Race/Ethnicity
Questions 341-350
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THE
QUESTION:
R350: Why is it that when blacks move into a nice,
middle-class neighborhood where whites live, the whites slowly move
out? This is happening in my area, and I'd like to understand why,
because there hasn't been any crime or problems.
POSTED JUNE 18, 1998
T. Spen, African-American,
<auset2be@aol.com>,
MD
ANSWER 1:
A house is the largest single lifetime investment for the
majority of homeowners. It has been my experience that whites move
out of neighborhoods as minorities move in to protect their
investment (equity). This most often starts in anticipation of
declining property values, well before problems arise. Unfortunately,
such reactions most often become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and
property values do decline. It poses a moral dilemma for
well-intentioned whites, for to stay until property values actually
do decline is self-defeating.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
B. Kallsen, 55, white
<bkallsen@aol.com>,
Alameda, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
I live in an upper middle-class neighborhood with some
African Americans. Economics dictates that anyone living here has
financial means, and there is no discernible difference between the
races. Also, any observable racism would be a violation of community
standards and be looked down on. On the other hand, there is clear
discrimination against African Americans from the neighboring and
much poorer community of Grand Rapids. Police often stop African
Americans driving through town without discernible cause. Even our
kids see this and know it is wrong. We also know that the vast
majority of the crime in our community is by African American
non-residents. This is not conjecture. If anyone knows a solution to
this I would like to hear it. Most of my white neighbors are a pain,
but they are no trouble. I wouldn't live next to the families of the
kids who rob our homes and worse. Crime rates aren't all
propaganda.
POSTED SEPT. 23, 1998
White male, 50
<gduff48482@aol.com>,
Grand Rapids, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I am white and live in a mixed inner-city neighborhood. We
bought our house there because we could buy it for a lot less than if
we bought it in an all-white neighborhood. Since that time we have
been annoyed by black neighbors: Loud music, littering, speeding
cars, profanity, etc. We also have found guns in our neighborhood
that have been thrown out of cars running from the police. Blacks
have also failed to come to any neighborhood association meeting or
neighborhood social gathering where whites attend. The remaining
whites are childless couples, and, now that I have a child, I will
flee to the white suburbs, too. I definitely don't want him going to
the mostly black public schools, where babies of student moms get
their own page in the yearbook. I just want my son to learn better
values from his neighbors than that.
POSTED SEPT. 25, 1998
David, white, 33, Columbia, SC
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
B. Kallsen's response is right from one point of view, but
he failed to state why the property value would go down because a
black person would move into the neighborhood. The reason goes back
to racial hatred and not understanding someone who is different.
Basically fear of the unknown and predetermined ideas about race, for
instance that blacks are lazy, shiftless, non-caring wild animals.
These ideas are relayed and handed down through time from one family
member to another until after a while the prejudiced ideas seem
factual. Any person can destroy a neighborhood by not keeping their
property maintained. Everyone should be given a chance and not be
judged by someone else's preconceived notions.
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
E. White, 43, Afro-American, Fairless Hills, PA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R349: I've noticed that Korean females tend to snort instead
of blow their noses, even at restaurants. Has anyone else noticed
this, and if so, why is this?
POSTED JUNE 18, 1998
Neko, European male
ANSWER 1:
I seem to remember an episode of Seinfeld in which
George's father could've married a Korean woman, but refused to take
off his shoes when entering the would-be father-in-law's house
because he had bad foot odor. This started a big fight, and the two
broke up.
The snorting is more a cultural difference than anything. In the
past, politeness was one of the big things that sustained Koreans'
identities. In front of someone, especially old people, one couldn't
blow his nose. It was taken to be impolite behavior or even an insult
because the person could just go some other place and blow. Blowing
one's nose was thought to be a controllable thing. Snorting, on the
other hand, was acceptable if it didn't make a considerable noise.
The foot odor is a different story. Foot odor was taken to be an
uncontrollable thing. To Koreans, having bad foot odor isn't a big
deal. If you're invited to a Korean family's home and you have bad
odor, you just tell the host you want to wash your feet. It is not an
awkward thing in Korea. In fact, the host might give you a pair of
new socks if she/he senses odor.
Anyway, if you're seeing a Korean girl acting like that
(snorting), you are lucky, because I think Koreans are getting more
impolite every day from learning American cultural practices - though
a few well-bred girls do still do things like that (snorting). P.S.
I'm sorry if I'm exaggerating things.
POSTED OCT. 30, 1998
Sang P.
<parksa10@pilot.msu.edu>,
East Lansing, MI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R348: I work with a man from India. When he eats candy or
chips at our workplace, he always leaves just one item or a few chips
in the bag (these are foods we share with our co-workers). When I
asked him about it, he said his culture says it is customary to leave
something. As an American, I think it is rude to leave a few chips in
a bag for someone else. Is it true what he says?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Marilyn Y., Royal Oak, MI
ANSWER 1:
Customs with food are different in all cultures. In India,
it is considered polite to not take a whole sweet out of a purchased
sweet box, but only a piece. On the other hand, when you are at a
guest's house, it is the height of politeness to have numerous
helpings of food (and of every dish), thus praising the host's
cooking skills. Loud burping sometimes is OK, too! On the other hand,
in China, you will offend your host if you eat too much food (you
will be metaphorically eating your host out of house and home). So in
China you only eat three quarters of your dish. Eating everything is
a sign to your host to refill your dish - bad form. Having eaten in a
lot of strange places, all I can say is, "Is the food great? Buon
appetito."
POSTED SEPT. 7, 1998
Ashok, Indian
<ashok@earthlink.net>,
Palo Alto, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
I know of no such custom. He must be part of a secret cult
or something.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Amit, Indian
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I've been among some Asian cultures due to travel and
work. If at someone's house, leaving a little bit means two things: A
signal that you are done because you have been given just too
goshdarn much by your generous host!
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Jesse R., Brooklyn, NY
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R347: It's been my observation when I'm driving that when
another car approaches from a side street, parking lot, etc., and
sticks its nose too far into the road before stopping, that it is
almost always a black person driving. Have others observed this, and
if so, why is this?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Mike D., 35, white male, Greensboro, N.C.
ANSWER 1:
I live in Greensboro, and it seems that drivers of all
races have less regard for traffic safety and courtesy. On the
northwest side of town, I have to dodge large cars sticking out in
the road that happen to be driven by white people, many of whom are
too busy talking on their car phones to care. But I attribute this to
rudeness, not to a particular race.
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
James S., 36, African American, Greensboro, NC
FURTHER NOTICE:
I've noticed there are about equal numbers of black and
white drivers who do that. Poor driving habits cross most
barriers.
POSTED AUG. 21, 1998
Sid, 40, white, Newport News, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I'm not too far from you Mike, in Rocky Mount, N.C., and
at least here my experience does not support the generalization. When
riding with friends, I've drawn a direct correlation between stress
levels and all forms of competitive driving.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Al, white
<alarose@ncwc.edu>, Rocky
Mount, NC
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I had to laugh when I read the question, because in my
experience the offending driver is almost always white! It probably
depends on the ethnic makeup of the areas where you drive.
POSTED SEPT. 23, 1998
W. Lotus, dark-skinned American
<wlotus@dreamscape.com>,
Syracuse, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
This "problem" could depend on where you live. Here in
Alabama, I have seen mostly white people who do this.
POSTED NOV. 10, 1998
Genevieve V., 20, Mexican, Troy, AL
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Mike, either you live in a community experiencing a
strange phenomenon of coincidence, or your perception is following
the lead of your subconscious (for fear of sounding rude, I will
leave you to assume the implication of the latter option). I have
lived and driven in most parts of a major metropolitan area for half
of my young life, one replete with all races, ethnicities and
economic backgrounds, and I have noticed that bad driving manners are
not endemic to any specific group.
POSTED NOV. 19, 1998
Samuel H., 30, African-American male
<samalex67@aol.com>,
Chicago, Il
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Is is possible that you have singled out the instances
where this has happened and it is a black person? As thinking beings,
we try to arrange our thoughts in a justifiable, logical way, and one
of these ways is to categorize. It is quite possible that you have
just not noticed the Hispanic lady, or the white teenager, who stuck
the nose of his/her car out, but have noticed three or four black
people who have, thereby categorizing this as: "All/most black people
do this." Before I was really old enough to understand such
misconceptions, I would find myself doing this same thing. By the
way, I have seen people of all ethinic groups do this, even some guy
who looked a little green (must have been the restaurant's food).
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Kris, 23, female, Columbus, OH
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R346: Why do many whites believe all blacks come from the
ghetto? And what exactly is the "ghetto"?
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Wanda, black, Detroit, MI
ANSWER 1:
Not all whites believe that. "Ghetto" is a word used to
describe any area that is low-class, typically the poorest of the
poor within an urban area. Historically, the emergence of "black"
ghettos is very recent. Not too long ago, European immigrants were
forced into ghettos throughout the country. Many died of starvation
and lack of safe living space. Before that, in Europe, any group that
was oppressed was generally forced into the same kind of living
conditions.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
John K., straight Irish-American male, 24
<jkeegan@bellatlantic.net>,
Cranford , NJ
FURTHER NOTICE:
The word "ghetto" originates from Italy - it was where the
Jewish metal workers had to live. The neighborhoods were poor, the
housing inadequate and the experience of visiting there left an
impression on people. So basically, a ghetto is a poor neighborhood.
Secondly, not all white people think all black people come from the
ghetto. Thanks to the Hollywood-promoted idea that black
neighborhoods are poorer than white neighborhoods, some people may
believe all black people come from basketball-playing, dirt-poor
areas. I would like to point out that anyone who automatically
assumes this is ignorant, and you shouldn't be paying attention to
what they think, anyway.
POSTED JULY 15, 1998
Jason C., 16, white male
<stoical16m@aol.com>,
Houston , TX
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I don't know that all whites believe all blacks come from
the ghetto. But to answer the second part of the question, the word
"ghetto" comes from Venetian. The people of Venice referred to the
neighborhoods where immigrants and traders settled as the ghettos. It
was during Venice's heydays of prosperous trade with the rest of the
world that the word came about. No matter how rich an immigrant or
non-Venetian trader might have been, it was rare that the lowest
Venetian would not be wealthier. So the ghettos were considered
places of poverty for populations that were not assimilated.
POSTED JULY 15, 1998
thsmith, 28, white, Los Angeles, CA
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R345: I'm an astronomer and give planetarium shows with star
legends from around the world that I've learned from books and other
white astronomers. I've read that some Native American cultures view
stories as I do physical property - telling them without permission
would be stealing. Would I steal by using the stories? It feels worse
to exclude the stories and, thus, First Nation cultures.
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Joann B., 45
<jballbach@sprintmail.com>,
Canton, OH
ANSWER 1:
I'm an astronomer myself. Concerning the use of mythology
in your presentations: I have done the same thing at Lawrence
Berkeley Labs science center. I incorporated all the mythos into the
discussion. It is easily done and makes for a very interesting
discussion. I believe it sheds insight on how different peoples see
themselves and their place in the universe. I enjoy the Arabic and
Egyptian sky mythos. They both have a very deep spiritual "sexiness"
to them. Just incorporate a little of all of them into your
discussion and you will astound and amaze your audience.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Jonathan D., 31, black
<blackfu2@aol.com>, San
Francisco, CA
FURTHER NOTICE:
There are many Native American astronomy stories that have
been released for general use. However, if using the stories of a
particular Native American Nation (i.e. a Seneca or other Iroquois
story), it's a good idea to contact the tribal leaders to at least
secure informal permission. Most tribes are flattered that other
races (especially whites) are interested in hearing their stories.
For a real treat, invite a tribal storyteller to come and tell the
story himself. (It's advisable to pay for transportation and lodging,
of course, as with any special guest.) Your patrons will never forget
the event.
POSTED DEC. 28, 1998
John, 30, white (with some Cherokee ancestry), amateur astronomer,
<kb2izy@netsync.net>,
Jamestown, NY
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R344: To people of interracial marriages, especially
black/white: Has it been difficult for you when socializing with your
mate's group of friends? Do you feel just as comfortable with people
of your color as you do with people of your mate's color? My daughter
is dating black men, and I am afraid. I've only heard bad reports
(not about the men, but about interracial marriages). Let me hear
some good ones, from people who've been married five or more
years.
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Joan, Seattle, WA
ANSWER 1:
I am a black male married for 13 years to a white female.
We have not experienced difficulties from either side. When we got
married, we encountered stares from some of those around us, but
never any abuse. We have traveled in the Midwest and South, where I
am from. We also have five children of various racial backgrounds. I
hope this calms some of your fears.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Albert T., Hartsville, IN
FURTHER NOTICE:
I am not married but have been in interracial relationships. I feel
it is more "accepted" for a white girl to date/marry a black man than
vice versa. I am a black woman who has dated white men, and I have
come to the conclusion that I am not strong enough to go through my
whole life having people stare me down and stereotype me because I am
with someone out of my race. If your daughter feels she is strong
enough to handle the relationship, then let her be. I think you
should make sure she understands what she is getting into. I know
from personal experience that for me to marry a white man would make
a very difficult life for me and possibly for my children, and I am
not sure I want to put my kids through that.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
M.B., 17, black female, Kansas City, MO
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I've been in an interracial relationship for 20 years. For social
situations, relating to people of different backgrounds really isn't
difficult, because they're alL people - we all have common
experiences we can draw on. If your daughter isn't uncomfortable, why
should you be?
POSTED JULY 16, 1998
Alex, 39, white
<aleavens@mindspring.com>,
Lawrenceville, GA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I am an Australian white female married to a Japanese male. We've
been together only three years but I've read a bit on the subject of
interracial/cultural marriages. I would say these relationships are
more difficult but more enriching than others. I think the ability to
fit in with one's spouse's friends and family depends on the
individual's personality. I believe it takes strong, self-assured,
confident people to make a secure, successful interracial/cultural
partnership.
POSTED JULY 20, 1998
Gill O., 29, white female
<gillonosaka@hotmail.com>,
Japan
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I am a black female married for four years to a white man. Luckily we
have open-minded friends and family on both sides. We get the
occasional stares from strangers, but I honestly don't think an
interracial relationship is that much of a issue with most people.
You will always hear the worst of any situation before the best. A
black friend is also married to a white man (five years), and we
discuss our relationships all the time. She, too, has never
experienced any problems.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
K. Fletch, black
<denene@my-dejanews.com>,
Alexandria, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I am the child of a white woman and an Arab-American man. The most
difficult part of being mixed-race for me has been dealing with my
mother's parents' racist comments about my father through my entire
life. Their racism has alienated me from my mother's family. In
general, being bicultural has been a source of strength and joy for
me, and I would encourage you to support your daughter and any
children she might have, and not alienate them through your
discomfort with their father. I'd also like to point out that my
mother's parents believed that my father would not make as good a
husband as a white man. Out of my mother's five brothers and sisters,
all three of those who married white people are divorced. Only my
mother and her sister, who married a Latino man, never got
divorced.
POSTED AUG. 5, 1998
N.A., 27, Arab American
<nadyalec@erols.com>,
Washington, DC
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I'm a white, 43-year-old woman who has been in a very happy
relationship with my husband, who happens to be black, for more than
20 years. I've always considered it a bonus life to become as
comfortable with the black culture as with my own through my
husband's family and friends. I believe that for a lot of interracial
couples, however, both partners come into the relationship having
already experienced friendship with people of both races. So it's
wonderful to meet new friends, period. Black vs. white just isn't an
issue. I know my mom shared your fears when my husband and I were
starting out, but I think it was based more on her lack of experience
with black culture (and her love for me) than in the reality of the
situation. Maybe yours is, too. Your daughter and I are lucky to have
loving moms. Thanks for reaching out for the positives.
POSTED AUG. 7, 1998
Susie M., 43
<mcgreens@fairfieldi.com>,
Lancaster , OH
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
You mention your daughter is dating black men. If she dates only
black men, she has a bigger and more significant problem than being
in an interracial relationship.
POSTED AUG. 21, 1998
Sylvia W., African American
<swelch@pcc.edu>, Portland,
OR
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
My brother is married to a black woman and my whole family loves her
dearly. I've talked to my brother and sister-in-law and asked them
about this very subject. They have said that they would be able to
find discriminatory behavior against them; however, they have come to
accept that it is "out there" and choose to ignore it. Your daughter
will have to decide whether she is strong enough to deal with
rude/hateful behavior. Most of all, she will need your support and
love - provided the man she is dating is a wonderful, supporting,
loving husband.
POSTED NOV. 10, 1998
Mary K., 34, white female, MI
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R343: I am the white mother of an adopted black son. My
husband is white and Latino. We live in a university town that is
predominantly white but ethnically diverse. I'd like to know from
black people what I can do to make sure my son grows proud of being
black, and how to help him be a black male in a white-dominated
country.
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
Jacki T., 37, white
<lepican@baka.com>,
Ithaca, NY
ANSWER 1:
By all means have your son read Nile Valley
Contributions To Civilization by Anthony T. Browder, which will
spark his mind into researching from where and whom he came. For
instance, there are a couple of things you could ask him to research
and try to find the correct answers for, such as: Where did the
Christmas tree originate? It's not from Germany as you might believe.
Or: Why do people say "amen" at the end of a prayer? Also, ask him to
read about "Osiris, Isis and Horus."
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Jon, 36, black male
<jonaye115@aol.com>,
VA
FURTHER NOTICE:
Be sure to show your son good examples of people like him.
I have role models of all races and ages. And surround him with
positive music, history, movies, books and events. Take him to the
festivals and events that occur in Black History Month. And find
someone of whom you both can ask questions, such as a minister. Good
luck!
POSTED SEPT. 10, 1998
Rae, 21, African American
<xfilesgal@aol.com>,
Norfolk, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
One of the best things you can do for your son is to teach
him history. Make sure he is aware that his history is linked to
world history. Let him know that ancient Egypt was a black/African
civilization. Show him pictures of the Sphinx and Pyramids. Inform
him that a people called the Moors (which meant black) dominated and
influenced Spain for 900 years. And that around 1790 18 percent of
the Spanish population of California was of African ancestry. Make
sure that he is aware of how he is not an isolated being or race, but
that who he represents is an integral, important part of the whole of
civilization. This also will link him to his parents by more than
just the adoption process.
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
G.T.C. <iokts@erols.com>,
Takoma Park , MD
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R342: Of all the different European ethnic groups, why do the
Irish tend to marry so late in life? I have never seen a married
Irish couple in their twenties. Even JFK and his son married
late.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
David Y., European-American
<LttlGTO@aol.com>,
Oakland, CA
ANSWER 1:
I am 20 and my husband is 23. We both have a great deal of
Irish in us. Also, my cousin, who is in his twenties, just returned
from Ireland with his fiance, who is also in her twenties.
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
C. Blackwell
<gypsy@kreative.net>,
Alexandria, VA
FURTHER NOTICE:
This phenomenon goes back to one of the most dramatic
shifts in family patterns in history. Prior to the time of the Potato
Famine, the Irish peasantry had a pattern of marrying young and
having very large families. In the (relative) peace enforced by the
British in the 18th and early 19th centuries, the population of
Ireland doubled and redoubled. The potato produces more calories per
acre than any other food, which allowed a large population to
develop, although it became more and more dependent on the annual
potato crop. When the crops failed in the mid-1840s, there was great
suffering and loss of life. Apparently, the immense suffering of this
period caused the Irish peasants to change their marriage patterns.
Most women would not marry a man until he had a farm or some other
independent source of livelihood. In many cases, this was not until
the son inherited the family farm in his 40s, and he would then often
marry a woman in her 30s. The net effect was a much slower rate of
population increase than prior to the Famine. These cultural patterns
often continue long after the need for them has vanished.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
T. Douglas, 52, white male, Jacksonville, FL
To respond
BACK TO TOP
THE QUESTION:
R341: Why is it that a large number of high school-aged white
girls seem so interested in dating black boys? And not just black
boys, but the homeboy-type, who don't seem to know how to behave
properly or treat girls the way they should be treated.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
Dave, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
ANSWER 1:
White, high school-aged girls date black males and the
"homeboy" type because they (the girls) have low self-esteem. These
girls feel they are not wanted by decent, respectable men. This is
not to say all black men are not capable of treating women correctly.
However, it is quite easy to see how girls have low self-esteem with
the way women are portrayed: Waif-thin, tall, perfect skin and
hair.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Katey, 18, white female, MI
FURTHER NOTICE:
I don't think it's because the girls have low self-esteem,
and in my experience homie guys tend to be more stereotypically
romantic in dealing with girls. Lots of gifts, money, etc., and just
general sweetness when it comes to girls. Now I don't know what their
motives are and whether this is sexist, but this is what I've seen. I
would not go out with a homie, just because I don't agree with the
culture, but I would date someone of any race, and I am currently
dating an Asian Australian. If a girl is attracted by a culture, be
it homie or otherwise, and likes a boy, be he white, black or
otherwise, she will go out with that person.
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Frances S., 16, white
<novacaine@rocketmail.com>,
Sydney, Australia
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Dave and Katey are treading on dangerously thin ideology.
I disagree it is exclusively a self-esteem issue. It's too easy to
always paint white women as the victims of some brutish black males.
Those girls are doing what teenagers do best: Follow trends. Hip Hop
is the definitive culture for many of us under 30. In fact, the
"homeboy" look and attitude (baggy clothes, sneakers or boots, etc.)
is so pervasive now that it can't really be attributed to any one
group of people. And it's not just black teenagers who are behaving
horribly these days. White teenagers have some serious problems as
well. Is it not just as offensive for a white girl to date a white
boy who is treating her badly?
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Denise, 27, black, Bronx, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
My observation of my kids' high school is that the girls
think the black boys are more "hip" because of their clothes, music,
cars, slang and special style. To some of the girls, the white boys
seem nerdy. It doesn't seem to be a self-esteem issue, but more a
desire to hang out with the coolest kids.
POSTED JULY 26, 1998
Sara S., black female, Oakland, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Teenagers by nature are rebellious; interracial dating in
this day and time is still quite controversial, an easy and very
visually shocking way to rebel. Black males are also perceived by
many to have superior sexual prowess, and teenagers are attracted to
that idea.
POSTED AUG. 13, 1998
Tricia T., 25, Richmond, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I think it a little unfair to say all white girls who are
interested in black boys are people of low self-esteem. I was in high
school in the mid-'60s, and I don't think human nature has changed. I
found that a lot of girls were attracted by boys who were considered
"dangerous." I found during my own pursuit of the opposite sex that
my leather jacket, t-shirt, boots and reputation as an outlaw was a
definite plus. In fact, having the girl's parents like me was the
kiss of death. I think adolescent girls and boys tend to be a little
rebellous during that time of their lives. Most of us survive and
embrace values near to our parents as we mature.
POSTED AUG. 28, 1998
John B., 48, white male
<belcherj@inreach.com>,
Pixley, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I think the girls are dating the "homeboy" type you
describe not because of low self-esteem, but for the same reason some
girls in the '60s dated "those hippies" with long hair, and girls in
the '50s were criticized for dating "greasers" with slicked-back hair
and motorcycles. It is something different and somewhat exciting. It
is something out of the ordinary. I'm not sure how many "homeboys"
you have in the area where you live, but maybe that's enough to make
them want to get to know them. Then again, it could be because
they're more fun to be around. Maybe you should ask one of the girls.
But phrase it in the least offensive way.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Ken G., 30 African American
<KennyG9@yahoo.com>,
Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I disagree that white, high school-aged girls date black
or homeboy (whatever that means) type boys because of a lack of
self-esteem. I am African American, and white girls I know who date
black boys are usually people who see personality rather than skin
color.
POSTED SEPT. 22, 1998
E. Williams, 19, African American, Houston, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I don't think that the girls having low self-esteem is
always true. So what you're saying is that if a white girl dates a
black man it must be because she has low self-esteem. Not because she
could just happen to love or be interested in him. I think that it is
curiosity, and it's the in thing to do. Some girls may think it makes
them look cool or hip to be with a black man.
POSTED OCT. 8, 1998
Carmela, 32, female
<carmsjoy@swbell.net>,
Kansas City, MO
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
I think this is just a trend right now - look at the NBA,
the NFL, rap and many other music videos. Who do you see? The
"homey." Unfortunately, many times "homeys" don't know how to treat
another human being with respect - female or male (not everybody, but
many times this is so). And by the way, Frances, lots of gifts and
money and "general sweetness" does not make a good mate.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Mel B., 27, black female, Detroit , MI
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