Best of the Week
of Jan. 12, 2003
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Jan. 12, 2003, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries
from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database
using the search form or, in the case of
answers posted before April 24, 1999, in
the Original Archives (all
questions from the Original Archives have been entered into
the database as well). In the Original Archives, as well as in the
database, you will find questions that have received answers, as well
as questions still awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer
any questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to
ask any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not
necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic
group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual
from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop
at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book on Y? is
here!
"Why Do White People Smell
Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the Associated Press story
on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
I am a 16-year-old homosexual male dating a man who is 25. I
haven't told anyone, but it has come to my attention that this could
be viewed as illegal. Is there any rule preventing me from being with
him?
POSTED 1/14/2003
Danny, San Francisco, CA, United States, 16, Male, Gay, Mesg ID
1142003100922
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Question:
Why do women dress and make themselves up more elaborately than
men?
POSTED 1/13/2003
Mario, Spokane, WA, United States, Male, Mesg ID
1132003100151
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Question:
Why are white girls always dancing with other white girls and
huggin' them and kissin' them on the lips and stuff? Also, why are so
many white girls lesbians?
POSTED 1/13/2003
Kym, Baltimore, MD, United States, 13, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, student, Less than High School
Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 113200364156
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Question:
Why do people of the Jewish faith identify themselves primarily
as Jewish? For example, I am of the Baptist faith but identify myself
as an American of Italian descent.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Shirl, Tallahassee, FL, United States, Female, Mesg ID
1102003113236
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Question:
Careful studies indicate there is a huge gap in intelligence between
sub-Saharan Africans and Europeans (25 or so IQ points on average),
with Europeans being smarter, and a small gap between Europeans and
Northeast Asians (about 2 IQ points on average), with Northeast
Asians being smarter. But when differences, especially differences
that cast whites in a favorable light, are mentioned, whites panic
and act guilty for being the beneficiaries of thousands of years of
evolutiuon. I consider myself a proud white man, but I am also
objective. Northeast Asians are slightly smarter than us, but it is
very likely that the 100 or so smartest men ever to live were/are
white (basically there are a few really smart whites, lots of smart
whites, lots of whites of mediocre intelligence and lots of really
stupid whites, such that the white average IQ comes in just lower
than the Northeast Asian average IQ, even though the smartest men
ever to live were probably white). The irony is that non-whites seem
very open to talk about these racial differences. Some blacks
acknowledge that their race is on average less intelligent than the
white race (there are of course black supremacist loonies who think
the ancient Egyptians were black, and thus that blacks are the master
race). Why are white people so much more susceptible to political
correctness?
POSTED 1/12/2003
Von B., Madison, WI, United States, 24, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Research Assistant, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 111200320920
Responses:
I think you have to take into consideration who produced these
'careful studies.' If they are created by white Westerners who have
come up with IQ tests based on their knowledge and ideas of
intellect, then I think the process of evaluating intellect through
IQ tests imposes 'white' understandings and acceptances of what
defines intelligence on other societies. Maybe these studies take
this into consideration, but I thought I'd raise the point, anyway.
POSTED 1/13/2003
K.B., Edin, NA, United Kingdom, Female, Mesg ID 113200350634
How do you know that most whites ignore these differences? Maybe
it's just not as important to others as it is to you. I feel that you
should get a life and stop worrying about other ethnicities.
Obviously, you are envious of other ethnicites; that's why you notice
these differences.
POSTED 1/13/2003
MarronBella, Anniston, AL, United States, 24, Female,
Black/African American, Customer Service, Over 4 Years of College,
Lower class, Mesg ID 1132003121934
It sounds as though you're looking for a fight, but I'll answer
anyway. Throughout history, whites (and any other conquering race)
have used supposed intellectual differences as the prime explanation
for their deeds. White people are the most guilty over their history.
Many other countries do not even teach the darker sides of their
history, while American history focuses intensely on the missteps.
Hence, whites are very ashamed of their history and do not want much
of a connection to it. Examing possible differences in average
intelligence feels like familiar territory in this regard.
POSTED 1/13/2003
Seamus, Charlestown, MA, United States, 23, Male, Construction,
Lower class, Mesg ID 1132003123520
Two points: 1) Who is white and who is not? I bet you will fail to
classify half of my town! How do you you classify Latinos, or
Eurasians, or half-Congolese half-Japanese people? I would like to
know how people managed to sample people based on race for an IQ
test. Is that even possible? Are you talking about race or geography?
2) What's an IQ test? What does it measure? It measures your ability
to know whether the next drawing is a square inside a circle or a
circle inside a square. Big deal. Sure, Europeans have invented a lot
of nice stuff, but they also discovered such niceties as smog, global
warming, the nuke, bio weapons, Auschwitz, etc. And that brings us to
Sub-Saharan Africa. I haven't heard mother nature complaining about
the bushmen of South Africa. People are not automatically stupid just
because they know how to live in balance with nature. I would like
someone to dig out this statistic: How many species were made extinct
by white folk, and how many by black Africans (you can win this one
with Australia alone).
POSTED 1/13/2003
Karim, Cairo, NA, Egypt, 23, Male, Muslim, Arab, University T.A.,
Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 113200353247
I'm not sure what your point is. I'm not aware of any testing that
'proves' that any race is smarter than another. There are definitely
cultural differences in the value and pursuit of education, such as
Asian and European (esp. Jewish) culture, which place greater
emphasis on education than African American and Hispanic cultures -
but this doesn't mean anyone is any more or less intelligent. Rather,
they score higher on IQ tests or SATs as a result of hard work and
focus.
POSTED 1/14/2003
Jay, New York, NY, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Over 4
Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 1142003104948
IQ tests are a pretty flawed way of testing IQ. Tests show the
average IQ of an American has risen over the past century, far too
brief a time for evolution to have any effect. Even the 'thousands of
years' you quote is a blip as far as our genes are concerned. More
likely is that IQ tests are affected by education. Someone brought up
in the West is also more likely to do well. Most of what you write is
unsubstantiated supposition. 'It is very likely that the 100 or so
smartest men ever to live were/are white.' Where on earth did you get
that from? And no smart white women then, eh? I'm not sure you're
quite as objective as you think you are.
POSTED 1/14/2003
Andrew R., Wolverhampton, NA, United Kingdom,
<ac@wlv.ac.uk>, 27, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian, Straight,
Student, Middle class, Mesg ID 1142003114212
Intelligence tests usually work on a cultural basis. If you can
truly factor that out, I don't think one race is more intelligent
than another. Having said that, unless you have asked millions of
people your question, you have yourself made a racist remark.
Canadian, American, Russian, French, British, Spanish and Ukrainian
are just a smattering of people you need to talk to before making any
conclusions.
POSTED 1/14/2003
Ronald V., Edmonton, Alberta, NA, Canada, Male, Mesg ID
114200333439
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Question:
I was wondering if nurses, doctors or morticians have ever had
strange experiences when working with people who are dying/dead, such
as ghosts, something strange the person said, any suggestion of life
after death, etc.
POSTED 10/25/2001
Craig, Minneapolis, MN, United States, 38, Male, Gay, Mesg ID
10232001112451
Responses:
I'm a nurse, and there's a phenomenon called "angular movement."
Sometimes immediately after death a person may open his eyes or even
sit up. It's caused by involuntary muscle contraction, but boy is it
scary!
POSTED 1/12/2003
Lynn H., Louisville, KY, United States, Female, Mesg ID
112200313627
I am a registered nurse and have worked extensively with people who
are dying. I was sitting with a dying man in the middle of the night
with only a night light on in the corner. He suddenly became very
alert and said the room had gotten so bright so quickly and could I
please turn the lights down a little. A little later, he looked
toward the door and said, 'Come on in!' He was never able to tell me
what or who he saw at the door. A couple hours later, he died. I've
also had patients who have told me in the morning that 'Today is the
day' and they do die that day. Sometimes people get a tremendous
burst of energy a day or two before they die, giving their families a
false sense that they are getting better. I don't really have an
opinion about life after death, but I like to believe that our
deceased loved ones are all around us, helping us get through life.
This will sound very strange, but I do get some personal satisfaction
and fulfillment from being with people when they die. I enjoy making
their last hours as comfortable as possible for them and their
families. To be with someone when you are the only thing connecting
them to this world and the next, whatever it may be, is truly awesome
to me.
POSTED 1/12/2003
D.L., Benson, MN, United States, 31, Female, Lutheran,
White/Caucasian, Straight, RN, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg
ID 220200271755
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Question:
Why does it seem like every other country in the world hates
Americans? Are we really all that horrible? I see this especially in
the Middle East and some places in Asia. I've also heard of France
really hating us. Why? Anyone who lives in America knows that most of
us aren't as bad as everyone else makes us out to be.
POSTED 1/12/2003
S.T., Anderson, SC, United States, <manga_alien@hotmail.com>,
15, Female, Agnostic, White/Caucasian, Straight, Less than High
School Diploma, Mesg ID 112200311304
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Question:
My friends are always giving a dollar or two to the homeless
person on the corner, and they think I'm stingy because I refuse to.
I feel that Americans have plenty of opportunity to make something of
themselves, and that these people are homeless or poor by choice. I
work hard for every dollar I earn, and I give my time and money to
the charities I feel deserve it. Why are the poor poor and the
homeless homeless? Am I stingy?
POSTED 10/27/2002
Tiffany, Spokane, WA, United States, 25, Female, Baptist, American
Indian/Caucasian, Straight, Military, 2 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 10222002115137
Responses:
In Grand Rapids we see many 'regulars.' Some are con artists who
act poor and have a slick story. One black guy has asked me over nine
times in 10 years for money so he can visit his sick sister - he
always claims he's a stranger in town. I just remind him that
I’ve heard it before. There are mentally unbalanced people. An
elderly Asian man tells people he’s Jackie O. For some, being
homeless is easier. My boss helped a guy - got him an apartment,
bought some clothes - then found out he had more than $20,000 a year
in pension money coming. Six months later we saw him on the street.
But the majority are truly in need and want out of their
circumstances. The truth is, the homeless people you see are a
fraction of the total amount. What do I do? Donate money to shelters
and charitable groups.
POSTED 1/12/2003
George, Grand Rapids, MI, United States, 34, Male, White/Caucasian,
Professor, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
111200333822
I used to very generous to the homeless and handicapped people
panhandling on the streets, until one night coming out of a theater I
gave some guy $20. My companion and I went to get our vehicle and
drove to a very posh restauant just down the way - and surprise of
surprises, who should we see but the same guy we had just given money
to. There is no way he could have walked to this restaurant in the
short time it took us to drive there, and even if it were possible,
if he truly were living on the street there would be no way he could
have afforded to dine there (a typical dinner for two costs close to
$100). After having been ripped off by this man, I am unable to give
money to anyone on the street since. I know he most likely is the
exception rather than the rule, but it has just left a bad taste in
my mouth.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Freeda R., Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada,
<thegreatgazoo@mail2alien.com>, 29, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, I choose not to work, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 111200394539
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Question:
Why does it seem that white people usually have thin lips and flat
butts?
POSTED 1/12/2003
Curious George, Atlanta, GA, United States, Male, Mesg ID
112200313353
Responses:
Probably the same reason why most black people have fuller lips
and rounder rumps: genetics. Until recently, having a 'booty' was
frowned upon. Thank you, J.Lo.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Rayne-beau, milwaukee, WI, United States,
<CHIMPMUNKCHEEKSS@HOTMAIL.COM>, 19, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, STUDENT, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg
ID 1122003101550
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Question:
Why do black people talk so loud? Here in Florida they are very loud
in talking to each other or in any situation. I have heard some drive
by my office, and I can hear their conversation from their car. Is it
just here, or is this true everywhere?
POSTED 1/12/2003
L. Walker, Bartow, FL, United States, 39, Female, Pentecostal,
White/Caucasian, Straight, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
112200382224
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Question:
This is for any American: I'm a Mexican living in Mexico City.
Not long after the terrorist attacks, I had a business meeting in
Atlanta. This trip turned out to be the most traumatic experience of
my life. I was walking in a mall when a group of men mistook me for
an Arab. They started to yell and abuse me in the most profane
language they knew. I just walked away without responding. I never
expected this of the American people. Is American society just flat
ignorant or racist? Can anyone enlighten me?
POSTED 11/30/2001
Omar G., Mexico City, NA, Mexico, Male, Catholic, Hispanic/Latino
(may be any race), Over 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg
ID 1129200125558
Responses:
First, I am sorry you experienced such vileness. Unfortunately, it
is a fact of life in this country to varying degrees. I believe the
United States has not come to peace with it's 'isms' (racism, sexism)
or prejudices (homophobia, xenophobia). We just haven't been as
blatant and open with them as, say, back in the Civil Rights era.
They are still here, riding on the edge of the subconscious, and in
light of the terrorist attacks, these subconscious
ideas/thoughts/feelings are returning to the spotlight. Still, not
all Americans are racist, but by the actions of a few we could
certainly be described as 'ignorant' - as could many others in the
world, regardless of country of origin.
POSTED 1/12/2003
A. Adams, Los Angeles, CA, United States, Over 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 1130200183439
Americans hate Middle-Eastern people because of what they did to our
country. Don't blame us for feeling resentment.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Matt, Janesville, WI, United States, Male, Mesg ID 59200275359v
Unfortunately, America and Americans were still reeling from the
shock of 9/11 at the time you happened to be visiting Atlanta. While
Georgia hasn't necessarily been touted as the most tolerant state in
the union, I don't think you would have experienced the same if you
had been there prior to the attacks on the World Trade Center. None
of this is offered as an excuse for what people did or said to you,
and yes, sadly, some Americans are very ignorant and racist. I hope
that you visit again someday and are able to experience the warmth,
acceptance and friendliness that is also very American.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Kalpana, San Francisco, CA, United States, 24, Female, 4 Years of
College, Middle class, Mesg ID 592002125004
I think many Americans and Latinos are racist and ignorant. I wasn't
surprised that those racist Americans from Atlanta couldn't tell the
difference between a Mexican and an Arab, because I have lived here
for a long time. I immigrated to America when I was 11 and was
shocked that many multirracial people - and even those who could pass
for white - were considered 'black,' because where I come from
(Europe), they would be 'mixed ' or 'mulato.' Americans have
discriminated against me more than Europeans have. I went to
Switzerland a few years ago and was treated like a beautiful 'queen'
for being a brown-skinned Indonesian, Hawaiian, African, Latina (the
list goes on ) woman. I was beautiful in the eyes of European men
because i wasn't 'white.' In America, I am looked at as an inferior,
foreign and not good enough for a man to take to see the family,
because I am not a blond-haired, blue-eyed white female. My Dutch
boyfriend told me to move to the Netherlands because they don't focus
on race as much as Americans, and some Dutch men are married to
brown-skinned women.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Strella G., Norman, OK, United States, 26, Female, Hispanic/Latino
(may be any race), Straight, student, Mesg ID 63200261853
I am a Muslim convert to Islam and wear the scarf on my head. I was
born and raised in the South and am confused with being an Afghan or
Arab. Omar, don't care what people think. Be proud to be tan-skinned.
If those people yell at you, just say you are a proud Hispanic.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Jenna, Savannah, GA, United States, 22, Female, Muslim,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Upper middle
class, Mesg ID 65200282520
Most Americans are racist. I know that statement is going to get me a
lot of flack, but that's the way I see it. Almost every person I've
met in the States had some people/culture/religion/race they couldn't
abide by. Even the best people I've met, the type who'd give you the
shirt off their back, have felt 'blacks' were dangerous, or Asians
suspicious, or Mid-Easterners violent. What makes their racism
so subtle is that they hide it behind an excuse. 'Well, their people
are terrorists,' or 'Their religion doesn't approve of me' or 'They
don't treat their women well' or 'They're communists.' It's as if the
entire American social consciousness is built on a huge double
standard. You cannot say that statistically speaking, the majority of
America's criminals are black, or else you'll be shouted down as a
racist. However, if you feel like saying that we should bomb the hell
out of Afghanistan, and their people, too because it's their fault
they had the Taliban to begin with', then you're a patriot. You can
rant and rave against the mandatory covering of women in Iran all you
like, but to point out the Hindu tradition of burning widows is
close-minded. We have allowed ourselves to accept a bias, and now
that we've been confronted with it, instead of looking within to fix
it, we defend it like the nutty Americans that we are. I was born and
raised in the United States, but because my foreign ancestry is
evident on my face, I have been on the receiving end of racism all my
life. Most people can't tell where I'm from exactly by looking at me,
but by my name and dark hair and eyes they know I must belong to some
backward, oppressive, terroristic country. I've been spit on, had
rocks thrown at me and been beaten up, all within my schooling years,
because of my nationality. I've been called racist names by African
Americans, Greek Americans (the boy who spit on me said, 'I'm Greek,
we hate Muslims'), Caucasian Americans, Assyrians, Russian Americans,
Jewish Americans, Asian Americans, you name it. I am not going to be
an idiot and paint all Americans with the same brush, because simply
put, that would make me equally wrong. There are good Americans who
do not allow themselves to fall into the trap of bigotry. But sadly,
many are racist and continue to defend it. We claim 'We're angry and
have a right to feel this way,' but as my lovely Irish Grandma tells
me, 'You can't hate just because you're mad'.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Hayat, Chicago, IL, United States, 19, Male, Muslim, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Student, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
732002102704
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Question:
When a woman makes a
comment about a guy's butt, what is she attracted to? When men check
out a woman's chest and butt, usually we are associating them with
specific sexual acts (fondling or holding). Is this the same for
women and the male butt, i.e. holding it during a sexual act? My only
guess is that a 'tight, firm' butt is associated with the thrusting
during intercourse and is thus more desirable. The few women I've
asked about this, though, said they weren't sure what it was that was
attractive about it.
POSTED
1/7/2003
Peter, Lehigh
Valley, PA, United States, 33, Male, Deist, Hispanic/Latino (may be
any race), Telecommunications, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg
ID 16200352034
Responses:
You got me on this one, as I've never understood it, either. My
thinking is that it's a way in which women can 'get back' at men for
their remarks about our body parts. Seems like only men would really
appreciate the 'cute butt' thing on another man, if you know what I
mean. I do tend to look at the front side myself.
POSTED 1/12/2003
Cindy, Jaspe, AL, Venezuela, 42, Female, Christian, White/Caucasian,
Straight, accountant, 2 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
1112003125544
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