General
Diversity
Questions 1-10
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THE QUESTION:
GD10: Why are white males more than any group likely to commit
crimes like sexual assault, child molestation and sodomy?
POSTED MAY 6, 1998
Angela, 25, Toledo, OH
ANSWER 1:
White men commit more cases of forcible rape because
whites make up the largest racial group in the United States. In
1994, whites made up about 83 percent of the population (1). Whites
accounted for about 56 percent of forcible rape arrests in 1995 (2).
Comparing the percentages, whites are a good bit under-represented in
regard to rape perpetrators. As such, it would probably be incorrect
to state that white males, as a group, are more likely to commit
rape. Concerning race and pedophilia, a speaker at my medical school
said that our local percentages roughly reflect the general
composition of the state's population. Unfortunately, I cannot site a
source for where you could find more information. The Crime in the
United States report (2) cited above doesn't explicitly state what
qualifies as "other sex offenses," so I don't know what we can
accurately draw from their numbers (whites made up 63 percent of
"other sex offenses"). Hope this helps, and please check out the
data: (1)
http://www.census.gov/population/estimates/nation/intfile3-1.txt; (2)
http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/crimeus/crimeus.htm
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
Dale P., 23, white male, Columbi , SC
FURTHER NOTICE:
The simple answer is that I do not believe they are. I
believe we will find that a great many mothers and female caretakers
of children engage in much abuse of children. The difference is the
abuse is hidden.
POSTED AUG. 13, 1998
Elaine C.
<eoder1@compulinx-net.net>,
Columbus, OH
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
To Angela: Where did you get your information that whites
make up the majority of criminals in those areas? If you live where
there are more whites vs. other races or nationalities, then you will
hear more about whites commiting the crimes and vice versa if you
live where there are more blacks or Asians or other nationalities. It
doesn't help society to generalize about races that way. There are
criminals in all facets of society.
POSTED SEPT. 11, 1998
Joseph, 25, white male
<fuerte24@yahoo.com>,
Escondido, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I can offer several reasons why males are more likely to
be the ones recognized for sexual deviance: 1) Simple biology has
made it much more difficult for women to get pleasure from these
types of acts (imagine an adult woman trying to have sex with a 10-
or 12-year-old, boy for example. It just doesn't work). 2) Women are
socialized differently than men. Women are taught to make themselves
look attractive to lure men and then work to care for the resulting
offspring. Men are encouraged to focus on "getting laid" al ot more.
It is this same socialization that has most women hating pornography
while most men like it. Men who have trouble in their pursuit of
women and the resulting sexual gratification feel they must have
sexual gratification in some form; most women don't have to chase
men. The men turn to fulfulling their sexual needs elsewhere and
usually pick someone/something that offers little or no resistance to
their advances. Hence, child molestation, in some cases homosexual
behavior, bestiality and so on.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, married white female, MD
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Sex crimes have less to do with erotica and more to do
with issues of power and control. Male sexual aggression is prevalent
in all cultures and is therefore not exclusive to white men. In
general, we raise boys to "control" their emotions and to be inwardly
"strong" and relatively unexpressive. The most common theme among sex
offenders is that they 1) have a feeling of being rejected by society
2) experience a sense of uncontrollable rage 3) have a disconnect
from reality and are extremely fantasy-oriented 4) have addictions to
chemicals, pornography, 5) were themselves victims of abuse and
intensive manipulation, or are 6) true serial sociopaths.
Without intensive therapy, most offenders do not view their
offenses as "crimes," and most repeat. This is true from priests to
pedophiles. Sex with a non-consensual party, especially a child,
usually happens as a result of manipulation and persuasion on the
part of the offender. These are extremely closeted behaviors that
allow the perpetrator the illusion of power, control and temporary
gratification. Keep in mind that women do offend as well, but
certainly not as frequent. Our children are in trouble because we are
a society that is simply not comfortable with educating openly and
candidly about the realities of sex and sexuality.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
Dee W. black female
<westde@hiram.edu>,
Cleveland, OH
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Your question assumes that this is indeed the case.
Blanket statement/questions need to have facts behind them. You also
list "sodomy" as a crime - which it is not in most states (Georgia's
statute was just ruled unconstitutional), Canada and Europe. "Sodomy"
is most often used as a code word for homosexuality and then is
linked (as Calico's response does) to other deviant behavior, such as
child molestation and bestiality. Molestation and incest happen in
every ethnic/racial group - it may just be that "white males" are
more visible to you than other groups. There's still the perception
out there that black men "prey" on white women, which is as
nonsensical as the "gay recruitment" theory.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
Michael, 37, gay white male
<txmichael@worldnet.att.net>,
Houston, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
In response to the wording of Angela's question: I would
not include sodomy in a list with sexual assault and child
molestation. Both sexual assault and child molestation are acts that
have victims - they are crimes perpetrated by people wrongfully
exerting their power over the less powerful. Sodomy, outlawed in some
states but not in others, can take place between heterosexuals and
homosexuals who are consenting adults. Also, Calico's depiction of
homosexual behavior as deviant, as a need for "frustrated straight
men" (forgive me if my assumption is incorrect) to fulfill their
sexual appetites grossly belittles the loving, monogamous
relationships many homosexuals successfully maintain despite the
general lack of support found in American society. I know of no
straight men who turn to other men for sexual gratification simply
due to being unlucky with women. Child molestation, bestiality and
homosexual behavior cannot and should not be equated. As a
homosexual, I have many behaviors not any different from
"heterosexual behaviors." If the reference was to sex between two men
who may love each other, it could not be more different from the
other aforementioned crimes.
POSTED DEC. 2, 1998
J.B., gay male
<beau_mec@rocketmail.com>,
Tampa, FL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD9: I am noticing a disturbing trend in America: Instead of
becoming a "melting pot" of different ethnicities into a uniquely
American experience, I see more and more of a "tossed salad"
mentality, in which different cultures and languages are tossed
together but refuse to merge and "melt down." I understand cultural
and national pride among peoples, but I feel this kind of "diversity"
is inherently harmful and not as beneficial as we would be led to
believe. Does anyone else feel the same, or am I just way off
base?
POSTED APRIL 24, 1998
Wallace, white,
<tdbuk@juno.com>, Suwanee,
GA
ANSWER 1:
The problem with the "Melting Pot" metaphor is that it's
built more on hype than on reality. Every new wave of immigrants that
have come to America has managed to irk the sensibilities of the
"native born" because they didn't come off the boat speaking perfect,
unaccented English and eating apple pie. Woodrow Wilson, if memory
serves, said something to the effect that hyphenated Americans
weren't real Americans at all. The so-called melting pot that existed
in the late 19th and early 20th centuries basically amounted to
America's cites being divided into ghettoes of ethnicity rather than
just color. The question I have for those who feel that "diversity"
is harmful: What parts of your heritage are you willing to jettison
in order to make the melting pot a reality?
POSTED APRIL 26, 1998
Jay B., black male
<jayboyd@ameritech.net>,
Detroit, MI
FURTHER NOTICE:
Wallace: I don't agree. I feel it's high time our nation
was united by universal respect and acceptance, rather than by
"peer-pressure" mentality - the idea that people have to be alike to
get along. We have enough in common with each other, simply because
we are human, that we shouldn't need to feel afraid of people because
they look, speak or act a little differently than we do. I hope
America has matured beyond that point.
POSTED APRIL 29, 1998
Colette, white
<inkwolf@earthlink.net>,
Seymour, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Another problem is that "melting pot" winds up meaning
"learning to act white." The majority culture rarely wants all those
"other people" to do the melting, while they -those who think of
themselves as the natives - keep living like they're used to living.
So immediately, all those melting-pot types are second-class
citizens.
POSTED MAY 2, 1998
Will H., 48, gay white male, Dallas, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I cannot conceive of anyone making it mandatory to conform
to a culture that is not your own. I think the term "melting pot"
should be changed to "bouillabaisse" to accommodate the many cultures
we have in our country and to depict how other cultures have added to
the essence that is the United States.
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
R. McRae, 34, black
<armcrae@yahoo.com>,
Washington, D.C.
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
History is a great teacher. It does repeat itself, and
there is a very basic (and non-racial) truth in the old saying that
"...a nation divided...cannot stand." While no one should abandon
their ethnic heritage or religious beliefs, neither should they
embrace them to the extent they are prevented (by their own volition
or that of others) from peaceful coexistence with other social
groups. The critical ability of a nation to remain strong and free -
two things Americans enjoy and that we abysmally take for granted -
is dependent on the unity and cohesiveness of its people, especially
with regard to language. "Cultural diversity" is a real catchy,
politically correct buzz-phrase these days, but as currently defined,
it has a dark side few seem to have the honesty to address. We've
always been culturally diverse; we just haven't (destructively) built
our entire senses of self-worth around it until now. It's dangerous
and morally lazy to gauge our "worth" as a function of anything other
than our accomplishments as human beings.
POSTED JUNE 11, 1998
Cindy M., 47, white, islnd2sm@jps.net, Lake Forest, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I agree with the questioner. I believe one of the great
racial problems today in America is the fact that so many people are
stuck on their "nationality." Many of these people would probably
disown their heritage if they knew what their "ancestors" were like.
I say this because I went to Tunisia with a black friend, and after
seeing their mannerisms, he was so offended by me saying he must be
excited about being in his homeland that he stopped wearing his
African Amulets. I am Swedish/Norwegian and 100 percent American,
which is all that matters. I have been to more than 30 countries, and
if you had the privilege of being born in America, you should call
yourself American. The bottom line is if we keep making these
boundaries between races in America, instead of just being proud of
being American, we'll never be rid of racism.
POSTED JUNE 12, 1998
Scandinavian American (now that sounds stupid), Chawksman@juno.com,
Portsmouth, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
In Canada, we have a "Mosaic" social model. Unlike the
American "Melting Pot," we have tried over the years to nurture a
truly multicultural society. This has not been easy, particularly in
the face of an increasingly diverse ethnic base. Some groups that may
have been well-established over generations feel the change is a
threat to their way of life. I personally feel multiculturalism is a
great advantage in an increasingly global society. We have lots to
learn from everyone, and diverse skills bring diverse strengths; I
don't think that maintaining cultural differences is divisive. I
think the perception that a homogenous way of life is preferable or
superior is simply outdated in the global village.
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
C. Shea, Vancouver, BC, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I am a little mystified by the attitude that conforming to
society means acting white. Does anyone believe wearing a suit and a
tie is pleasurable? Of all races, the one race that does not have an
identity is the white race. Whites are not "European Americans" or
"Icelandic Americans"; they are simply white, no matter their
background. Wearing a suit and a tie, getting a decent haircut,
that's not being white, that's being presentable. And yes, I do have
an ethnic background, and already have dismissed it in order to make
a better life for myself here. I live in America, so I am
American.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
Alex R, 28, Hispanic
<emperor-one@hotmail.com>,
Las Vegas, NV
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I think originally people came to America to escape
something from their country. By "melting" together in this new
nation, people had a sense of hope and a fresh outlook to their
future as being part of something they could be comfortable with and
proud of. I don't think these people ever totally abandoned their
heritage - they simply kept the positive and left behind the
negative.
What I see happening more and more often are people coming here
for the welfare, government assistance, healthcare, etc., or taking
advantage of our freedoms and cutting corners to get a green
card/citizenship the fastest, easiest way. These people don't seem to
really want to be American (i.e. to learn English, pledge their
allegiance to this country, register to vote, etc.) They complain
about the way this country is run, complain about the crime, complain
about anything and everything and demand respect for their heritage
while being disrespectful to American heritage and culture. I don't
think the term "melting pot" implies people have to give up their
heritage; it just means that despite our differences, we all work
together toward one goal - making a place where we can all live free,
safe and happy.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
Victoria, American (with mixed ancestry), Los Angeles, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
The Melting Pot is a myth. A Stir Fry is more like it. The
Melting Pot metaphor is based on a two-way deal that if newcomers
learn the values of the American culture, they will be assimilated,
have opportunities and be welcomed into American social life and
families. If we assimilate them, they will acculturate; if we
don¹t, they won't need to. It still takes two to tango. It
worked for most European immigrants as their mixed ethnic heritage
gives most a choice of Irish, English or German festivals to
celebrate, even Italian and Greek holidays, too. Most of the others,
usually people of color, acculturate and knock on the assimilation
door, but no one hears them. They've always been there, but out of
sight and sound. Their knock will become louder, however, when
they're 50 percent of the population of California by 2010 and of the
United States by 2050. Ready or not, here they come.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
Frank M., 69, Latino
<fmont@swbell.net>, San
Antonio, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
I see the same effect, although I do not think it is
harmful. People need to lose the thought that interracial
socialization, dating and marriage, and any other mixing of cultures,
will cause a person to "forget where they came from." It's more about
where we are going. I have dated men of different races and noticed
particularly with African-American men a general disdain when they
see other African-American men with Caucasian women. When I
questioned my most recent date on this subject, he spoke of
"preserving the integrity of his race." I believe he was referring to
the loss of culture, i.e., if we all produced children of mixed race,
what race would they be? What culture would they identify with? Well,
my answer is twofold. First, they would truly be Americans, and
second, they would have an even richer race, one that could claim
multiple cultures. Those who leave their own back yards to experience
other cultures will undoubtedly learn a greater respect for (and
understanding of) the different cultures that make up America.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Mimi, 37, African-American female, Mt. View, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
Growing up in a rural white community, I found "normal"
American culture to be lacking much depth and understanding. Being
different from those around you was an unacceptable flaw. As an
adult, I find modern and ancient cultures all over the world
fascinating. While I don't agree with all practices or beliefs, I do
feel there is a lot we can learn from all cultures. I am all for
continuing one's cultural practices in the United States, within the
boundaries of the law. I also feel you should put your best foot
forward and become a contributing member to society. This is where
the "melting pot" thing comes in - it is what creates real American
culture. The continual influx of new people and their cultures is
what gives this country depth and color. It is what keeps it from
becoming stagnant and resistant to change. It isn't just our form of
government that makes our country special. If we just do away with
all forms of cultural diversity, this country will become just like
every other one. It will lose much of its uniqueness. As a white
American of (mostly) Western European descent, I have embraced
certain cultural practices into my own life. Some of these are from
my own cultural background, some are not. I have become a sort of
mini-melting pot. Far from finding this a drawback, I have found it
makes me a better, more rounded person.
POSTED OCT. 7, 1998
Single White Female, 29
<pamindian@yahoo.com>,
Seattle, Wa
FURTHER NOTICE 12:
I agree that "melting pot" seems to refer to acting white.
I am a very fair-skinned Mexican-American female and live on the
Texas/Mexico border. I have often been told I look and talk like I am
white, and this is supposed to be a compliment - these people seem to
assume that all minorities would want to and should seek to look and
act as white as possible. I don't believe any ethnic group should
give up their culture - it is the identity our grandparents passed on
to us and that we must pass on to our future generations. These
different cultures make up America.
POSTED NOV. 2, 1998
Lisa B., 24, Hispanic
<leesann@yahoo.com>,
Laredo, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 13:
To Wallace: If you look at the hundreds of Jim Crow laws
passed in this country to discriminate against Native Americans,
Chinese, Japanese and, most of all, blacks, and set these peoples
aside from the mainstream, I am sure you will conclude that the
"melting pot" could never have been, since it was never intended to
include these peoples (of color). These peoples were not the ones who
would "refuse to merge and 'melt down,' in your terms, but were, in
fact, denied the opportunity to do so by the very European-Americans
who coined the phrase "melting pot" while creating and extending the
system of Jim Crow that would tolerate no melting. Would you have
expected these denied peoples to then abjure their cultures while
being excluded from participating in the mainstream culture? To
Virginia: I see no basis in history for ascribing loftier virtues and
motives to America's earlier immigrants over those of its more recent
arrivals. They've all ostensibly been escaping the same things -
poverty, persecution, limited opportunities - and seeking the same
things - better and/or easier lives. The predominantly white earlier
immigrants were solicited and welcomed with open arms, and were
greeted with a virtual paradise of natural resources largely free to
be plundered by those so inclined. Great fortunes were amassed, but
the plundering was severe. More recent arrivals have been
significantly more people of color (non-European) and have been
generally less welcomed and have been greeted by significantly
reduced resources, made largely so by the plundering of those earlier
arrivals.
POSTED DEC. 1, 1998
Floyd L., 58, black male
<lastchild@worldnet.att.net>,
Memphis, TN
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD8: Movies have ratings, records have labels and clubs have
age requirements, yet a lot of parents encourage their children to
ignore these guidelines and participate in things that are not deemed
age-appropriate. For example, a number of parents would encourage
their children to watch the Jerry Springer show to encourage
dialogue. What is the logic in going against what "experts" have set
up in our society? Are there any areas where we should never cross
the lines already set up?
POSTED APRIL 23, 1998
Apryl P., black
<apryl@mail-me.com>
Oak Park, MI
ANSWER 1:
Most of my friends who are parents are very torn between
the urge to protect their children's innocence and the necessity of
educating them to the perils all around them - drugs, violence,
pedophilia, etc. Perhaps some parents are using the "Jerry Springer"
show to provide some type of lesson, although more sensitive and
appropriate methods could probably be found. On the other hand, I
agree many parents do not screen their children's influences closely
enough - perhaps because such a degree of vigilance was unnecessary
when they were children.
POSTED APRIL 26, 1998
A. Morgan, 33, Houston
FURTHER NOTICE:
I do not see this happening. I am 15, and never has my
mother said "Go watch Jerry Springer" or "Go do something that is
morally and legally wrong." If this is happening, it could be that
the parents simply don't care.
POSTED JUNE 11, 1998
L.C., 15, VT
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I don't believe rating systems are anything more than
general guides to content. Jurassic Park has a PG-13 rating.
When I saw it, I understood that some children under that age might
well be disturbed by the film, but I also recognized that other
children would already be far more familiar with dinosaurs and their
potential for mayhem than I might be. You cannot expect to entrust
your children's emotional or mental well-being, or their ethical
development, to someone else. The greatest thing a parent can do is
to evaluate content and make the decision as to whether it's
appropriate for his/her children based on knowledge of what those
children are capable of comprehending. And while I can't say I would
find Jerry Springer edifying in any way for any age group,
parents who use it to encourage discussion of issues they deem
important are actively evaluating content and participating in their
children's upbringing, not leaving it to "experts." A friend of mine
once put it pretty deftly: "If I can't trust my child's morals to
Disney, who can I trust them to?"
POSTED JUNE 1998
M.J. Walters, 46, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
As a mother of two boys ages 16 and 13, I let them watch
many, many "shoot 'em up," monster and even somewhat sexy movies, but
they are never allowed to watch the daytime talk shows. Those talk
shows showcase the very worst our society has to offer, and I don't
want my children to think those people are normal or acceptable. At
least the movies are supposed to be fiction. (Jerry Springer
is a talk show - right?)
POSTED SEPT. 25, 1998
Liz, 35, Ventura, CA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD7: Which is more accepted, cultural identity or national
identity?
POSTED APRIL 8, 1998
Josh C., 18
<NEONfetus@aol.com>,
Atwater, CA
ANSWER 1:
I think cultural identity is more easily recognized than
national identity. Acceptance of someone's cultural identity by
others depends on their attitudes. I'm very interested in this issue,
as my husband and I adopted a little boy from Guatemala last year.
Probably his cultural identity (Hispanic) will be noticed before his
new national identity (American). I find myself wondering if he will
experience prejudice or even mistreatment from law enforcement types.
It makes me realize again how essential it is for everyone to be
treated well and fairly by the system.
POSTED AUG. 7, 1998
Betsy M., 46, white female
<bmoore@cazcollege.edu>,
Cazenovia, NY
FURTHER NOTICE:
I'd say cultural identity. The racism and political
correctness that is everywhere in today's society is evidence of
this.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, white female, 26, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD6: With the globalization process, many large organizations
are encountering difficulties in cross-cultural management. Why are
chief executives failing by not recognizing the strategic advantage
of managing different cultures?
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
N. Caramia
<nca@lineone.net>, London,
UK
ANSWER 1:
I believe the major reason chief executives fail to
recognize the strategic advantage of managing different cultures is
the bottom line - money. Their main purpose for globalization is to
increase profits through cheap labor, less-stringent OSHA
regulations, little or no taxes, more dividends for stock holders -
the list can go on and on. With that in mind, why would the
executives of those organizations even consider something like
cultural differences? Once questions are raised and receive lots of
attention, the organizations simply pack up and move to another
unsuspecting country or location. Look at northern Mexico along the
Rio Grande River - it's a prime example of what I've just
described.
POSTED APRIL 24, 1998
R. Smith, M.B.A.
<smithre@cctr.umkc.edu>,
Kansas City, KS
FURTHER NOTICE:
A corporation's executive staff has a responsibility to
generate profits, not to hand out welfare to other countries' poor.
The average peron who wants to invest their retirement money into
safe and prudent stocks would insist on companies that show
stability, growth and profitablity. I believe corporate executives
will learn how to manage workers with different cultures simply
because worker productivity makes good economic sense. But if
cultural differences disrupt productivity, then those executives have
a responsibility to curtail those culturally derived activities. For
example, in some former Communist countries, there is no work ethic
because everyone is guaranteed food and income for life. In some
cultures, male dominance is accepted and men refuse to work for a
female supervisor. Let's not turn our successful corporations into
yet another arm of the welfare state.
POSTED JUNE 28, 1998
A.W., Fremont, CA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD5: Various thinkers often propose that members of various
groups with limited sociopolitical power may participate in their own
disempowerment (example: abused wife returns to live with abusive
husband). To what extent is this point of view on- or off-target?
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
David W., 45, Euro-American male
<dweber@du.edu>
Denver, CO
ANSWER 1:
I think this is a true statement in many cases. The
qualities that make a person attracted to an abuser don't simply go
away once the person is beaten up a few times and can't deny what is
happening. This also applies to other people who can't succeed; there
is a strong correlation between their failure and the qualities that
made them put themself into the failing situation in the first
place.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Calico, 26, white female, MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD4: I have gained weight in the last two years. It seems that
people have no problem walking up to me saying 'You've gained weight"
or worse, "are you pregnant?" It would seem to me it's pretty obvious
that I know I've gained weight, since I have to dress me. I don't
know these people well enough to be comfortable with the teasing,
yet, I was taught it was impolite to point out their lack of class
and tact on the spot. How could I reasonably respond to these
comments? Some people are larger and some are smaller than the
"idea.l" Either way, the comments are rude. It seems weight is OK to
tease about, where other body changes are not.
POSTED MARCH 24, 1998
Apryl P., black
<apryl@mail-me.com>
Oak Park, MI
ANSWER 1:
With society's ideal woman being tall and waif-thin,
people will compare every woman to that ideal (at least this seems to
be my experience). What people don't take into account is bone
structure and genetics. I have gained some weight, and have had to
deal with rude comments from my family. I tell them I know I have
gained weight, and I don't need reminding. I have finally come to the
realization that I cannot look like what society thinks I should., so
I have accepted my body the way it is. I have started an excercise
program and eat nutritiously. If this doesn't help, I am not going to
be upset, because I don't think there should be a generalization of
women based on their weight. Every woman is beautiful in her own way,
and she shouldn't look toward to validate herself.
POSTED APRIL 1, 1998
Candace, 23, white, Olathe, KS
FURTHER NOTICE:
I happen to be built quite thin, having what is called a
"high metabolism." Basically, I eat and eat and eat and don't gain
weight. In fact, I lose weight easily and unintentionally, especially
if I am sick for a week or very busy and don't eat as regularly. I
get comments on my weight, and I don't appreciate it. Not only do I
get, "You are so lucky" or "Shut up! I hate you! You are so thin," I
also get "You're too skinny" or "You need to gain some weight!" So I
think there is just a general obsession with "perfection" in terms of
weight and the normative perception of beauty. But who wants to
attract guys who are obsessed with such superficial qualities,
anyway?
POSTED APRIL 18, 1998
Cerridwen, 27, female, San Francisco
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
My guess is that people say these things because of their
own insecurities. I'm constantly being told I'm short (which I
suppose I am) and I wouldn't take it as an offense if that wasn't the
way people so obviously mean it to be taken. I also find it amazing
that people I have just met feel the need to point out to me that I'm
so short. But my advice is don't retaliate - I did one night when I
was at a friend's birthday dinner and a friend of hers kept at me all
night. Finally, I just turned to him and told him he had a big nose
(which he did) and everyone was horrified that I could be so rude! I
can't help being my height, you can't help being your weight, and he
couldn't help having his big nose. You just have to realize that
we'll never understand what goes on inside others' minds, and at
least you're a better person for not feeling the need to put others
down.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1998
Nicole A., 26, Brisbane, Australia
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Answer simply by saying, "So nice of you to notice" and
smile. Don't let it ruin your day, just realize that some people are
socially retarded. Feel good about yourself. It's your life - don't
wait even one moment to live it to its fullest. I once heard someone
say, "I don't let anyone rent space in my head."
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Debbie, 34, white, Phelan, CA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD3: This question is for BJ Winchester, who responded to the
question (GD2) of whether college diversity courses have done their
job. I work with a program that is working to teach "Valuing
Individual Differences" to students in grades K through 12. What do
you suggest we do as program facilitators to increase our knowledge
base about white privilege, and is this appropriate to address with
students in a one-day workshop?
POSTED MARCH 20, 1998
Susan, Terre Haute, IN
ANSWER 1:
Thanks for the question. I am familiar with the program to
which you are referring. I suggest you read a book called "Why are
all the Black Kids sitting together in the Cafeteria?" by Dr. Beverly
Tatum. It talks about the fallacies of Affirmative Action, white
privilege and how it relates to the public school system. It breaks
every issue down into plain English and helps break through the
smoke-screens people throw up when talking about racism.
POSTED MARCH 25, 1998
BJ Winchester, Cultural Diversity Trainer
<bjwinchester@pmgnet.com>
Jacksonville, FL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD2: Have the diversity classes currently required in college
had any noticeable effect on reducing racism?
POSTED MARCH 11, 1998
N.C., Lawrence, KS
ANSWER 1:
I think some multicultural education classes have done the
job when they include two major things that are still not
requirements under the current public school system: The
acknowledgement of white privilege in America and the oneness of
humanity. Too often, these classes do more damage than good because
they teach the differences and don't expand on the oneness and the
history that has led to the power struggle of white superiority in
America. This is usually because the teachers (through no fault of
their own) don't have the support or knowledge on how to address the
feelings that result from such discussions.
POSTED MARCH 16, 1998
B.J. Winchester, 33, white, Cultural Diversity Trainer, Jacksonville,
FL
FURTHER NOTICE:
In college I was required to take a cultural diversity
class. It turned out to be a class about all the bad things whites
have done to blacks throughout history. I resented this because the
professor blamed all black problems on whites and I was paying for
it! In this case, the cultural diversity class did more harm than
good.
POSTED APRIL 3, 1998
P.B., white, male, Rochester Hills, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Having sat through several of these courses in college,
many of which were required, I can say they were a big pain in the
***. Not only are all problems characterized as the fault of white
males, but they're my personal fault, too. There was no
"discussion," only one big lecture about our problems. Also, it irked
me when college professors, whose children go to school for free,
would expound on how minorities should get more scholarship money
than whites. I couldn't help but remember that my tuition money was
paying for their kids' education. A lot of "us white folks" are poor,
too, and I can assure you that wealthy whites know us from them and
have no trouble reminding us. The diversity classes, in the end, made
me a much less tolerant person, and every day I have to remind myself
why I won't hate everyone: Whites, blacks, women, men, gays,
straights, Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc..
POSTED JULY 16, 1998
B., 22, straight white male, Kokomo, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I wonder why it is that I, as a white male, disagree with
the complaints of "white male-bashing" I hear so frequently these
days. I know I've got privileges as a white man that people of color
and women don't have. I recognize the extent to which the White Guys
in Charge will automatically give credence to what I say simply
because I'm "like them." I know history. Maybe it's because when the
White Guys in Charge find out I'm gay, all my privileges are
instantly revoked. I think you have to experience prejudice to really
understand it and recognize how pervasive it is. It embarrasses me to
death when white men whine about "our" victimization.
POSTED JULY 28, 1998
Max H.,.white male
<Maxisme@hotmail.com>,
Oakland, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Diversity classes are only as good as the instructor. It
appears to me that some of the instructors are minorities with
substantial unresolved issues around race, gender and economic class.
I attended one class in which the instructor said that he was glad
when he could get back to Oakland so that he could be in an all-black
community and not be around whites. This same instructor appeared to
want the whites to be in pain for all the hurts he ever felt in life.
At the same time he had no grasp of discrimination experienced by
women, gays or by those of lower economic position. (The instructor
claimed he was a black male raised in an integrated upper middle
class neighborhood. His race was actually half black and half Puerto
Rican but he did not accept his mother's Puerto Rican contribution to
his ethinicity.) If my only experience with diversity training was
this one class, I would probably feel a greater need to protect
myself from hatred targeted at me because my skin is white and I am a
female. I am thankful that I have also been involved in diversity
awareness situations where a true exchange of beliefs, perceptions
and experiences have happened in an environment of openness and
compassion for all the participants. As a result, I can start to
acknowledge my own biases and those of others (in all groups) with
greater compassion and understanding.
POSTED NOV. 19, 1998
F., 47, white female, Los Angeles , CA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Racial diversity/multicultural classes in college really
came across as a giant snow job to me. No one could ever ask a
question that reflected poorly on minorities (such as "Why do I see
gay people having sex in rest stops?") without getting yelled at and
put down. And yes, for the record I am gay and out, so please don't
pull the homophobia card on me. Questions about the academic
performance of African Americans were even more stridently attacked.
There was a lot of defensiveness, and I don't think people were
honest. I respected minorities a lot less afterward because their
behavior was bombastic, didactic,and most importantly evasive.
Frankly, the only way a minority group can win my respect is by
achieving something tangible.
POSTED DEC. 9, 1998
Will H., gay male, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I attended the University of Michigan a couple years ago.
A diversity education class was part of our orientation. Being a
young white male from a suburb of Detroit, I was no stranger to the
black culture, but being 18, I was pretty immature and naive. Another
girl in the class was black, and from another suburb of Detroit (if
memory serves me right). We ended up getting in a big discussion
(argument) about what our races have done to each other and who owes
who what. In retrospect, I find it amusing that two kids with no real
life experience were forced to argue one of this country's oldest
disputes. All I feel that was accomplished was the creation of two
bad attitudes, and mine stayed with me for quite a while. I think at
that age it would have been much smarter to organize a class that
promoted working together on various projects, instead of setting up
fights. I think adults too often play through children.
POSTED DEC. 15, 1998
24, white male, Detroit, Mi
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD1: Today in America, and for the last 10 years I have been
living here, race in America seems to have become a white vs. black
issue. Why and to what end are black and white people determined to
keep racial issues (racism, discrimination, etc) a white and black
issue? Do whites and blacks think they are more human (equal) than
all other races in America? I think the media is determined to keep
race in America a white vs. black issue, because it is easier to deal
with the black issue than with all other races living in this
country.
POSTED FEB. 26, 1998
Adolfo O., California
ANSWER 1:
Race continues to be a black and white issue in America
because of the history of slavery, which was primarily an issue
between whites and blacks. The answer to your question "..to what
end?": In spite of legal changes that include the abolishment of
slavery, the Civil Rights Act and Affrimative Action, some white
people continue to hold to the attitude that black people are
inferior and do not deserve rights and privileges as American
citizens. This attitude among some white people manifests in some way
in nearly every aspect of life in this country. This continuing
attitude and black people's reactions to it is what keeps race an
issue in America. I agree with you that the media (newspapers,
Hollywood, TV, etc.) adds fuel to this fire. I can only speak from a
black man's point of view and say that we do not see ourselves as
more human than any other race.
POSTED MARCH 15, 1998
Larry, Atlanta, GA
FURTHER NOTICE:
People like things to be simple. It's complicated to
spread our awareness over whites, blacks, Asians, Native Americans,
Hispanics . . . Each ethnicity has divisions within itself, and all
the sub-parts relate to and have feelings about all the other
sub-parts. People get a headache thinking about it all, so it's just
easier to conceive of the whole issue as a white/black dichotomy.
Also, I find a fair amount of competition for the position of
"Minority of Choice." Just as there is sometimes competition for
victim status ("My people have it worse than your people"), we also
seem to imagine that there's only so much tolerance to go around, and
if the other guys get any, there won't be any left over for us. Here
in Dallas there is often much nastiness between the black and
Hispanic leaders, as though making sure that Hispanic kids are
treated well in school will make it impossible for black children to
be treated well.
Of course it's no coincidence, I think, that this squabbling lets
the white majority sit back and watch the fight instead of making
changes.
POSTED MARCH 15, 1998
Will H., Dallas, Texas
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I've also wondered this, and this is the best theory I've
come up with: White people have treated people of all races badly,
but the last horaay for doing this was slavery as far as people seem
to be concerned, so this is where it all focuses.
Unfortunately, this is something that seems to have no end, as
long as we sit at home telling our children to "beware of him or
he'll give you no chance because of the color of his or your skin."
Bottom line: Whites are not the only prejudiced people and blacks
are not the only oppressed. People perhaps should worry less about
who's harmed them or offended them and worry more about moving
forward regardless.
POSTED MARCH 20, 1998
Tim, Alabama
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
People tend to forgo proplems that aren't their own. I am
a white American of Irish descent. People use terms everyday that are
"racial slurs" about the Irish. Paddy wagon and Mic are examples.
Once when I was about eight I saw a police car go by and mentioned to
my grandmother "there goes a paddy wagon." The lecture that ensued
bordered on a presidential inaugural speech. Ever since then, I tend
to feel a little bitter when I hear those phrases. Russian immigrants
are the most current victims of racial discrimination. Just look at
how the media portrays them. As far as the media is concerned, they
are all involved in the Russian mafia. What people tend to forget is
that we are not all alike. That is not to say that one race is
inferior to another. What I'm saying is we're all raised differently.
So we're all going to have different customs, beliefs and ideals. The
challenge comes in trying to understand if not at least respect,
people of different races.
MAY 4, 1998
Irish American, 27, male
<DMylott817@aol.com>,
Rutland, VT
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I think people need to stop thinking about the past (i.e.
slavery, etc.). Yes, mistakes have been made, and it needs to be
acknowledged, but to continue blaming one race for it is also wrong.
I was born after slavery and am too young to remember the civil
rights movement. But I am white and, therefore, people assume I
consider myself to be superior to other races. This is also a form of
racism. I don't think I'm superior to any race, and there are people
of different backgrounds that have it way better than I do. I will
not deny there are still white people who have this frame of mind;
however, if we continue to blame one race for the problems, it only
fosters resentment in the opposite race. I resent hearing comments
about the "white majority" and having them applied to me.
POSTED JUNE 13, 1998
Krystina, 23, white female, krystina@okicol.com, Columbus, OH
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Our media is now in a soundbite culture, therefore "black
vs. white" is easier to play upon. White-on-white hatred in Bosnia,
black-on-black hatred in Rwanda, the Crow hating the Cheyenne, the
Korean hating the Japanese, the Vietnamese hating the Chinese, what
Spanish/Indian (i.e. Latino) troops are doing to the native
population of Chiapas - these have nothing to do with either blacks
or whites. But Indians, Hispanics, Asians, etc. were never slaves
(tell that to the Chinese railroad worker who worked for a bowl of
rice every day, or the Irish indentured servant who had less legal
protection than the African) and there are demagogues who have an
interest in keeping something as complicated as slavery in everyone's
mind, and as long as demagoguery and simplistic nostrums are bandied
about, people will continue to feel resentment and slights because
its easier than examining complex issues.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
David Y.
<LttlGTO@aol.com>,
Oakland, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I have come to the conclusion that there never will be
unity among blacks and whites, no matter how hard we try.
I have raised my children to be nice and respectful, and without
prejudice. It didn't last long after they started public school. At
least once a month, my son, who is white, was targeted by a black boy
and assaulted. My son is very quiet and shy, and when I asked school
officials if they ever observed him provoking any of these incidents,
they informed my that my son was too shy to speak much at all.
My son made one friend, and he was black. He came to our house
often to play. Later, that kid was beat up for being a friend to my
son. My son says the black boys always say something about slavery
when they are harrassing him. My son did not make anybody a slave,
but he is sure having to pay for it. We are sorry that white people
stole black people from Africa, but it's not our fault today. Being
part Native American, I am very angry about what was done to the
Indians, but I'm not out harrassing every white person I run into.
We all have to try to get along. I know all blacks are not like
this and do not feel this way, but there are too many that do. I feel
that as long as this anger continues, I don't know how there will
ever be unity among blacks and whites. What is so sad about all of
this is that my son, who I tried to raise without prejudice, now
constantly tells me how he hates blacks. Nobody made him this way
except black people. It's really sad.
POSTED JAN. 27, 1999
J. Watson, Raleigh, NC
To respond
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