in several places she knew of in the South that women wouldn't be allowed entrance if they didn't have a guy with them. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Katrina ,
Bevelry Hills, CA, United States
, 43
, Female
, Agnostic
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Computers
, Over 4 Years of College
, Upper middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 55201201-7d44-4b5c-a9cf-a0d0f5172412 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Creepy old men at strip bars, ah well |
| Reply: |
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| My girlfriend and I have gone to strip clubs in the past, and we find it enjoyable. Although it's a little creepy at times, we have fun. However, I do find myself a little concerned for the dancers....I would rather talk to them and find out who they are than throw dollars at them. They chose the profession, but they should not be responsible for all the crap that comes with it. I wish there were lesbian strip clubs. That would be an ideal environment. But, we have to settle for 'gentleman's clubs'. I find the old men creepy and scary. But that's just me :) |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Rebecca ,
Kansas City, KS, United States
, 26
, Female
, Catholic
, White/Caucasian
, Gay
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 01606d90-5bc8-47ff-84fb-91c91bf35393 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
I have been to gentleman's clubs with men before, but never on my own (the clubs were for gentlemen or couples only). I enjoyed it, but found it more fun than arousing. And I've known a number of lesbian/bisexual girls who have worked as dancers.
I don't know of any dedicated lesbian strip clubs (at least not in my area), but I do know of a gay bar that has a weekly show.
Yes, there are some gay women who are highly offended by the objectification of women for money, but I think it is more a feminist issue than a gay/straight issue.
|
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Kæreste ,
Jacksonville, FL, United States
, 22
, Female
, Unitarian
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, Construction
, 2 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | a4aff4d9-d101-4064-952b-c9b70ad1d399 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbian bars in Hawaii are really graphic |
| Reply: |
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| I'm not a lesbian but I have many gay and lesbian friends. I've gone with lesbian friends to 'gentlemen's clubs' and I have only noticed that they don't get as excited as when we go to a lesbian club during the strip show. And I don't know if the situation is the same everywhere. But at the few lesbian clubs there have been in Hawaii (that I've gone to), the shows can be really graphic and extreme. I'd like to know if it's like that everywhere, it was shocking for my taste and I considered myself open to things. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Ursula ,
Wahiawa, HI, United States
, 30
, Female
, Agnostic
, Part-Hawaiian
, Straight
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 9a5ee3c7-fe2a-4779-a425-cbd7439cd4fd |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars and Lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
| As a bisexual woman, I can say that I enjoy going to strip clubs. I have lesbian and bisexual friends who also do, and ones that do not (just as there are heterosexuals who enjoy strip clubs and those that do not). I generally go to a 'Gentleman's Club', since they are easily found, but I won't go to just any one since I find some of them sleazy and distasteful (such as in their decor, the way they treat their dancers, or the atmosphere they present). Rarely, you can find strip clubs tailored to entertaining a lesbian and bisexual audience, but they are few and far between. More often, a gay and lesbian nightclub might host a ladies' night and feature female dancers. The idea of stripping and dancing for money may be offensive to some lesbian or bisexual women, but not to all- it really depends on how they view sex and their own sexuality and whether in their views they find stripping acceptable. Interestingly enough, most of the dancers I have met are lesbian or bisexual. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Stacey A ,
Yucca Valley, CA, United States
, 32
, Female
, White/Caucasian
|
|
| Mesg ID: | fa1ff587-ef1f-4b09-b2a3-fea5023a3ab3 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars and Lesbians |
| Reply: |
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|
| Yes, lesbians and bisexual women go to strip clubs. Usually to 'gentleman's clubs' where women are welcome, which most are. I have not seen or heard of a strip club 'just for lesbians', there are some gay clubs which sometimes feature a special night as a strip club. It may be hard to believe but I have met many women who are strippers in the 'gentleman's clubs' who are actually lesbians! I am sure that there are some lesbians (as there are straight men) who are offended by the idea of stripping and dancing for money. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Sandie ,
Boston, MA, United States
, 41
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, Business Owner
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 19e85486-e4eb-4a01-9653-1a73041d99b8 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbian/Bi-sexual women, strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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|
Well, I'll respond first to your last question--
I think that, just as with straight women, there are lesbians and bisexual women who find stripping for money, etc., distasteful for a variety of personal and political reasons. There are also those who don't.
As a lesbian woman, I've gone to strip clubs, and gentlemen's clubs, though I've never seen a 'lesbian' strip club... there are pansexual clubs that feature a variety of dancers, usually in sexy gear, though not necessarily naked... this is a slightly different environment, though.
Interestingly,in Korea (where I was stationed with the United States Air Force) there are many clubs where girls dance in bikinis and work as 'escorts' for a fee. Military lesbians and bisexual women are a small but noticable percentage here, and often take up with these women. And lesbians and bisexual women enjoy a certain amount of popularity with the working-girls as well. I know several women who frequent their 'regular' clubs and are adored, not just by their gay or bi 'working' girlfriends, but by all the girls in the clubs.
I've talked to many of the young women that work in the clubs who are from the Philippines and Russia and have done similar work in other countries and say that it's the same everywhere they go. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
Sarah ,
Winchester, VA, United States
, 24
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, teacher
, 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
|
|
| Mesg ID: | 5616aab3-f10b-44ad-b394-b9df4c667d69 |
| Responses: | 0 |
|
| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Hired a stripper once - all the lesbians loved it |
| Reply: |
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|
| Well I'm a lesbian, I've been to a strip bar once and didn't much care for it. However I have friends who like to go on occasion and they really enjoy it. I did hire a stripper for a friend's 30th B-day party once and she loved it..as did all the lesbians at the party. To some people, stripping is offensive..it's not what I'd do for a living but I don't fault a woman who wants to. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
|
S.L. ,
Fresno, CA, United States
, 34
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | c5cef232-aa83-4dfc-8e98-9ec35f7153d6 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sensitive Matters |
| Subject: |
Anything goes... but strippers don't like it |
| Reply: |
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| My closest friend is a female stripper, and let me tell you, at least from what she's told me, they like it so much more when they are dancing for a woman. First of all, a lot of the women dancing are bisexual or lesbians. Secondly, few women are going to attempt to molest a stripper, unlike quite a few men. Why do you think there's always a bouncer there? Go for it, just remember, most of the time, no matter how much the stripper seems like she's enjoying what she's doing, she's not. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Jonathan ,
Boston, MA, United States
, 32
, Male
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Banking
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | ce3dcf70-78bf-410e-bfe4-bf920bd2871c |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
I enjoy going with hubby |
| Reply: |
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Just wanted to tell you that I too enjoy going with my husband. While I did experiment with women when I was younger, I would definitely say that my preference is being married to a man. However, I still appreciate the beauty in the female form. We have gone to 'gentlemen's' clubs and even 'full contact' clubs in Florida. I have found that it is as sexually exciting for him as it is for me to see another women who finds my husband as attractive as I find him, even if it is only in the fantasy that we are paying her for.
Regarding the lesbian question, while I am not gay my older sister is. Not only does she frequent the bars with her girlfriend, she has worked as a stripper for more than 8 years.
Just thought I would post to let you know you are definitely not alone in this bit of voyueristic foreplay. We often see other couples in the bar who are enjoying the same activities.
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| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Rebecca ,
Washington, IL, United States
, Female
, Agnostic
, Hispanic/Latino (may be any race)
, Straight
, Designer
, 2 Years of College
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| Mesg ID: | d3a1601f-7fa9-46d5-b812-92cc85af10ce |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
bi or lesbian strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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| I've been to a straight strip club with my guy friends before. I am a bi-sexual female, but I don't know of any bi or lesbian only strip clubs. The men in the club seemed uncomfortable with me being there, and the girls didn't really treat me with the same bump-and-grind that the male patrons received. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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J.D. ,
Springville, CA, United States
, 27
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, student
, 2 Years of College
, Lower class
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| Mesg ID: | ceed4465-6acd-4cd5-9c72-328fe1daeb3b |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbians and strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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| I am not lesbian or bi, but I am close friends with many, and I know that for the most part lesbians are not offended by stripping or dancing for money. Many of my friends do it for a living! The girls I know usually go to one club, where everyone is invited, gay or straight, male or female. A lot of the 'Gentlemen's Clubs' around here are just that, no females other than dancers allowed. But the ones with open doors are often visited. As far as strip clubs specifically for lesbians, there are none around here, but that doesn't mean there aren't any in the more populated areas of the US. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Jessica G. ,
Greenville, SC, United States
, 24
, Female
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, High School Diploma
, Lower middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 296efdd2-81fd-4507-b871-5ace415404a1 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip bars and lesbians |
| Reply: |
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| I am a lesbian and have been to a strip club maybe twice with a group of friends. To me, it was just as much of a turn on, as it was a turn off. My lesbian friends have a variety of opinions on stripclubs. Some love them, some are deeply offended by them. I think that among the lesbian population, you'll find just as wide a variety of opinions on the subject as you will among straight women. I have also met a couple of women who strip for a living and they have commented that they do enjoy it when women come into the club - women are much more sensual, less aggressive and offensive, and a nice change of pace from the men. I don't know of any strip clubs that are specifically for women. Sometimes lesbian bars will hire a woman dancer to come into their bar for a 'show'. Those that are interested watch/participate; those that aren't shoot pool. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Jenny ,
Kansas City, MO, United States
, 29
, Female
, Atheist
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | fe1a0624-eec3-441c-a116-053ef7193181 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
They keep women out of strip bars here |
| Reply: |
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| In Birmingham, females are not allowed to enter a gents club without a male escort; this keeps the levels of prostititutes to a mininmum, I guess. I am niether bi or a lesbian but I do enjoy watching a dancer who is good at her craft. For me, it is more of a 'sensual' thing than a 'sexual' thing. It is like wathcing a good actor in a movie or in a good play. Who of us still remembers the chick in 'Dusk till Dawn' dancing with the snake? I think as long as it goesn't bother ya'll and the dancers don't mind, enjoy! |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Jen T ,
Birmingham, AL, United States
, 30
, Female
, Wiccan
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, Housewife
, 2 Years of College
, Lower class
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| Mesg ID: | a1e4577e-cf2c-4558-9ec9-256ee28cdd9c |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
La and NY have 'em |
| Reply: |
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| I would say that while there are some lesbians who are offended by the idea of stripping for money, there are also those of us who aren't. To be honest, I would love to go to a strip club but would only go with a group of friends because I'd be concerned about being harrassed by male patrons. There are a couple of lesbian strip clubs in LA and NYC, but none here in DC that I know of. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Lynn ,
Washington, DC, United States
, 27
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
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| Mesg ID: | 6253b278-08c7-4e3d-ad19-850a001823e6 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Yep, lesbians watch strippers |
| Reply: |
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| I danced in strip, or 'gentleman's clubs,' for four years. While I do not know of any lesbian specific clubs in my city I know that some exist in other cities. Yes bisexual and lesbians go to the clubs. As a matter of fact I have worked at clubs that cater to women on certain nights of the week. Also guys I am sorry to say it is true that a lot of dancers are lesbians or at least bisexual themselves. I guess that they are like any other group of people, some find it offensive and some don't. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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D. ,
Dallas, TX, United States
, 28
, Female
, Christian
, American Indian
, Straight
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 48337bac-bbd0-4cb6-be15-f91a3ae38518 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
strip bars are a bit sleazy |
| Reply: |
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| I'm a lesbian, and my girlfriend of 8 years and I have never been to a strip club and have no desire to go to one. We have nothing against people who go, but it just seems kinda sleezy to us...doesn't turn us on. However, we both know lesbians who do like to go with their straight male friends. I think it's the same with lesbians as it is for anyone else. Some people like it, some people don't. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Chris M. ,
Philadelphia, PA, United States
, 28
, Female
, kind of a mix of several beliefs
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, High School Diploma
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 769226c3-3e24-40ae-bea9-157da443ab73 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
My girlfriend finds it demeaning |
| Reply: |
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I think it depends on the woman. More gay women than in the past do visit strip clubs and have a great time. I have been a few times and enjoy them. There are other lesbians (and women in general) who feel strip bars are sexist and demeaning and are offended by the idea of them. I personally don't go anymore because my girlfriend is one of the latter category.
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| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Eddie ,
Austin, TX, United States
, 39
, Female
, Methodist
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, IT Tech
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | b435d4a1-8d11-4d85-b74b-5f0f69f4302a |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Many strippers are bi |
| Reply: |
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| I too enjoy going to strip clubs with my boyfriend, but at times I think it makes some of his friends uncomfortable. Now I am by no means the lesbian spokesperson, but I have found from my experience that there are lesbians who attend gentlemen's clubs, especially those in smaller cities and rural areas where there are no lesbian strip clubs. I have also found that many strippers are either homosexual or bisexual and have received several free lap dances at the expense of the stripper when my boyfriend and his friends were required to pay. Now there is some discrimination that exists at certain strip clubs. On a particular evening I entered a strip club with a girlfriend without men accompanying us, but meeting us there. We were initailly denied entrance because we were not accompanied by a man. I politely inquired as to the reasoning behind such a rule and was told it was an effort to keep both lesbians and disgruntled wives out of the club. We were allowed to enter upon the arrival of our male 'escorts', but later when I went into the restroom and found one of the strippers engaged in some pretty heavy petting with another woman, I could only laugh at the irony. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Casandra ,
Portland, OR, United States
, 24
, Female
, Agnostic
, White/Caucasian
, Over 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
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| Mesg ID: | a244fc2f-6d6e-4a58-9acb-a088a94817c6 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Gentleman's Clubs |
| Reply: |
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In Tucson, there is really no special strip club for bi or lesbian women. Your best bet, if you'd like to enjoy a few lap dances, is to go to a club like Ten's or TD's East, with a guy friend, and ask for a table dance whenever a girl approaches your friend.
The idea of stripping and dancing for money may be offensive to some women, but not to me...and I consider myself a very liberated individual.
What's not to like about admiring a beautiful woman close-up?
I often go to various strip clubs with my husband. I also stripped at a club for about 6 months a few years ago because I was curious about what the stripping/topless industry was all about. I have a master's degree--and a brain...and still find nothing objectionable about topless clubs. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Moira ,
Tucson, AZ, United States
, 27
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Bisexual
, Teacher
, Over 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 19c6e047-9783-4659-8d6d-e9e0b9ec6fbc |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Boobie bars and butches |
| Reply: |
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| I have danced for eight years in Portland, Ore. We have more srtip clubs per capita here than anywhere in the United States. As far as I know there is one lesbian bar in town here that has dancers one night a week, that's it. Lots of women come down to the bars but I have seen maybe three 'hard core butch lesbians' in clubs in all of my eight years. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Anika ,
Portland, OR, United States
, 26
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 4fa8dc4e-a5a9-4254-bb14-024a938f27fe |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Why not try a swing club |
| Reply: |
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I know many couples with bi-sexual women. They do enjoy going to clubs for various reasons. Some go because they find the environment stimulating. They then share this level of arousal together when they get home. Many do go in hopes to pick up a woman, but their chances are about the same as a single man picking up a woman there.
I am wondering the reasoning behind your question. Are you looking for a lesbian encounter? If so, there are many things to consider. Do you want girl/girl only? Can your husband participate and to what level? Does you husband support the fulfillmet of this fantasy? You need to make sure you have communicated well with your husband first. Then, I would recommend browsing through swing clubs on line. I have never heard of a lesbian strip club, but the vast majority of females at swing clubs are bisexual. They are also more discrete than exotic dancers. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Erik ,
Hilton Head, SC, United States
, 34
, Male
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, 4 Years of College
, Lower middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 87f07e34-e818-439e-9625-1e58f320be11 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbian; strippers don't do much for me |
| Reply: |
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| I'm a lesbian, and I don't go to heterosexual strip clubs, but I know that some lesbian bars and parties feature female strippers. I've been to a few, but not specifically to see the strippers -- for the most part, they don't do much for me, but there have been exceptions! With regard to whether stripping is offensive to lesbians, I'd say it depends on the particular lesbian, just as stripping is offensive to some straight women but not others. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Denise ,
Washington, DC, United States
, 47
, Female
, 12-step
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, lawyer
, Over 4 Years of College
, Upper middle class, depression, ADD
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| Mesg ID: | 5a771bc4-1d54-4528-bf34-6d74e33cbc8a |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Not enough lesbians to support a strip bar? |
| Reply: |
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| Whether lesbians want to come in the clubs or not may be a moot point. Many strip clubs will not permit single women or groups of women to enter their clubs for a very simple reason: they don't want male customers paying attention (i.e., spending money) on any women other that the dancers. It would be like allowing a Lexus salesman to hang out in a Mercedes dealership. Couples of course are o.k. - because of people like you and your husband. You and he are spending money on the dancers. Of course, there are lesbian bars and clubs...but the idea of a lesbian strip club would probably only succeed in a very large city such as New York. I know I'm speaking out of gender here - and I'm quite sure there are lesbians who would enjoy a table dance from a sexy lady just as you do - but I think most lesbians have little interest in attending a strip club on such a regular basis to justify opening a club. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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David ,
Knoxville, TN, United States
, 47
, Male
, Catholic
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, attorney
, Over 4 Years of College
, Upper class
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| Mesg ID: | ce5275b4-3808-4425-9c5f-5ba3d93fbe3c |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbian strip clubs? Great idea! |
| Reply: |
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Well, I don't know about the rest of the country, but when I went out to a strip club with some lesbian friends of mine, they wouldn't let us in without male escorts. Apparently this was a precaution against prostitution. Not that we looked like prostitutes! So to start off, some clubs are definitely more friendly to all-women groups than others.
I think being offended by stripping depends on the person (straight or gay). Some women (not just lesbians) think stripping is demeaning to women, because it objectifies them, for example.
My friends and I just wanted to drink some beers and look at beautiful ladies. I think it boils down to a matter of taste, rather than sexuality.
I've never heard of lesbian-specific stripclubs, but it would be a neat idea! |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Koren ,
Boston, MA, United States
, 27
, Female
, White/Caucasian
, Lesbian
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | b3084713-093b-4a44-9736-386b3486c8c0 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Strip Bars and Lesbians |
| Reply: |
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| I'm a lesbian and have never been to a strip bar. Surprisingly, I know many straight women who have. I don't object to strip clubs, I just would be embarrassed to go. I would guess that it's more of a straight or bisexual woman's fetish than for lesbians. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Kristy ,
Denver, CO, United States
, Female
, Lesbian
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| Mesg ID: | 135c2eac-1d5b-41da-ba42-280604968e4a |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Lesbians and strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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I can only speak from my experience, there are so many questions to comment on here, but first let me tell you that here in Los Angeles, there are clubs for lesbians that feature stripping. It's an old joke that the strippers are all 'straight', which plays into the popular culture myth of gays wanting to turn straights. It's an inside joke. The stripping in these clubs is more a feature of the club, for atmosphere, than the whole focus of the club. None of my lesbian friends have ever told me about their stripper experiences, i think that's a guy thing, and straight women.
My last three serious relationships were with women who enjoyed strip clubs, one club here in particular that is known for it's late night Co-ed crowds. My buddy and I went there for his birthday with our lesbian couple-friends. I don't think they would have gone there on their own cause it's just not there speed, It's still oriented for men paying women, but they had a good time anyway. Gay couples are as diverse as straight ones. None of my lesbian friends give it a second thought, it's not on their minds. Perhaps there is a divide within the lesbian community about stripping, but my experience has been that almost any Gay debate sounds just like everyone else’s debate. There is no real single category – you’re either on this side of the line or you’re not. Much in the way my Gay brother is not in any way a stereotypical gay man, even his own friends find it hard to believe sometimes. And what is the stereotype?
One answer might be that bi-women go to strip clubs all the time - with their boyfriends. Two of the girls i mentioned before had had female lovers and readily talked about it. After all, are they not the classic bi-sexual reference? In their cases, as many lesbian friends of mine, the level of offense to women acting-out or being forward is about equal to that of straight women - i'm sure you know several straight women who are offended by stripping? Whether religious or post-modern feminism, some women have always been offended by women dancing for men's money. I don't think sexual orientation is a determinate factor here- ultimately, it's a political choice.
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| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Ken ,
Altadena, CA, United States
, 42
, Male
, Christian
, White/Caucasian
, Straight
, entertainment
, Over 4 Years of College
, Upper middle class
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| Mesg ID: | d148a5a7-fe81-47f7-8cde-cec4e305df51 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
Females patrons in strip bars |
| Reply: |
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| More power to you !! I dated a girl once who enjoyed going to a strip bar occasionally and getting lap / couch dances. Sometimes we would get one dancer to dance on both of us, it was very stimulating. I am sure there are lesbian strip clubs, but I doubt the dancers would be like the ones in gentlemans clubs. |
| Posted: | 2/27/2007 |
| By: |
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Ken ,
Peoria, IL, United States
, 40
, Male
, White/Caucasian
, Sales
, 2 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | 90f2b0e5-80b4-470c-a20c-5b6ab952efbb |
| Responses: | 0 |
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| Category: |
Sexual Orientation |
| Subject: |
I'm lesbian and like strip clubs |
| Reply: |
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| Around here in Montreal, there are no specific strip clubs for lesbians. There is one male strip club for women, tons of female strip clubs for men, and tons of male strip clubs for gay men. I personally enjoy going to strip clubs with my girlfriend of 5 years and her straight male friends (because female clubs won't let women in without male escorts). Some lesbian friends I know are completely turned off by the idea of female strippers, some find it degrading. And then there are some bi and lesbian women I know who enjoy it and some who even fight for more rights for sex workers in general. So I wouldn't say tnat all lesbians love it or hate it, it depends on each person. |
| Posted: | 1/2/2007 |
| By: |
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Kathy ,
Montreal, NA, Canada
, 25
, Female
, Asian
, Lesbian
, Administration
, 4 Years of College
, Middle class
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| Mesg ID: | d8bf20de-2202-4daa-98a8-9f3575077753 |
| Responses: | 0 |
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