Best of the Week
of May 11, 2003
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of May 11, 2003, as selected
by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from
previous weeks, also can be found by accessing Y?'s database using
the search form , or, in the case of posted
before April 24, 1999, in the Original
Archives (all questions from the Original Archives have
been entered into the database as well). In the Original Archives, as
well as in the database, you will find questions that have received
answers, as well as questions still awaiting responses. You are
encouraged to answer any questions relevant to your demographic
background, as well as to ask any provocative question you desire.
Answers posted are not necessarily meant to represent the views of an
entire demographic group, but can provide a window into the insights
of an individual from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop
at Y?'s guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
The book on Y? is
here!
"Why Do White People Smell
Like Wet Dogs
When They Come Out Of The Rain?"
Order it here!
Read the Associated Press story
on "Wet Dogs"
Question:
Why is it that men seem to hate asking for directions even if
it is very clear they are lost?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Krista H., Lapeer, MI, United States, 28, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, student, Over 4 Years of College, Lower
middle class, Mesg ID 510200330409
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Question:
What are some common stereotypes about women?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Jennifer, New York, NY, United States, Female, Mesg ID
511200372219
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Question:
I'm amazed at how hypocritical white culture can be when it
comes to animal rights and human rights, especially for minorities.
Why will whites go through extraordinary lengths to ensure a
domesticated animal is not abused, but don't even bat an eye at the
thought of innocent Iraqi children getting bombed in the war? Of
course not all are pro-war, but many still seem to have apathetic
attitudes toward the plight of violence against other races,
especially committed by the police against African Americans. It
seems so easy for a large portion of white Americans to assume that
the often barbaric beatings, killings and torture by the police are
done in self-defense.
POSTED 5/4/2003
Kristina, Washington, DC, United States, 22, Female, Christian,
Black/African American, Straight, Transcriber, 2 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 427200343445
Responses:
Dogs are man's best friend. Black people aren't. That sounds meaner
than I intend, but the simple fact is, some minorities in the United
States are not the most endearing people to be around. Blacks are the
most racist group in America right now. Would you keep offering olive
branches to someone who attacks you every time you do, calls you
'cracka' and generally tries to intimidate you?
POSTED 5/12/2003
genome, New York, NY, United States, Mesg ID 56200312237
I am not sure if you really asked a question but I will try to
answer. Let's start with animal cruelty. Animals do not have the
ability to do anything about what is affecting them. Animals, just
like children, cannot stand up for themselves, and many people, not
just whites, will stand up for them. In the case Iraq, nobody wants
to bomb children, but the alternative is far worse. Please do not
tell me you would rather have the children of Iraq grow up under the
regime of a murderous, torturing, rapist dictator. That is far
crueler than sitting back and doing nothing. As for police beating
African Americans, or any other race, there is a rule that one can
follow that will ensure there will be no more beatings. The rule is
do not break the law! And if an individual does choose to break the
law, then the second rule is do not fight the police! If all people
adhere to these two simple rules, police beatings will rapidly
decline.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Joey, Troy, MI, United States, 34, Male, White/Caucasian, Straight,
Over 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID 56200321735
I think there are several reasons for whites turning a blind eye to
the plight of minorities:
1). People want to believe there is justice in the world (and
especially in the United States), so they don't want to admit that
brutality against minorities is the fault of the people in power.
It's easier to blame the victim.
2). In public schools, we are taught there is equal opportunity. Our
history books lie to us and teach us that everyone has the same
chances, regardless of race or sex, and students, because this is
what they are taught, believe this. That's why, when they hear about
police brutality against African Americans, for example, so many
white people say things like, 'Oh yeah, playing the race card, when
really he's just a lawbreaker.'
3). White people don't receive as many glimpses into the corruption
and brutality of the power structure as minorities do, so they tend
to regard stories about it with disbelief. By the same token,
minorities, because they mistrust the system, may be less respectful
and cooperative with the police, who are used to fawning, friendly
and cooperative behavior from whites. When the police see that
minorities distrust and disrespect them, it makes them even more
brutal. As for the other part of your question, concerning why some
whites go to extraordinary lengths to ensure a domesticated animal is
not abused: My opinion is that it's because a dog or cat is more
human to isolated white people than those 'scary minorities.' Also,
perhaps it's because they think minorities have acheived equal
opportunity and are not discriminated against anymore.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Amber, Somewhere, AK, United States, 30, Female, White/Caucasian,
High School Diploma, Lower class, Mesg ID 56200361214
Most people who preach the same kind of animal rights you seem to be
speaking about are generally leftist-oriented in their political
outlook and would probably be among the first to be vocal at an
anti-war or anti-cop protest. There are a lot more of them at
protests for slain black victims than the number of blacks at
protests for slain white victims. I assume you must know some people
who do feel this way, however, and I think I know why they would
react this way. Frankly, getting worked up about Iraqi or inner-city
black victims goes against their social 'interests.' Iraq's former
leader is a U.S. enemy, and blacks regularly rob, rape and kill
whites at a rate that far exceeds the white-on-black street crime
rate. A tough line against these populations is beneficial to white
Americans for their own safety.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Seamus, Charlestown, MA, United States, 23, Male, Construction, High
School Diploma, Lower class, Mesg ID 56200363537
I'm the perfect person to answer your question, because I am one of
the hypocrites you refer to, although I am not necessarily the
extreme 'pro-war' type. The main reason I am more concerned with the
welfare of domesticated animals in this country than with children in
other countries is that human beings of any age have more control
over their own destiny than any domesticated animal. Second, there
are many more people who care about the plight of children than the
plight of animals - I feel like the animals need my support more. And
finally, as a historian, I must concede that war, for whatever
reason, does not discriminate according to age. It's the unfortunate
reality.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Jessica, Huntsville, TX, United States, 23, Female, Agnostic,
White/Caucasian, Bisexual, Graduate Student, Over 4 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 562003110818
While I disagree that animal rights people don't care about
minorities' struggles or the peace struggle (at least where I live),
I think it is simply ignorance and indoctrination. People are brought
up with images of Latinos, Arabs and blacks, etc. as being thugs, not
the norm or ignorant. We are also brought up to think that the
government, despite its racist past, can do no wrong, and that our
boys in blue are shining examples of America and will keep everything
normal for normal Americans - that they couldn't possibly do wrong.
People don't want to face up to the fact that the police might be
more aggressive toward those who deviate from society (i.e. blacks or
gays ). I think people can sympathize more with a cute little puppy
or bunny rather than with someone who deviates from their own
perceptions of what is considered normal.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Sierra, Austin, TX, United States, 17, Female, Hispanic/Latino (may
be any race), Bisexual, Less than High School Diploma, Mesg ID
57200341929
In the case of Iraqis, it is the same as in Kosovo or Afghanistan or
Haiti or wherever. Few Americans seem to give a damn about
foreigners. They all seem to say 'Ah well, Muslims are terrorists
anyway' or 'They're just Commies.' I know many in the
'bomb-a-foreigner' crowd will write in about how 'justified' the Iraq
war is, but even if it is, no one gives a rat's pa-toot about some
'other' who they quickly dismiss as 'collateral damage.' If Americans
can agree about the tragedy of 9/11, why can't they when bombs fall
elsewhere as well?
POSTED 5/12/2003
Tyler D., Chambersburg, PA, United States, 26, Male, White/Caucasian,
Gay, Mesg ID 57200353210
I was not for the war and am against violence toward innocent people.
What I have a hard time with is why so many black people condem the
police for being rough with car thieves, rapists, drug dealers and
other criminals. If you are breaking the law and threatening other
people, your right to being treated nicely is voided. I have often
wondered why the black community doesn't support the police more in
ridding their communities of thugs, murderers, rapists and all forms
of thieves. Instead, they rally around someone mistreated while
commiting a crime. Why is this?
POSTED 5/12/2003
Matthew, New York City, NY, United States, 44, Male, White/Caucasian,
Gay, Mesg ID 57200394155
Your premises (that whites don't care about Iraqi children or police
torturing civilians) bespeak anger and prejudice on your part. None
of the issues you raise are as simple as you make them out to be.
Your distinction between the feelings of whites vs. those of African
Americans is far from obvious (do you have evidence that most blacks
are against the war?). Generally speaking, Americans feel compassion
for helpless animals who are abused for no reason, but feel less
compassion for criminals who don't obey the law or the police.
Americans are outraged by police who act like criminals, but
forgiving toward police who may cross a blurry line while enforcing
the law. Pro-war Americans have no animosity toward children, black,
white or Iraqi, but believe war sometimes to be necessary (for
example, while some Iraqi children undoubtedly died from American
bombs, millions of Iraqis, all of whom were at one time children,
died under Saddam's regime). Finally, though it seems to you that
many whites are too willing to believe police act in self-defense, it
seems to me that many blacks are too willing to forgive black
criminals.
POSTED 5/12/2003
James D., Summit, NJ, United States,
<james_witted@hotmail.com>, 46, Male, Atheist, White/Caucasian,
Gay, 4 Years of College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 582003105947
Kristina, have you not noticed that two of Bush's Cabinet members
backing this administration's folly in Iraq are African American? I
have attended many anti-war (and anti-LAPD incidentally) rallies in
my town. Unless the cause is specifically African American, I rarely
see very many people of color in attendance. Perhaps the question
should be, 'Why don't African Americans seem to feel compassion for
any race other than their own?' Virtually every protester at my last
rally was white, Asian or Arab. Don't African Americans care about
Iraqi children?
POSTED 5/12/2003
Emma, Los Angeles, CA, United States, Female, Mesg ID 58200342629
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Question:
I am a social worker and want to know what people think of
people in the profession. I am a conservative white female. However,
because I am a social worker, people tend to think I must be a
'bleeding heart liberal' because I work with people who are less
fortunate or have mental health problems. Also, is there a stereotype
of women in this profession as being 'dowdy' as compared to women in
other professions, for example, in the business field? I am asking
because I recently retired and am seeking a career change, and I do
not know whether the employers I've sent resumes to are not
considering me because of stereotypes about me or because of my
qualifications.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Linda C., Ann Arbor, MI, United States, 55, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Social worker, Over 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 59200315120
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Question:
Why do so many Hollywood films seem to feature villains played
by British (more specifically English) actors? For example, in Robin
Hood Prince of Thieves, heroic Robin and his men are played by
American actors (even though it's set in Medieval England), while the
Sheriff of Nottingham, the evil guy, is played by a very English
actor, Alan Rickman. There are many other examples. Is it acceptable
for some reason for the English accent to represent evil, when other
accents would be unacceptable?
POSTED 5/11/2003
Kathy B., London, NA, United Kingdom, 40s, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Middle class, Mesg ID 59200342753
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Question:
Why is it that so many of my black sisters would rather walk
around with damaged relaxed hair than simply wearing their hair
natural? Most relaxed heads of hair look terrible, and the weaves and
ponytails look downright tacky. Why are some of us still so ashamed
of what is ours - and beautiful?
POSTED 5/8/2003
Rhonda P. Outlaw, Laurelton, NY, United States,
<Rhonda_Outlaw@ars.aon.com>, 41, Female,
Lutheran, Black/African American, Straight, 2 Years of College,
Middle class, Mesg ID 58200354640
Responses:
I'm not ashamed of my hair. My hair is naturally wavy, so I relax it
so I won't cry every time I comb through it. Not all of us would
rather walk around with damaged hair. I really think it depends on
the person's beautician. I will admit that some are out for the money
and couldn't care less about over-processing their client's hair. For
example, I used to go to one who would recommend that I get a relaxer
every three weeks, which is ridiculous. Of course, she told me this
because relaxers usually cost more than a shampoo. I think this is
what happens with most women, and that's why their relaxers look so
bad. Then, they are not taught how to care for their hair after they
leave the shop. The person I go to now is wonderful, and my hair is
at its healthiest - even with the relaxer. As far as the weaves and
ponytails, I agree with you - especially if the colors and grade of
hair doesn't match. You can't wear a silky-straight ponytail if your
own hair looks like taco meat.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Trina K., Chicago, IL, United States, 23, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
510200381425
American society tends to look down on more 'eccentric' hairstyles.
If I were to walk into a job interview with my hair in its natural
state (which would be an afro), and then a black woman with the same
credentials walked in with a more tamed 'perm,' the company would
most likely go for the professional look, seeing the former as
'unruly.' It's all a matter of what our black girls and women are
socialized to believe is beautiful. How many Barbies have you seen
with afros or cornrows? Our little black girls see all the little
cartoon girls on TV with straight hair that moves when they walk (I
know I did). It's not a matter of being ashamed, it's a matter of the
want and need of being accepted as beautiful.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Wendy, Lansing, MI, United States, 17, Female, Black/African
American, Student, High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID
5102003101309
For me, it's about manageability. Naturally, I have coarse, kinky
hair. There is no way I could tolerate trying to wear it any other
way than relaxed. I don't have time to mechanically straighten it. I
would like to wear it natural, but not everyone has the texture to go
natural in this fast-paced world. It hurts like hell if I try to comb
it without it being relaxed. If I had a looser curl pattern, I would
love to wear my hair natural. For me, it's not about trying to look
like anybody, it's about manageability.
POSTED 5/11/2003
VirginQueen, Ft. Payne, AL, United States, 24, Female, Black/African
American, Lower class, Mesg ID 511200391913
Sista I can see your question. However I believe that how a woman
wears her hair is about choice. Isn't that a wonderful thing, to have
the chance to wear your hair 15 different ways if you like? I don't
feel there is anything wrong with a black woman wearing a perm,
weave, pony tails, texturizers, locs or twists. Isn't that one of the
things that is special about black women. It all comes down to
choice. I know sistas who have been sporting perms for years, and
they are the most conscious women around. I know sistas who wear
natural styles and they are no credit to the race. And just in case
you're wondering, I'm a sista who has been 'natural' 10 years and
counting. Before we judge by hair, let us actually test and see
what's on the brain.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Stephanie, Chicago, IL, United States, 29, Female, Black/African
American, Straight, Technical Support Engineer, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 511200315800
You don't understand how hard it is to get a comb through extremely
coiled hair. Our hair gets even harder to comb when wet. A relaxer
helps smooth out the curl and helps us comb it out without pulling it
out. Black people have very dry and brittle hair to begin with. That
is why it stays short. When wearing a weave, we are protecting the
hair and allowing it to grow underneath.
POSTED 5/11/2003
Denisia, Fairfax, VA, United States, Female, Black/African American,
Mesg ID 511200324940
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Question:
I hear it is against the law in Canada to spank. Is it only
excessive spanking, or anything, even a swat? Do people actually get
arrested or fined for this? I only spank as a last resort and to
prevent my kids from dangerous situations like running in the road,
and I enjoy the freedom of choice. How do Canadians feel about your
country telling you how you can raise your kids?
POSTED 5/8/2003
Tanya S, Flint, MI, United States, 26, Female, White/Caucasian,
Straight, Photographer, 2 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
57200334519
Responses:
It is tragic that lawmakers have reacted to child abuse by invoking
another kind of child abuse - no spanking. Until a child reaches the
age of understanding, education applied to the seat of understanding
is effective, if the purpose is to discpline the child. I live in
Alberta. However, in Ontario, it is my understanding that parents can
be disciplined for PUBLICLY spanking a child. In all fairness, even
before the law was there, disciplining a child in public is
humiliating. It is best done privately behind closed doors. The law
is meant for the betterment of society, but sometimes lawmakers get
carried away and make a bad situation worse by passing short-sighted
laws.
POSTED 5/12/2003
John U., Edmonton, Alberta, NA, Canada, Male, Christian, Over 4 Years
of College, Mesg ID 5122003121646
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Question:
How prevalent is homosexuality in the (Asian) Indian
community?
POSTED 5/4/2003
Manny, n/a, NA, United States, Male, Mesg ID 428200394336
Responses:
It's as prevalent as it is in any other culture. Homosexuality is
part of human sexuality and can be found where humans can be found.
From what I've heard from my South Asian friends, Indian culture is
particularly hard on homosexuals. For example, the movie 'Fire,' a
love story between two Indian women, was banned in India, I believe.
But that doesn't mean there are fewer gay people in India. It might
make them less likely to come out publicly, though. I know from
friends that it can be very difficult for second-generation South
Asian-American gays and lesbians to come out to their families - but
that can be true for people with parents from other cultures, too. If
you're interested in learning more about being gay and Indian, you
might want to rent 'Fire' or see if you can find a copy of Nisha
Ganatra's 'Chutney Popcorn' - a movie about a lesbian who is South
Asian-American and her family.
POSTED 5/12/2003
Amy, Los Angeles, CA, United States, Female, White/Caucasian, Mesg ID
59200385320
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