Best of the Week
of Sept. 2, 2001
Best of Week
Archives
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges
either begun or advanced during the week of Sept. 2, 2001, as
selected by Y? These postings, as well as "Best of the
Week" entries from previous weeks, also can be found by accessing
Y?'s database using the search form, or, in
the case of answers posted before April 24, 1999, in the
Original Archives (all questions
from the Original Archives have been entered into the new database as
well). In the Original Archives and the new database, you will find
questions that have received answers, as well as questions still
awaiting responses. You are encouraged to answer any questions
relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask any
provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not necessarily
meant to represent the views of an entire demographic group, but can
provide a window into the insights of an individual from that
group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at Y?'s
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
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Question:
I am going to start work in an office next week. Most of the
women in the office are extremely overweight and wear dresses that
are very old-fashioned and are these neon colors. I'm by no means a
model, but I have a nice figure and like to look my best and feel
good about how I look. How do I dress businesslike and feel good
without feeling like I'm upstaging these other women? I don't want to
be labeled 'the skinny girl in the office,' but I don't want to hide
behind a tent dress just to fit in.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Missy, Somewhere, PA, United States, 34, Female, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, 4 Years of College, Middle class, Mesg ID
95200115047
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Question:
Is it true that Indian women practice "eating down" (reducing
their food intake) during pregnancy? What are the reasons for this,
and why do Indian women eat only after the males have finished? Can
someone help me with more information so I can understand this?
POSTED 8/27/2001
Bold, Melbourne, NA, Australia, 20, Female, Christian,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Nurse, 4 Years of College, Mesg ID
8262001111200
Responses:
I don't know about the 'eating down' practice you mentioned.
However, in some cultures, males are so dominant that there isn't
even parity regarding food consumption. Men will eat first because
they have a higher status than women. Whatever is left is consumed by
the women and children. Choice food items such as meat might even be
off limits to the woman who cooked it.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Just Me, Philadelphia, PA, United States, Black/African American,
Mesg ID 828200141116
Being an Indian woman, I've never seen other Indian women eat less
during pregnancy, unless they had morning sickness, which is not
ethnically specific. It may be that Indian food is spicy and bothers
the stomach, and Indian ladies have a more restricted diet that way.
I'm pretty sure, though, that eatung less is not a cultural thing.
For the second part of the question, in my experience, the eating
seperately is quite similar to the American situation of the men
watching the 'game' while the women sit in the kitchen adn chat.
Long, long ago, in Indian villages far, far away, the men were
considered more important, as the hunters, warriors, etc. In tribal
cultures, the more important people ate first. This isn't solely an
Indian thing. See who eats first at a traditional 'white' dinner,
too. Dad gets the big piece of chicken, right? The tradition has held
up over time, even though the belief that started it hasn't.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Jen, Detroit, MI, United States, 25, Female, Atheist,
Bi-Racial-Indian/White, Straight, Communications, 4 Years of College,
Mesg ID 94200180040
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Question:
Why is it that many Italian and Greek women where I am from
stick to their own and do not date others?
POSTED 9/5/2001
Steve, Toronto, Ontario, NA, Canada, 22, Male, Protestant,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Waiter, High School Diploma, Lower class,
Mesg ID 95200175144
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Question:
Many older people (i.e. those who reached adulthood in the
first half of the 20th century or soon thereafter) seem to have an
unexplained, free-floating bitterness, anger and in general sour
disposition. I have to wonder: How much of this is due to repressed
childhood and young-adult sexual trauma? After all, in that era,
these things were not spoken of in public, and this generation was
trained practically to worship its elders, so that a 'molester
uncle,' for instance, could get by with pretty much anything and the
child would not have been believed, anyway. Likewise, those with
homosexual attractions simply went ahead, got married and essentially
lived a lie. There seem to be so many irritable, grouchy people among
this generation, and I can't believe it's all due to old age and
illness. They seem to be acting out something they can't go back and
erase.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Augustine, Columbia, SC, United States, 40, Male,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Over 4 Years of College, Middle class,
Mesg ID 95200141608
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Question:
I have a new friend of Asian descent and have found he has very
little body hair. Not being very educated on different nationalities,
I am wondering why that is.
POSTED 8/27/2001
D.C.S., Indianapolis, IN, United States, 40, Female, Just plain
spiritual, White/Caucasian, Straight, Loss and Prevention Specialist,
High School Diploma, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 8262001123818
Responses:
Although it's more common for Asian males to have little body
hair, it DOES occur. It's just genetics - just as it is with our
black hair and shaped eyes. There are some Asian men with full beards
and chest hair, but there happen to be more without.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Romy, Clinton Township, MI, United States, Asian, Mesg ID
829200155716
I am an Asian female and don't have much hair in funny places,
either. It's in the genes, just like the eyes and skin color, and the
nose.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Syafinaz, Kuala, NA, Malaysia, 23, Female, Agnostic, Straight,
Less than High School Diploma, Middle class, Mesg ID 830200142156
Different ethnic or racial groups have differing amounts of body
hair; it's just that simple. Chinese and Japanese tend to be fairly
sparse in that regard; the Ainu, who also live in Japan but are quite
different, tend to be more hairy. I seem to recall that the Chinese
contrasted themselves with their Mongol overlords, as the Mongols had
beards.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Jerry S., New Britain, CT, United States, Male, Mesg ID
831200115321
Not being a geneticist, I can't give you a fully scientific
answer, but the simple answer is that the amount of body hair any
person has is due to genetics (heredity). What we term 'racial
groups' share a number of genetic characteristics, and body hair or
lack therof is just one of them. In other words, 'Its just one of
those things.' Also, I doubt your friend would consider this
characteristic to be a 'lack,' and he might even think you have
excess body hair. It's all a matter of what you are used to seeing.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Ramonna, Minneapolis, MN, United States, 40s, Female,
Episcopalian, Black/African American, Straight, Over 4 Years of
College, Mesg ID 94200181223
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Question:
What are people's views about when a women is at her sexiest in
life? Is a young women in her 20s sexier than a woman in her mid-30s
or early 40s? I don't mean just her physical appearance, but also her
personality and mind.
POSTED 8/27/2001
Lauren, VC, NA, Australia, Female, Mesg ID 826200133323
Responses:
One would have to know a woman for a long period of time in order
to judge when that woman was the sexiest. There are sexy women of all
ages. Some women are young and sexy ... but some women put on a few
pounds in the right places and get a good streak of gray hair and age
into their sexiness.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Amos, Chicago, IL, United States, 32, Male, Methodist,
Black/African American, Straight, Mortgage Banker, Over 4 Years of
College, Upper middle class, Mesg ID 830200195920
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Question:
Can a Catholic get a dispensation from the Church to marry a
Jew?
POSTED 8/27/2001
Don E., Potomac, MD, United States, 49, Male, Mesg ID
825200192721
Responses:
This Catholic husband has been happily married to his Jewish wife
more than 20 years. I think we learn a lot from each other. We were
married in a non-sectarian college chapel by a campus priest. We
could not find a rabbi willing to officiate. During our pre-Cana
lessons, we were segregated to the inter-faith group, but thought we
had a pretty good chance to make it. We have always been respectful
and supportive of each other's faiths. Our only common family holiday
is Thanksgiving. There are no arguments over where we last spent
Shabbos, Christmas, Passover Seder, Easter, etc.
POSTED 9/5/2001
JRT, Voorhees, NJ, United States, Mesg ID 831200123600
Yes, a Catholic can receive such a dispensation. It must come from
the bishop of that person's diocese. The Jewish partner must make a
promise that they will not interfere with the practice of your
religion, and must also promise that any children who result from
your marriage will be raised Catholic.
POSTED 9/5/2001
John, Detroit, MI, United States, Male, Mesg ID 93200151321
The simple answer is yes. A Catholic can marry a member of another
faith. There are usually a few conditions. If a Catholic wants to
marry a Jew (or Protestant, or Hindu, whatever) in a Catholic church,
the couple will have to confer with the Catholic's pastor. During an
interview, the Catholic will generally be asked if he/she intends to
do everything possible to raise any future children in the Catholic
faith. If the answer is 'yes,' there usually won't be any difficulty
in getting authorization for a valid, sacramental, Catholic wedding.
POSTED 9/5/2001
Astorian, Austin, TX, United States, 40, Male, Catholic,
White/Caucasian, Straight, Mesg ID 93200193207
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