Original Message (Pre-Screened)
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Black men and oral sex
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Is it true to any degree that black men don't like to perform oral sex on black women? I have heard this stereotype from several sources, black and white. If there is any truth, why? And would a black man who doesn't do it with a black woman do it wilth a woman of another race?
Posted:3/7/2002
By:
Paul F. , Albany, GA, United States , 34 , Male , Unitarian , White/Caucasian , Straight , assistant director , Over 4 Years of College , Upper middle class
Mesg ID: 69531573-3edd-4f51-b8ae-8558635758ef
Responses:15
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Pre-screened Responses
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Come a long way since the '70s
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Fear of exposure and the less-inhibited sexual practices of whites lead blacks (men and women) to willingly engage in oral sex with whites rather than other blacks.

As a black teenager growing up in the South in the 1970s, I knew that a black woman giving and/or receiving oral sex was taboo, and a black man giving oral sex was even worse! Among our black female friends, it was whispered that black men received oral sex from prostitutes and women of other races and ethnicities. Decent black women didn't do such things! Whether you agree with it or
not, you must consider this attitude within the context of the time in history.<p>

The desegregation of schools and neighborhoods rapidly changed sexual practices and destroyed
sexual myths. However, inhibitions still prevail, and many black women and men my age still will not admit to giving oral sex. Even I can only do so because of the anonymity of the Internet.

I still have vivid memories of my white cheerleader friends demonstrating how to give oral sex to a guy and white guys offering us oral sex while doing similar demonstrations. Now, younger blacks and whites - males and females - openly talk about their oral sex practices. This myth should die very soon. My how times have changed.
Posted:9/29/2002
By:
Yvette , Miami, FL, United States , 45 , Female , Baptist , Black/African American , Straight , 4 Years of College , Upper middle class
Mesg ID: ee339080-ecaf-49dd-9b4f-99ec7d5054eb
Responses:1
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: He'll go there if...
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I am in a very open relationship with my black boyfriend, and he says, 'If she does, I do; if she don't, I don't.' He doesn't count and keep track, but if you are willing to go there sometimes, so is he.
Posted:7/17/2002
By:
Anonymous , Hollywood, FL, United States , 16 , Female , Catholic , White/Caucasian , Bisexual , student , Less than High School Diploma , Middle class
Mesg ID: 8ff6cbd2-025d-46d8-a792-3e0a3df07c67
Responses:0
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: On old myth
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I think it is a matter of personal preference. None of the men I have dated have had a problem with it. I think that once upon a time, it used to hold some water, but not anymore. Blacks, whites and everyone else can do just about the same things in bed . . . and most will!
Posted:5/17/2002
By:
Christine , Houston, TX, United States , 19 , Female , Baptist , Black/African American , Straight , Student , 2 Years of College , Upper middle class
Mesg ID: 3dc105d0-568d-44e6-bf62-ed4a388a50a0
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: I'm a diver...
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I heard that about oral sex years ago, but I've not heard it recently. I thought the stereotype had died, but I guess it hasn't. I enjoy giving and receiving, and the race of the woman is no issue. For me, the main issue is hygiene. I heard it put well once on one of those 'Blind Date' TV shows: The man (who wasn't black) told his date something like: 'I'm a diver. And as long as the water is clear, I can stay down until my air runs out.' I'm with him.
Posted:3/14/2002
By:
Elliott , Dallas, TX, United States , 37 , Male , Black/African American , Straight , 4 Years of College , Middle class
Mesg ID: 75959aee-8799-4811-909c-b149cdcbb8a2
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Not true
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This is not true. I have received oral sex from a black man, and many of my friends have, too - some from more men than others. It is about getting them to open up and trust you. Most of the time it happens when they fall in love or truly cherish the one they are with.
Posted:3/14/2002
By:
Kayla , Milwaukee, WI, United States , 18 , Female , Black/African American , High School Diploma , Upper class
Mesg ID: b41a1a6e-2aef-4e22-9de7-03da2bf85b43
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: One big rumor
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There is no truth to this rumor. Some black men may not do it or may not like to do it, but most of my friends do. It's the same with my white friends - some like it, some don't. It has nothing to do with race; it's just personal choice.
Posted:3/14/2002
By:
Sherman , Richmond, CA, United States , 33 , Male , Christian , Black/African American , Straight , contractor , Technical School , Middle class
Mesg ID: aeac71e4-5bef-4298-ad2a-3013b5f52bb5
Responses:0
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Funky black women
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I believe the reason black men (or men of any other race) generally do not engage in oral sex with black women is simple: personal hygiene. Black women seem to not give a damn about being 'funky.' Believe me, I have had fabulous relationships with black women who exceeded white women in every respect: beauty, brains, values ... but it's about time that somebody called a fat, funky spade a spade. And let me say that there are white women who are just as trifling. Then there's Mexican women ... whew! I could write a book about their hygiene, based on my experiences.<p>

Come on, black women, let's clean up, slim down and throw the fake hair in the trash.
Posted:3/14/2002
By:
John Doe , Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN, United States , Male , Black/African American , Straight , Professional , Upper class
Mesg ID: 7ddde712-d075-4e13-a2ff-0855e0537b44
Responses:7
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Not that I know of
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I have also heard that black men do not perform oral sex. This is a myth. Many of my male friends state that they get aroused by the reaction they get from their partners. They also like the taste, smell and texture of the vagina on their tongue.
Posted:3/14/2002
By:
Felicia , Queens, NY, United States , Female
Mesg ID: 4e6f81c0-8bf9-48ed-b864-06ab46794227
Responses:1
Unscreened Responses
Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Some do, but say they dont.
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I've heard plenty of black men say they do and don't ... some will often tell others that they don't, while in other company, they say they actually do. Sometimes I think that many black men see it as a sort of weakness - that if they actually do it in private and confess to doing it in public, they are seen as less of a 'man.' Apparently, black men are supposed to be so great at sex that all it takes is little to no foreplay, and then lots of 'normal' sex. Many black men and women like to put each other down a great deal as far as sex and relationships go. I feel this is part of the problem. If a black man is prone to putting down black women a lot, they will probably never admit to performing oral sex on a black woman because she 'doesn't deserve it.' The women do this, too. I think everyone involved in this perception game needs to grow up.
Posted:9/24/2003
By:
R. , Abilene, TX, United States , 22 , Female , Black/African American , 2 Years of College , Middle class
Mesg ID: 3923b76c-a39b-41c0-8503-b3f2e815a015
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: black men and oral sex.
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I'm nigerian, and for some reason I haven't/wouldn't go down on black females. I guess it's the hair, cause mine is straight. And so are the others I have been with. Also the color down there, the darker-the less likely. hygiene ranks number 1!
Posted:3/3/2003
By:
David , Upland, CA, United States , 19 , Male , Pentecostal , Nigerian, I don't consider myself black , Straight , Student , 2 Years of College , Upper class
Mesg ID: 17d08f6c-1af8-4d79-8178-2f28e384da4e
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: diving
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amazing, some friends and i were just talking about this last night. i think our misconception might, perhaps, have been influenced by a certain few rappers (certainly not all) who declared at one time or another 'i ain't no pussy eater!' or words to that effect, implying that it is a sign of weakness. it's pretty dumb for us to make generalizations about black men's sexuality based on something we saw on mtv-2, but unfortunately that is just the kind of generalization one makes when too embarrassed to call up our african american friends and ask them. which is why this web site is so sorely needed. i am very glad to be disabused of this notion.
Posted:8/9/2002
By:
Jim , Seattle, WA, United States , 36 , Male , Agnostic , poet , 2 Years of College , Lower middle class
Mesg ID: 6d1bf52b-0eae-421f-9182-7551ef5ff814
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: What?
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Are you serious? I have only been with black men and I have been begged by them for the opportunity to give me oral sex. I, as well as my friends, are of the opinion that there are 2 kinds of black men when it comes to oral sex: 1. those that give it, and 2. those that lie about it. I can't believe that this myth is still going on, but I am thankful for the chance to say that the myth about Brothas not going down is just that. And I'm thankful for it.
Posted:5/9/2002
By:
Allie , Washington, DC, United States , 26 , Female , Christian , Black/African American , Straight , Lawyer , Over 4 Years of College , Middle class
Mesg ID: 55c709cd-7c7f-4071-a4b3-31f003549e6b
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: To lick or not to lick?
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Okay, first let me clear some things up for those who do not know. Every black man that I have met loves to give oral sex to black women. My partner loves it and does not complain at all.Actually every guy that I have dated whated to do that to me. Now on the subject of hygenie. Yes that can be a problem but, for someone to say that all black women smell bad is definatly not true and not all wear weaves so do reframe from talking about something that you clearly do not know about. I am a black woman and I know that I do not smell bad. Let's talk about black men that do not wash there self.

Come on black men wash the funk from your body and stop trying to be a race that you are not.
Posted:5/8/2002
By:
Kandice Gray , Rialto, CA, United States , 19 , Female , Christian , Black/African American , Straight , student , 2 Years of College , Middle class
Mesg ID: da0cc882-1095-400a-a6ad-5245387253fa
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: n ot realy a black thin g...
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this is a pan-male macho thing that has been made a black male thing now that white men by and large are expected to be un-macho. the idea is that vaginal intercourse and the reciept of oral intercourse are the only sex acts worth indulging in since they are the ones that bring a man off. to go down on a woman is to ensure her orgasm and therefore paying her undue respect a s a woman.
Posted:3/25/2002
By:
ju stin , chicago, IL, United States , Male , Atheist , White/Caucasian , 2 Years of College , Lower middle class
Mesg ID: ed828603-d739-482d-b9bb-6cce5b5974e0
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Category: Sensitive Matters
Subject: Black men and oral sex
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There is (was) truth to this. But it is outdated. 25 years ago, this was predominately true. Also, Black women were much less inclined provide oral sex. This has to do with 'what's White, and what's Black.' Most Whites don't realize it, but Blacks have tended to be very conservative (except on issues where we feel our survival is at stake). And this extended, in the past, to sexuality -- specifically if to provide oral sex. During an era when Blacks were prevented from achieving nearly anything positive, this was something that was taken as a source of pride, because 'Whites do Anything!' as we used to say.

This is no longer true. I don't know of any Black man my age or younger that doesn't 'go down' every chance he gets.
Posted:3/18/2002
By:
Wayne C. , Parsippany, NJ, United States , 41 , Male , Baptist , Black/African American , Straight , Over 4 Years of College
Mesg ID: 479c9462-03fb-43c5-85d6-d0d5a18fb114
Responses:0
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