Best of the Week
of Feb. 6, 2000
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Feb. 6, 2000, as selected
by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week"
entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s new
database using the search form, or, in the
case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
Order the hilarious and heartwarming
book on Y?
"Why Do
White People
Smell Like Wet Dogs
When They Come
Out Of The Rain?"
ISBN: 0-9675971-0-2
Question:
I am a 32-year-old female with two children. I always see people
rushing here and there trying to get everything done that they have
to do, but you rarely see people taking the time to stop and take
time for their families or even just stop to relax. I have this
problem. I am very busy and always feel too tired to do things with
my children. By the time the weekend gets here, I don't want to do
anything but sleep. If anyone can explain why people do this I would
appreciate it.
POSTED 2/10/2000
S. Burns, Porterville, CA, United States,
<sburns_67@yahoo.com>, 32, Female, White/Caucasian, Straight,
waitress/student, 2 Years of College , Middle class,Mesg ID
126200012912
Responses:
Unfortunately, it's the time we're in. Get everything done as
quickly as possible, get where you can as fast as you can. The result
is that the fast-paced work life we are used to has over the years
slowly creeped into our home lives - and slowly made home life more
like work.
POSTED 2/11/2000
Floyd, Sterling Heights, MI, United States, 24, Male, Straight, Sys
Admin, Middle class, Mesg ID 211200014440
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Question:
A security guard where I work told me that he and other security
guards, who are above average height, have a trick of pulling the
front of their uniform hats down so that they shadows their eyes.
That way when they look at the clients and customers, they literally
have to look down on them, thus making the guards look more
intimidating. Do any other security guards throughout the world do
this?
POSTED 2/10/2000
Robert S., Poole, NA, United Kingdom, <rms6859@yahoo.com>, 23,
Male, Christian, White/Caucasian, Straight,Mesg ID 27200095751
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Question:
Why do people say that Asian people are smarter than other races of
people?
POSTED 2/10/2000
Carlos O., Porterville, CA, United States, 20, Male, Catholic,
Hispanic/Latino, Straight, 2 Years of College, Mesg ID
282000103421
Responses:
Many people assume that Asians are smarter because they are often
involved in science and math, study a lot and get good grades. I do
not think any of these qualities makes a person smart. Americans seem
to be acculturated to believe that people who do well in math and
school are 'brainy' and 'nerdy,' which is unlike any other
misconception I have ever encountered, having been born in Taiwan,
raised in Papua New Guinea, relocated to southern California and now
migrated to Chicago. Incidentally, I'm Asian-American, and I got a
'C' in calculus and am in the bottom half of my class in law
school!
POSTED 2/11/2000
David L., Chicago, IL, United States, 27, Male, Asian-American,
Straight, Law clerk, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class
Asians being smarter than other races is not necessary true. As an
Asian, I can tell you that the reason this perception exists is that
a relatively high proportion of Asians have succeeded in academic
areas and professional careers. The reason for that is not
necessarily the intelligence but the attitude of Asians. Because of
their cultural roots, Asian families emphazie the importance of
education regardless of the economic status of the family. They are
more willing to sacrifice for the education of their children than
others, and their children also respond to their parents' effort.
Asians have a strong will to succeed and are willing to work hard. If
two persons have the same intelligence, but one of them puts in more
hours, that person should gain more and should be more likely to
succeed.
POSTED 2/11/2000
J.C., Boston, MA, United States, 29, Male, Asian, Straight, Over 4
Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 211200065659
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Question:
If man is supposed to be a "higher" animal, why do homosexuals engage
in an activity, such as homosexual intercourse, that even animals do
not practice?
POSTED 2/3/00
Caryn, Denton, TX, United States, 38, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Paralegal, Over 4 Years of College, Middle
class, Mesg ID 21200045453
Responses:
Homosexual activity is widely spread and well documented across
the animal kingdoms. In Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality
and Natural Diversity (published in 1999), scientist Bruce Bagemihl
demonstrates that some animals - just like some humans - find
homosexuality as their natural way of being. Throughout the book's
512 pages, Bagemihl piles up the evidence and addresses the question,
"Why haven't scientists reported this behavior?" No surprise here:
Scientists were afraid to share their discoveries because they knew
that the evidence clashed with others' religious beliefs. And they
knew that the offended would ruin the career of any scientist so rash
as to tell an unwelcome truth. Or the scientists were so determined
to find what they wanted that they ignored their own data. Thus
Bagemihl places his own career on the line to document homosexual
behavior across the animal kingdoms - from whiptail lizards to
bottlenose dolphins, flamingoes, vampire bats and giraffes, bears and
our fellow primates. This behavior is freely chosen, not the result -
as some would hope - of force or the lack of available partners of
the other sex. So, it's not just Heather who has two mommies but some
grizzly bear cubs, too. Let's not limit God and her creation.
Homosexuality is an integral part of life.
POSTED 2/5/2000
Thom, Washington, DC, United States, 57, Male, White/Caucasian, Over
4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID 24200030632
Maybe it is only your Christian perception that homosexuality is a
lower behavior form. Maybe it is higher than you can understand.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Matthew, New York, NY, United States, 42, Male, White/Caucasian, Gay,
Middle class, Mesg ID 272000114910
It goes without saying that our intelligence as a human race
surpasses that of animals, but it does not place us above
imperfection. To put it bluntly, gay men and women do not suppress
their human species intellect simply because their hormones drive
them toward same-sex relationships.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Jerrod P., Clarksville, KY, United States, <buddap@yahoo.com>,
21, Male, Baptist, Black/African American, government, High School
Diploma , Middle class, Mesg ID 292000122901
I've seen lots of articles out in cyberspace and print that refute
your thesis. The higher primates have been observed to exhibit
same-sex behavior, as have other species. Placing human kind as a
'higher' animal doesn't stop us from depleting resources, polluting
the environment and engaging in genocide - all activities that even
animals do not practice. Stretch your vision a bit to include
searching out information on topics instead of accepting old canards
and cliches about groups of people that are marginalized.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Mark B., Dallas, TX, United States, <Civic-Si@swbell.net>, 39,
Male, UFMCC - Cathedral of Hope, White/Caucasian, Gay, Financial
analyst, 2 Years of College , Lower middle class, Mesg ID
252000112149
Humans being 'higher' animals is certainly debatable, but
homosexual behavior in other animals isn't. In the wild, chimpanzees
have been observed to engage in male-to-male and female-to-female
sexual behavior, including intercourse. In fact, virtually all human
sexual activity, such as masturbation, adultery, rape, pedophilia,
etc., has been witnessed in primate cultures. They likely would do
porno as well if they had cameras! And our primate cousins are by no
means the only animals so inclined. There have been, recently,
numerous documented reports of homosexual behavior in numbers of wild
mammal and bird communities. I stress 'in the wild' here because such
behavior seen in zoos and in domestic animals for years has always
been dismissed as an artifact of captivity. We had a male cocker
spaniel when I was a teenager who definitely, obviously, preferred
other boy dogs; which greatly limited my parents' desire to ever take
him on walks around the neighborhood.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Steve, Houston, TX, United States, 42, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Upper middle class,
Mesg ID 24200093232
There are any number of species that engage in homosexual
behavior. Not to mention any number of humans who do not think that
homosexual behavior is a sign of 'lower' morals or intellect or
evolutionary development, or whatever you meant when you used the
word 'higher.'
POSTED 2/10/2000
Susan, New York, NY, United States, 37, Female, Straight, Over 4
Years of College , Upper middle class, Mesg ID 230062509
Homosexual activity does exist in the animal kingdom. Scientists
have documented this among cows, rams, dolphins and even primates.
Perhaps this is the more relevant question - if man is supposed to be
a 'higher' animal, why does he discriminate and hate so fiercely -
forcing people to lose their jobs, apartments, security and even
their lives based on who they love? That is the real puzzler.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Anna, Seattle, WA, United States, 31, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Lesbian, Technology, Over 4 Years of College ,
Middle class, Mesg ID 25200041250
I read an article in an animal magazine that states there are some
animals who choose the same sex animal as partners. I wish I had the
article on me to let you know exactly what it said, but basically it
stated the animal exhibited 'nesting' type behavior with its own
gender. You can find some support of this information at
http://www.salon.com/it/feature/1999/03/cov_15featurea.html and
http://www.gaywow.com/gayanimals.htm. If you consider that animals
are a 'lower' form, then they have basic instincts, such as to
procreate to keep their species alive. Since we are a 'higher' form ,
then we already know that our species is alive and well, overcrowding
and ruining the earth and animal's habitats. Do you think 'homosexual
intercourse' is the only activity that homosexuals engage in? They
are the same as any other human being. They have intimate
relationships that are satisfying on all levels - not just sex. I
hope the links provide you with some answers to your question.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Lisa, Dallas, TX, United States, 31, Female, Asian, Straight,
Marketing/Communication, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
230091050
Let's put aside the fact that homosexual behavior has been
observed in animal species on many occasions. I think you have
answered your own question. The reason many human beings are
homosexual is that we are 'higher' animals, just as human beings have
so many other unique psychological and social capacities. Homosexual
activity in human beings is more than just animalistic 'rutting.' Who
I choose to enter into a relationship with and/or be intimate with
involves much more than the fact that he is male. It also involves
aesthetic appeal, interpersonal 'chemisty' and our ability to
communicate in mutually fulfilling terms. And consider how much
richer the world is for the presence of lesbians and gay men. As
social commentator Fran Lebowitz once remarked, 'If you removed all
the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally
regarded as American culture, you would be pretty much left with
Let's Make a Deal.'
POSTED 2/10/2000
Chuck A., Spring Hill, WV, United States, <PolishBear@aol.com>,
40, Male, Catholic, White/Caucasian, Gay, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
2300114118
Your question is based on a false premise. Some animals do engage
in homosexual activity. You might want to read Biological Exuberance:
Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity by Bruce Bagemihl for an
extensive overview of the subject. I think the existence of
homosexuality in nature is, for the most part, irrelevant to
contemporary debates over civic equality and social acceptance for
lesbians and gays. Homosexuality occurs in nature, and even if it
didn't, we human beings do plenty of 'unnatural' things to which no
one objects, which we even consider laudable. Animals don't write
symphonies, build hospitals, fly airplanes or wear clothes. Does that
make these things wrong? It's equally silly to claim that because
homosexuality occurs in nature that we ought to accept it. Murder,
rape and cannibalism also occur in nature. We don't accept them.
Ultimately, gay equality will be won by appealing to basic moral and
political principles of justice, tolerance and equality, not the
false standard of 'what is (un)natural is/is not right.'
POSTED 2/10/2000
Rob, Los Angeles, CA, United States, 32, Male, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Gay, Filmmaker, Over 4 Years of College , Upper
middle class, Mesg ID 230092137
Animals do engage in what you might term homosexual intercourse.
Get a bunch of male dogs in one place, just out of reach of a female
dog in heat. Watch that for an hour, then we can talk.
POSTED 2/10/2000
John K., Cranford, NJ, United States, <jkeegan3@home.com>, 26,
Male, Chemical Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg
ID 230091514
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Question:
How will white Catholics feel if their next pope is black?
POSTED 2/3/00
E.D., Kansas City, MO, United States, 43, Female, Mesg ID
22200061008
Responses:
The color of our next pope (I am a white Catholic) matters far
less than his ability to lead the Catholic church and his position on
controversies within the church. If the next pope is black, I presume
he would be an African, rather than say African American. Based on my
experience with visiting priests from Africa, they are on fire with
their faith, and thus an African pope would be terrific, in my
opinion.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Anne, Ann Arbor, MI, United States, Female, Mesg ID 29200060235
They will probably feel a little surprised at first, but it will
make very little difference to most Catholics. Are there some
Catholics who are bigots and racists who will be extremely upset?
Sure, but for most Catholics it won't matter much at all.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Zeke, Josephine, AL, United States, 56, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Engineer, Over 4 Years of College , Middle
class, Mesg ID 262000103836
This is an interesting question, because it is not just idle
speculation: There is a strong chance it will happen soon. John Paul
II is in poor health and may not live much longer. Now, in the past,
most of the cardinals were Italian, which meant that only Italians
were elected Pope. But over the past 30 years, Popes Paul VI and John
Paul II have appointed numerous cardinals from the Third World.
Indeed, there are several prominent African cardinals who will be
strong candidates for the papacy when the next election comes about.
(By the way, there is also a prominent contender- Cardinal Lustiger-
who was born Jewish!) A black African pope would not bother me in the
least. It might shake up some of the blue-collar white Catholics I
grew up with, but they'll just have to get over it.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Astorian, Austin, TX, United States, 38, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
26200093825
I don't know about other Catholics, but I and those in my
community have no opposition to a black pope. Some I don't know may
oppose, and many will not.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Paul S., Burnsville, MN, United States, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Mesg ID 25200013028
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Question:
Is it normal for a 21-year-old woman to not have had her "first kiss"
yet or gone out with a guy? I am such a person. Guys seem to avoid
me. I don't consider myself ugly. In fact, I've been told that I'm
"pretty." Are there certain types of girls/women that guys stay away
from? I'm quite petite, 5-2 and no more than 105 pounds. Do guys
consider really petite girls a problem because they're worried we're
too delicate for them to handle?
POSTED 2/3/00
Katherine, Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, 21, Female, Asian, Straight,
Student, 2 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID
21200094343
Responses:
Probably your looks are not what has discouraged men from asking
you out, or giving you a kiss. Maybe you misinterpret the signals
they give you, or maybe you don't realize it when they are interested
in you. Even if this hasn't happened yet, it likely will soon. Sounds
to me like you're OK. Just keep living your life in ways that make
you feel good about yourself.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Bill B., Jacksonville, FL, United States, Male, Mesg ID
26200064508
It could be that guys are intimidated. Do you know that feeling
you get when you see a hottie of a guy and you start thinking, 'No
way would he talk to me' or 'He's GOTTA have a girlfriend already'?
Well, we guys think that way, too. Most guys consider themselves to
be out of a pretty girl's 'league,' and we usually start making
assumptions (thinking she's already taken, et al). Have patience,
hun: My first kiss was a month before I turned 22!
POSTED 2/10/2000
Pike, Slidell, LA, United States, 25, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, college student, Over 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
24200063300
Your 'problem' may relate to your heritage. I know many men who
think Asian women are beautiful, and I'm one of them. I've never
dated an Asian, though. The reason is that when I see an Asian woman
I think is interesting, I always think she wouldn't go out with
because I'm white.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Mark A., Detroit, MI, United States,
<gurumark@worldnet.att.net>, 32, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Paramedic, Technical School , Middle class, Mesg ID
2300115324
My wife is 5'2" (more or less) and around 105 pounds. I have never
considered her petiteness a problem. I have noticed, though, that
large differentials in size (height and weight) among couples are
less common than they were, say, a generation ago, and sometimes I
feel a bit 'freakish' in public (I'm 6'0', around 250, proportionate)
with my wife for this reason. You may have a Michael J. Fox in your
future as opposed to a Michael Jordan.
POSTED 2/10/2000
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 39, Male, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Over 4 Years of College , Middle class, Mesg ID
230082214
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