Best of the Week
of Nov. 22, 1998
Here are the most intriguing cross-cultural exchanges either begun or
advanced during the week of Nov. 22, 1998, as selected by Y?
These postings, as well as "Best of the Week" entries from previous
weeks, also can be found in their respective
archives, which we invite you to browse.
There, you will find questions that have received answers, as well as
questions still awaiting responses. We encourage you to answer any
questions relevant to your demographic background, as well as to ask
any provocative question you desire. Answers posted are not
necessarily meant to represent the views of an entire demographic
group, but can provide a window into the insights of an individual
from that group.
First-time users should first make a quick stop at our
guidelines pages for asking and
answering questions.
THE QUESTION:
SE43: I've always been curious
about how sex feels to a blind or deaf person. Are there any
different issues they face?
POSTED AUG. 31, 1998
T. Sullivan, St. John's, Canada
ANSWER 1:
Being deaf myself and married
for 30 years to a hearing person, I need only signal my partner with
a touch and guide him to what I desire to have done. The same thing
goes for him. If you are really in touch with your lover (hearing,
deaf or blind), I think this is the same for all who are in touch
with the one they love. And yes, sometimes the person doing most of
the "action" may have to look up and see or recognize what it is
their partner needs. Don't we all? At least I think so.
When we are fortunate enough to have
an understanding person in our lives who will take the time to give
us the ultimate pleasure, and we them, it doesn't matter what, if
any, disabilities we have. This happens when you take the time to
"know" the one you love, not only by body language, but by speech or
simply touch.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Lindsay, female, deaf, San Antonio, TX
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
R537: I want to know what people
think of the current situation in which a white teacher in New York
was highly criticized for teaching with a book called Nappy Hair, written by a black author and designed to celebrate
differences. The teacher was using the book in order to take the
culture of her black students into account.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
John K., 25 <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford, NJ
ANSWER 1:
I read about this event and
also wondered what was the cause of all the ruckus. We all know that
nappy hair is viewed as a derogatory term by many people. Perhaps the
parents took umbrage at a white female using a book with this title.
Unfortunately the black experience in America teaches us that it is
best to err on the side of caution when dealing with white people. If
our collective experience in America has taught us anything, it is
that we should approach all white people and their actions with
caution. Those parents couldn't in good conscience assume that the
white teacher's actions were either well-meaning or benign.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
Wanda, Boston, MA
FURTHER NOTICE:
According to the account I
read, the book in question was written by a black female author. The
article also stated that earlier in the school year the teacher had
provided a reading list for students to give to their parents.
Finally, the article stated that the school and teacher were shouted
down by the angry parents at the meeting, which had been called to
discuss the issue and book. In short, given the "facts" as stated in
the article I read, I see an instance of black parents screaming
"racism" right away and then practicing intolerance (refusing to
listen). If the article I read was inaccurate, someone please provide
accurate details. Until some evidence of racism and intolerance by
the teacher is produced, I feel sympathy for the teacher, not the
parents.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
Phaedrus, 40, Caucasian, Boston , MA
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
GD51: I have recently heard
people at work use the term "jiggy" in various contexts. For
instance, "Today I feel a little jiggy," "That guy is really jiggy"
or such and such a movie "was jiggy," etc. Where did this term come
from and is it cool to use, or is it offensive? One guy told me it
started on Seinfeld.
Another claimed to have heard it on The Simpsons. I
am definitely out of the loop of this one.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Fjohns, Napa, CA
ANSWER 1:
Jiggy means you look nice. It
means that you have on nice, rather expensive clothing. There's
another meaning for that word also: It's a dance originated by that
clown Will Smith.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
A. Bailey, Bridgeport, CT
To
respond
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TOP
THE QUESTION:
GE57: My wife and I are having
communication problems in our marriage and have considered a trial
separation. Has anyone had any success using this technique? What are
some of the dangers involved?
POSTED JULY 21, 1998
D. Bednar, 27 <dbednar@kc.swbtcc.com>, Kansas City, MO
ANSWER 1:
I believe one of the dangers
of a trial separation is that you may lose the resolve to work on the
problems you have. You may be so relieved to be away from the daily
burden of living with someone in a relationship that isn't working
that you don't focus on expending the effort to make sure you try
everything you can think of before calling it quits. It's much easier
(in a relative way - divorce is the pits) to walk away knowing you
have tried every way you can than to have doubts later.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Been there, Knoxville, TN
To
respond
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TOP
THE QUESTION:
R376: Why are Asian male/white
female couples much rarer than Asian female/white male couples? And
why does one hardly ever see an Asian male/black female couple?
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Julie B., 25, white <bouzoun@mri.jhu.edu>, Baltimore, MD
ANSWER 1:
I think it's a matter of
exposure, personal conceptions and background. Asian males seem to
have a "stick-to-your-own" mentality, while Asian women have more of
a "go get him" mentality (this is not to speak for all Asians, just
the ones I've been in contact with). This idea is borne from my
contact with other Asian males and females, particularly with those
born and/or raised in the United States (like me). Asian women get
approached because of the stereotypical "exotic" nature of "Oriental
women" that men find so attractive (not the only reason, of course,
but it's an attention-getter). Asian men, however, aren't approached
by non-Asian women as much because of the stereotype that they are
analytical and quiet. Boisterousness (read: self-confidence) is not
usually a characteristic attributed to Asian men, unless they happen
to be around other Asians, usually of the same culture (Japanese to
Japanese, Korean to Korean, Vietnamese to Vietnamese, etc.)
I have to confess that sometimes I
find myself wondering what it would be like to date a Japanese woman.
But since I don't know any in the area, I don't even think about it.
Beyond my girlfriend (who is white) and myself, I have never seen any
other Asian male/white female couple. Ironically, my manager is a
Chinese woman who is married to a white man.
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
Japanese male dating white female, Detroit, MI
FURTHER NOTICE:
In my experience, Asian
male/white female relationships are not as rare as they appear. In
Chicago, especially at large city socials like Taste of Chicago, I
see such couples among a crowd. However, you're right that AM/WF
couples are less common than white male/Asian female couples. I think
one of the main reasons are that WM/AF couples have been "accepted"
in the media and in real life for a very long time, as far back as
when white male colonials visited China and Japan and married the
locals there. But images of Asian males in sexual relationships with
white females still bring up associations of "little Japanese
businessmen" doting upon tall, blonde "party-girls;" the fear of
white females being "taken" by non-white men is an age-old and
continuing taboo (black slaves raping white women, etc.). Other
reasons concern the myth that Asian men have small penises, which in
part, insults white women, because it questions their motives for
being with certain men and avoiding others. There are other more
sociological reasons that concern the negative labels attached to the
Asian male sexual identity in the United States and general social
roles of men and women (e.g. tall, strong, bold men with rock-hard
abs are considered desirable in America, but Asian males are accused
of lacking such qualities).
POSTED JULY 28, 1998
David L., 25, Asian-male <dlin@orion.it.luc.edu>, Chicago, IL
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
In Canada (Toronto), Asian
male/white female relationships aren't rare. They're probably as
common as white male/Asian female relationships. I think this is a
phenonmenon you find only in the United States.
POSTED AUG. 12, 1998
Mark D., 31, white male, Markham, Ontario, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Many people I have known who
are half Asian and half white have Asian dads and white moms. But
then again, people of Asian descent make up a sizable percentage of
the population in Hawaii, and inter-ethnic marriage is quite common
here.
POSTED SEPT. 9, 1998
R. Saito, 19, Japanese American, Kailua, HI
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
There are certainly many
different reasons Asian girls marry foreign or white men more than
Asian men marry foreign or white women, but from my perspective of
living in Taiwan and being married to an Asian girl, the biggest
reason seems to be the attraction of what Western culture can give
them in their lives compared to their own culture. Men have a
tremendous dominate influence in Asian cultures. Here in Taiwan, in
99 percent of the divorce cases the man gets custody of the children.
When parents die, the property traditionally is given to the men of
the family, and women once married have to pretty much obey the
mother-in-law and have a tremendous pressure to produce a male
offspring. Most Asian women have to follow the traditional role, so
marrying a Westerner is an attractive alternative. Many educated
women here enter the monastary to become nuns as an alternative to
following tradition. As for why you don't see as many black men
married to Asian women, it is partly because it is usually white
businessmen who travel, so Asian women don't have as much opportunity
to meet black men. But there are more black men married to Asian
women than you may imagine.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Dave, male, Taipei, Taiwan
To
respond
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TOP
THE QUESTION:
R267: I live in Trinidad, where
the majority of people are either from black or East Indian
backgrounds. I learned in school that India refers to a country and
not a race, such as black, white, Asian, etc. So to what race do East
Indians belong?
POSTED MAY 14, 1998
Jan T., <mauree@trinidad.net>, Trinidad
ANSWER 1:
Before I came to the United
States, I thought "Asian" referred to a person from "Asia." As far as
I know, the usage of the word "Asian" to refer to a race ( i.e.
people from East Asian countries) is peculiar to the United States
(and maybe by extension English-speaking Carribbeans). I don't really
see an overwhelming need to fit everybody in the world into neat
little racial packages. This too I find a peculiarly American trait.
(Witness the lumping of all Latin/South American peoples under the
race "Hispanic"). The only purpose that serves is to fit peoples in a
sort of unofficial hierarchy of worthiness, with whites of course
being at the top and the rest of the groups jostling for position
underneath.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
C.A., (Asian) Indian <p2k4@hotmail.com>, MI
To
respond
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TOP
THE QUESTION:
RE113: I love my family, friends
and neighbors. I live joyfully, honestly and peacefully. I am not a
Christian. Do Protestant Christians believe I am going to hell? Does
my choice of faith damn me regardless of my decency?
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
M.P.B. <CISMPB@aol.com>, Medford, NJ
ANSWER 1:
I'm sorry, but according to
the Bible, the only way you can reach heaven it believing in Jesus,
and that he died for our sins. John 3:16: "And he so loved the world
that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever beleiveth in him
shall not parish, but have everlasting life." You can either be on
Jesus' side or the devil's; there is no middle ground. As good as you
may be, it is imperative you believe in Jesus.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Ler1
FURTHER NOTICE:
It depends on whom you ask.
The standard answer is that you must have Jesus as your Savior to go
to heaven; that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and no one
comes to the Father but by him. In my experience, I have come to
understand this differently. Jesus commands us to love God, and to
love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The Bible also says that love
is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He
that does not love does not know God. I have come to understand that
the Way is following the example of Christ - to love and respect
others, to do good with no expectation of return, to live honestly,
to help those in need and to treat others with respect and
compassion. Many people echo this in near-death experiences. So, to
summarize, I believe there are those who know God better than his
followers, and aren't even aware of it. It sounds to me like you have
already found your place on heaven by creating it on earth.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Craig, Christian (raised Lutheran), 35 <cmorris@loft.org>, Minneapolis, MN
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Loving your family, friends
and neighbors and living joyfully, honestly and peacefully does not
damn anyone to Hell. Although God wants you to do those things, none
of them will get you into Heaven. People go to Heaven for one reason
and people go to Hell for one reason. Those who go to Heaven are
those who have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Those who go
to Hell are those who have rejected Christ. It's as simple as that.
This is what I mean by accepting Christ: Realizing you are a sinner
(Romans 3:23) and that because of your sin you are going to die one
day (Romans 6:23); and knowing that Christ paid your sin debt when He
died on the cross in your place (Romans 5:8). Once you know and
understand that, confess to God that you are a sinner and that you
believe that Christ died for you, ask Him to forgive your sins and
save you (Romans 10: 9-10). That is the only way to heaven. John 14:6
states, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Believe, receive and ask
God to lead you to a good church where you can learn and grow
spiritually.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Heaven-bound believer, Newport News, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
Decency isn't the criterion
of going to heaven or hell. Romans 3:23 says "For all have sinned and
fallen short of the glory of God." Every human being deserves
separation from God eternally. In other words, we all deserve to go
to hell. Romans 6:23 says that it is God's gift to us to give us
heaven. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is
eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Titus 3:5 "Not by works
of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he
saved us..." It only matters what the Bible says, not what believers
or non-believers may say. The Bible teaches that if we accept God's
gift, admitting that we don't deserve heaven, and agree that only
Christ's death will get us to heaven, that heaven is assured to
him/her who claims it. I may have won the lottery, but unless I make
my claim, I don't collect.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Ronald V., Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
As a Christian, it is not for
me to judge whether I think someone is going to Heaven or not. My
faith tells me that my route to Heaven is through acceptance of Jesus
Christ. For me, it would be the ultimate (and possibly damning)
arrogance to say "I'm such a good person that I don't need a savior
to die for my sins." For others of different religious faiths or no
religious faith at all, that may not be the case. The Lord works in
mysterious ways. Having confidence in our understanding of the word
of God as expressed in the Bible, Christians feel an obligation to
make that truth available to others, but this evamgelizing should not
be interpreted as a condemnation of other belief systems.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Mark, Protestant, 31, Alexandria, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I am a Catholic/Episcopalian,
and my answer to your question is "No." You are not necessarily
damned if your faith differs from your neighbor's. If this were so,
then only one of the 200 or so denominations of Christianity would
have to be correct and all other believers in Christ (as well as the
non-believers) would be damned. I know some Christians do believe
this way - that their particular interpretations are the only way,
but do not think they represent all of Christianity. I believe all of
us are on a journey to God and we are just taking different roads. To
sum it up in a paraphrase of something I read somewhere: The
Israelites are the "chosen" people of God, but God is God for all of
humanity and no one is excluded from him.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Stephen S., 31, Catholic/Episcopalian, San Antonio , TX
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I was raised Roman Catholic.
I don't know that my opinions are shared with other members of my
faith, but I think that no matter what type of "higher being" you
believe in, as long as you are a good person, yes, you will go to
Heaven. Why would you be forced into eternal damnation just because
you don't go to this church or that church? As long as you live your
life as a good person, you will be rewarded in the afterlife.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Jen, 28, white female, Madison Heights, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
There is no umbrella church
organization for Protestants that dictates or controls beliefs or
doctrine. There are dozens of major Protestant denominations, and
probably hundreds of minor Protestant denominations. If you polled
these churches, you would get a very wide spectrum of responses to
many questions of theology and morality. In some denominations, there
is even great variety from one region to another, or one pastor to
another.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
B. Hale, United Methodist <halehart@aol.com>, Hartford, CT
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
The basis for the Christian
religion is basically the Bible and mainly the New Testament. The New
Testament says over and over again that you do not go to heaven by
your "works." It says that you get to heaven by accepting Jesus as
your savior. Once you do this your sins are forgiven. It doesn't mean
you can then go out and do whatever you want because you are "saved,"
because if you wanted to do that then you haven't really accepted
Christ as your savior. It also says in the Bible that to God "your
best works are nothing but filthy rags" if you haven't accepted
Christ. The bottom line is that your sins have to be paid for somehow
(you're still a sinner even when you are "good") and Christ is that
way. He died for you so you could go to heaven. You only have to
accept and believe this and then try to live your life the best you
can. The Bible is very clear that if you do not believe in Christ you
will go to hell, no matter how good a person you think you are.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Rowan, 29, white, Baptist, Warren, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
You are saved by the grace of
a God, who is bigger and more merciful than any of us could ever
imagine or express with language.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Jeff, Christian <JBermel@aol.com>, San Antonio, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
Why do you feel the need to
seek approval from another religion? Just do what makes you feel
good!
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Nancy, Jewish <lanancy@aol.com>, Los Angeles, Ca
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
The Christian religion says
yes, if you do not accept Jesus as the savior and as your salvation,
your soul is in peril. Christianity, as well as most orgainzed
religions, is based on faith and choosing to believe. Non-believers
as a result are damned to Hell. This is what I have always been
taught, anyway.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
David, Presbyterian, 29 <dash@netside.com>, Columbia, SC
FURTHER NOTICE 12:
To some people, yes. But to
others, they believe that all roads eventually lead to the same
destination. And, to answer your question with another question: If I
got a bunch of people to say/believe that we turn into ants when we
die, does that mean it's going to happen?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Chris, Dallas, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 13:
No one can tell you whether
you are going to Hell or not. That is not for us (Prostestant
Christians) to judge. However, Christians firmly believe that nothing
good that we have done will get us to Heaven and nothing bad that we
have done will get us to Hell. It is a fact of whether people
personally accept Jesus Christ as Lord of their life or not.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Adrian, 30, Christian <aroyce@powerup.com.au>, Brisbane, Queensland,
Australia
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
G54: Why do Americans appear
unaware that they are the most hated people on the
planet?
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Andreina, 31, Canadian <andreinaa@usa.net>, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
ANSWER 1:
The most hated people on the
planet? Wow. All of us, or just some of us, and if just some of us,
which of us? Is it because we use a disproportionate amount of the
world's resources or because we're ignorant of other cultures, or
what? It's ironic that such a multicultural society should be the
most hated on earth. Are you talking about real Americans (and by the
way, residents of Mexico, Central America and South America also
consider themselves "Americanos") or TV Americans? Could you please
elaborate?
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Carolyn, 38 <Noahlin@aol.com>, Lawrence, KS
FURTHER NOTICE:
Andreina, a friend and I had
a conversation like this about me. She said that I and her husband
were alike in that we didn't care whether people like us or not. I
replied that I did care but would not let their opinion matter so
much that I couldn't function without their approval. If someone
liked me, that was fantastic. If they didn't, then I could live with
that knowledge. If what you say is true, and Americans are the most
disliked people on the planet and don't know it, then I applaud our
attitude. You can neither please nor cater to every point of view on
the planet. What you see as ignorance may be indifference: We may not
care what other people think of us. I see jingoism as bad, but I will
never see national pride, self-confidence and self-sufficiency as
negatives. Instead of writing a question which implicitly insults
your southern neighbors, why not tell us all the things that make
Canada wonderful? And there are many, many positives about your
country.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Diane, Durham , NC
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Believe it or not, Americans
are not the most hated people on earth. I had thought that we were
also, but no longer. This summer I went to India for a homestay in
the Himalayas. Besides meeting Indians of every religion and ethnic
background, I met many, many travellers from all over the world. Only
one group had virulently nasty things to say about Americans, and
that was the Germans I had met. All the other nationalities seemed to
have a fair and mostly accurate assessment of Americans.
Coincidentally, most of them had not so flattering things to say
about Germans. Perhaps more telling was the fact that other
nationalities were sensitive to the difference between the American
people and its government. In Asia, where my parents live, it's
either the Chinese or Japanese who are the most hated (depending on
which side of the South China Sea you're on.)
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Amy, 29, white female <amydel@netgate.net>, Milpitas, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I see two possible answers.
The first is that the United States tends to be pretty insular, and
there are many people who honestly don't know or don't care much
about the rest of the world. Second, if you are a member of a group
that annoys the heck out of many others, what can you do about it?
For myself, I carry myself with pride, try to treat others with
courtesy and generally do the best I can. If someone wants to hate me
for being American, well, that's their privilege.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Catherine <tylik@eskimo.com>, Woodinville, WA
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Perhaps because they really
aren't the most hated people in the world. Is there some worldwide
poll or basis in fact for your statement? Or are you just letting
your own distaste for Americans hang out there for all to see?
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Andrew, 34, American <ziptron@start.com.au>, Huntington, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I believe Americans who have
traveled outside the United States would have a much better
understanding of how non-Americans feel than those who stay in the
United States and only know this country's perpective on the world.
However, I don't think Americans are as hated as the questioner would
believe. It is more a case of hating "Americana" and its
omnipresence. I have traveled extensively and was surprised in many
cases by the warm reception I received from the locals.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Allison, 27, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 6:
What proof do you have that
Americans are so hated? A big part of this so-called hatred is
jelousy.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
S.B. <www.robby123@.com>, Tamarac, Fl
FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I didn't know that we were
the most-hated country or citizens in the world, and am not aware of
what would make you say that. I have friends who have been warmly
greeted by people in Europe, Australia, Asia, South America, Canada
and Mexico. I have had friends asked by Germans if they could buy the
jeans they were wearing, or British people ask with interest what
music was big here. I have met friends in college from China, El
Salvador, Venezuela and Japan, and none of them said anything about
how much they hated people from the States. Can you explain the
question?
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Craig <cmorris@loft.org>, Minneapolis, MN
FURTHER NOTICE 8:
At first glance I was
insulted by this question, first thinking to myself, Who hates
Americans besides the Middle East countries? After pondering the
matter for a few moments, I thought of the old saying, "Imitation is
the best form of flattery," and thought about how most of the world
in some form or fashion imitates or aspires to be like Americans. Be
it our freedoms, or fashion or capitalism, or form of government, I
can only assume if we are hated by "most" of the planet it would be
from envy moreso than from founded reasons. We have it all here, and
most either don't have any of what we have or only have one or two
pieces of what we enjoy. True, we are a spoiled, rich nation that
enjoys the benefits of all the "other" parts of the world, but I will
not apologize for any of that. Besides, we deserve it. We have
maintained ourselves through all sorts of world wars and conflicts
and remained the last super power, which in itself bears a huge
responsibility. You will find most Americans are tired of being the
world's police department, putting our sons and daughters in harm's
way for the well-being of another nation, which may hate us also, but
through it all we have maintained as the world's most influential and
wealthy nation in history. In the same way most people despise those
with too much money and power, other nations envy us and want what we
have, and that envy sometimes brings with it hatred. Be thankful we
are who we are, and remember your liberty rests in the hands of the
most hated people on the planet.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Cwhitt, 27, white male <cwhitt@gte.net>, Dallas, Tx
FURTHER NOTICE 9:
The main reason I believe
Americans are oblivious to the hatred toward them is that Americans
are oblivious to almost anything that isn't American. The goings-on
of the world are just another compartmentalized news fragment, like
politics and sports. The average American doesn't give a hoot about
what goes on in the next state. They are self-centered, grazing cows
with no ability to look beyond their frame of reference. I think
their measuring system and their lack of appreciation of the World
Cup illustrates the point. As an artist, I, of course, don't share
the perspective of my compatriots, and it is very likely that one day
I will leave this Land of Misguided Opportunity. Consider yourself
lucky.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
W.F., 29, dark male artist, American <wfelix@netscape.net>, Orlando, FL
FURTHER NOTICE 10:
Probably because we don't
care. We are the dominant country in the world. We help other
countries with food, money and military support when we know we will
never be reimbursed or even thanked. We do this because it's the
right thing, not because it makes us the most popular. The only
people who don't receive bad reviews are those who never do
anything.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Katy, 38, white female, Newport Beach, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 11:
First, I don't think that's
completely true. Despite inevitable differences, the United States
and its people have strong ties with peoples around the world. We are
mostly a nation of immigrants, after all. But as for negative
perception of the United States around the world, if we seem unaware,
I would say it's because we just don't care. The way I see it, pretty
much every country out there is advancing its own self-interest 95+
percent of the time, only when we do it, we are perceived as being a
bully. Half the world feels we owe them something because we're so
rich, the other half blames us for their own problems, ranging from
weather to political instability. It's just the price you pay for
being the big boy on the block. But you know the next time there's a
crisis the world will again look to the United States for leadership
in solving it.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Mark, U.S. citizen, 31, Alexandria, VA
FURTHER NOTICE 12:
As an American, I have long
been aware that we are probably the most hated nation on earth. Of
course, this does not make me feel comfortable! It makes sense,
because we are the most powerful, richest nation. I love my country,
but I understand why we are hated because we have made major
mistakes. However, I do suspect that we are also the most loved
nation on earth, too. Ironic, isn't it?
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Jan, 42, Corvallis, OR
FURTHER NOTICE 13:
Quite honestly, I have much
better things to do in life than worry about whether people hate me
for where I was born, or for what color I was born, what gender, etc.
Oh, I'll discuss the subject, and debate over it, but at the end of
the day, I cannot let it stop me from achieving my goals. So I would
say I am well aware of the hatred other citizens of the world hold
toward Americans, but that is their problem, not mine. Maybe they
should look toward fixing their own state of affairs, rather than
hate us for what we have accomplished.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
John K., 25 <the-macs@geocities.com>, Cranford, NJ
FURTHER NOTICE 14:
I am surprised this question
was posted. It assumes a lot, it sounds very venemous and it can be
construed as provoking. In response, though, I have to say that yes,
I as an American am aware that our society is hated by many other
societies. But, as far as being the most hated on the planet, I do
not think this is true. If it were, we would not have as much
immigration as we do. People want to come here to live, and as far as
I know there are no massive numbers of people dying to get into Iraq,
Iran or any other nation that "hates" America. Perhaps you should be
asking why these other societies hate Americans so much. After all, I
am not an American citizen by choice. I was born that way. Yes, I
could change my citizenship status, but the last I heard it was a bad
thing to hate someone for the way they were born.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Stephen S., 31, third-generation American, San Antonio, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 15:
Because Americans know that
America is the greatest country on the planet and they feel sorry for
people who don't also know that. In case you didn't catch the sarcasm
in that, it's there. I think many Americans seem unaware that many
don't like them because they don't know anything outside of America.
Whereas other countries, especially in Europe, get TV shows and such
from other countries, the United States only gets American shows and
news. Americans as a whole also like to be liked. They might seem
unaware because they refuse to accept that people don't like
Americans. There are many other reasons for this. From my experiences
internationally, though they are limited, I have found that it is
only a small number of people who openly dislike Americans.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Alec C., 16, American <alec_catani@hotmail.com>, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 16:
I don't believe Americans are
the most hated people on the planet. Yes, there may be many who hate
Americans, but that would be the case with any group of people who
have had such an incredible influence on world events, the arts,
fashion and so much more. If Americans are as hated as you say, then
why is it that so many millions of young people visit this country
every year? Why is it that American fashion, music and movies are so
popular and often imitated all over the world? Perhaps it's just you
and the people around you who feel this way.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
A.B. <AbieDee@aol.com>, New York, NY
FURTHER NOTICE 17:
If we are truly unaware that
we are hated, then that is the answer to your question: We didn't
know. Are we really that hated by everyone, or just really intensely
by a loud minority of countries? Being unaware myself, I'm curious as
to whether other counties hate Americans or the American government.
When I say I don't like Saddam Hussein, that doesn't mean I hate all
Iraqis.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
B., 23, white male, Kokomo, IN
FURTHER NOTICE 18:
Once a society has
established righteousness in place of fairness, it doesn't matter
what the others (world community) think. A prominent belief; "If God
is for us, who can be against us?" - is how some nations justify
their actions. As did Hitler with his versions of ethnic-cleansing.
America's ethnic-cleansing is evident in the denial of full equality
to homosexuals. Do Americans justify to the world the unnatural,
survival of the greediest as the fittest? Do its competitive markets
adhere to the golden rule? I think most wealthy Americans would have
a problem with "what is right" being "what is fair to all." The
middle paths of fairness, compromise and peace have been lost to the
impaired judgment of black-and-white thinking. Choosing either heaven
or hell (god vs devil), ignoring the gray areas in between; where we
all live in the present. A world leader should also show
concern/respect for all the world's life forms and resources instead
of the live-for-today glut, and military muscle flexing. "We the
people" comprises six major races, two genders and two or more sexual
preferences. However, the representatives/courts are predominately
white males, over 40, heterosexual, upper-class, Christian sect. Is
this an accurate reflection of America? To me it reflects the
problems of a society unwilling to participate in the game of
fairness.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Rocky, Los Angeles, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 19:
Andreina, please respond to
this and clarify your question. I am just a working-class stiff,
trying to make a living and have a decent life, and provide for those
who depend on me. I'm not clear about the motivation for your
question, but I read some anger in to it. Personally, and I don't
think I'm alone here, I don't have time to worry about whether you or
anybody else hates me 'cause I'm too busy just trying to get through
life. I suspect that's what most others you are refering to are
trying to do also. If it is you who hates all Americans, why don't
you post a statement explaining why and how you got this angry at 260
million people in only 31years? If you are speaking for the rest of
the world, then I would ask, how did you form your opinion? If all of
the "haters" in this world would direct their energy toward something
positive and constructive (even a little bit) imagine how much better
our lives could be. When I hear the statement "I hate that
so-and-so," my first reaction is, Why are you wasting your time
hating them? They don't care! Come on Andreina, give us a little more
info and let's talk about it. I'll be waiting.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Blake, 42, Midwesterner <bl2300@aol.com>, Cleveland, OH
FURTHER NOTICE 20:
My guess would be the
propaganda (I doubt you'll get an American response, it obviously
takes more than being told they are hated to believe it). Americans
are probably the most thoroughly propagandized people in the world,
and their government doesn't even need to do it. It's in their TV,
movies and news reports. The overwhelming message is "Americans are
the Good Guys." Hey, people all over the world enjoy that same
propaganda, though they usually recognize the shallow picture it
presents. Also, immigrants are people who go to a country they'd
rather live in than the one they left. Immigrants are the foreigners
Americans are most familiar with, so they get the idea that all
foreigners would rather live in America.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Darrell, 21, straight white male, Canadian
FURTHER NOTICE 21:
Wow, that one really slipped
through, huh? Where is the moderator? From my understanding, Y? Forum
is a place where all sorts of questions may be asked ,as long as they
are not asked from a position of hatred. This question is not, in my
opinion, being asked "to increase understanding."
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Iteki, 22, Irish, dyke <iteki@chickmail.com>, Stockholm, Sweden
FURTHER NOTICE 22:
Well, those who would lump
all members of an incredibly diverse nation together and hate them
all - how do you fight that? It's hard to muster much enthusiasm
about reaching out to the rest of the world when such a damning
condemnation is already hanging over our collective heads. However, I
think part of the problem comes from some patriotic arrogance that
permeates American culture. There is a lot of emphasis on being the
"best" in the world on a variety of measures. That assessment may not
always be accurate, but it is something often taught from a young
age, and it often goes unchallenged. Perhaps it stems from being a
country that fought for independence early, and that is made up of
many immigrants (even outcasts) from other countries. There is a lot
of "American pride" that may make it easy for many Americans to
ignore or dismiss the ill feelings of citizens of other nations.
Finally, I think the U.S. role in world affairs has been one-sided.
We don't know what it is like to be a bystander in geopolitical
affairs. Some may see the United States as a meddling bully, but many
people here see the United States as shouldering a big burden and
responsibility for the rest of the world. Some Americans look at our
huge defense and foreign aid budget and expect gratitude instead of
resentment. Again, that might not be fair, but I think it is how many
people see it.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Karen, 30, American, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 23:
In my opinion, people tend to
bash what they don't understand or have. I am a bit put out with the
constant hammering the United States receives. Correct me if I'm
wrong, but as a world leader, the United States makes difficult
decisions that tend to ruffle feathers, but as a leader you cannot
make everyone happy. The waters of the world are muddied, and many
times a stance needs to be taken, for example in the Iraq situation.
Next time there is a global need, pay attention to who is called on
hardest to help out. Interesting how hate changes to need in times of
crisis. Granted, the United States has plenty of social ills, but
it's still a great place to live - just like Canada.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Mike, 31, single, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 24:
First, I hope what you say is
not true. I hope Americans are not "the most hated people on the
planet." However, assuming for a moment that your contention is true,
what good would come of our approaching every encounter with
non-Americans out of an assumption that they hate us? For my part, I
would feel angry that they have decided they hate me without ever
giving me the opportunity to prove myself unhateful. Anger is never a
good basis for developing friendship. I would also feel resentful and
defensive of myself and my country. Resentment and defensiveness are
fairly natural reactions to being attacked. They are not, however,
useful in attempts to get to know and understand others. Finally, I
would tend to be as dismissive of the non-Americans as they are of
me. If someone is not interested in getting to know me and makes that
very plain, my tendency is to avoid futile attempts to change his/her
mind. Thus, my being constantly "aware" that I am one of "the most
hated people on the planet" would only be detrimental to any
relationship I might develop with a non-American. A better, more
useful, approach seems to be to assume that people differ in their
attitudes to Americans just as they differ in their attitudes to
people of any other nation. If I do my best to be respectful to the
non-Americans I encounter, I hope they will likewise do their best to
be respectful to me. If I make mistakes and am unintentionally
disrespectful, I would hope that the people I encounter would make
allowances for those mistakes and help me, politely, to correct them.
No one is perfect, and encountering a culture that differs from one's
own is more likely than not to result in misunderstandings. If we
assume that every misunderstanding is the result of disregard or
disrespect instead of simple ignorance or well-intentioned mistakes,
we prime the pump for future conflict. Even if I find myself
disagreeing with a non-American's ideas, as long as those ideas are
not physically harmful to me and mine, I assume we can agree to
disagree. Finally, I am curious as to why non-Americans are free to
take pride in their countries and cultures while in Americans the
same attitude is considered the height of rudeness.
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
J.D., American <j-lemke@ti.com>, Plano, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 25:
Wow. Most hated in the world.
Your assertion is so broad. Can you be more specific? Do all the
people of all the other countries hate all American people? Or do
their governments hate the U.S. government? Do you as a Canadian hate
me because I'm American? If so, why?
POSTED NOV. 25, 1998
Natalie, 34, 8th+ Generation American <nataliepw@aol.com>, Rochester, MI
FURTHER NOTICE 26:
America is taking over almost
every society in the world - not by force but through cultural means.
So does this mean the hatred for the United States is out of jelousy?
I would say that some of it is, but not all of it. I feel the hatred
comes from two main sources: Many people have mentioned the widescale
imitation of America throughout the world. There are a huge number of
people who love anything American (USA). I meet such people all the
time in Europe and elsewhere. I feel the hatred of America in my
society is sometimes the fault of these people, not the actual
American people themselves. They are turning our societies into an
American imitation culture. We all have the same Disney movies,
Holywood movies, terrible American TV shows, clothing, ice cream
flavors, etc. Everything is taken over by Americanized produce. Of
course, we wouldn't buy them if they weren't good, and I don't mean
that I don't enjoy a good American movie, but the problem is we are
losing our own brands and lifestyles. A lot of people who may come
across as American-hating (because they can't express themselves
properly) are just rejecting this way of life. Secondly, U.S.
Americans have a lot of pride in their country and rightly so, as
there is a lot to be proud of. However, the problem is that people
from other cultures aren't interested in how wonderful someone else
is. And because of the high imports of television and films, we have
to swallow a large amount of self-praise from Americans. Self-praise
is not widely acceptable here in Britain/Europe. In Britain, our
once-successful empire also made the English arrogant and hence
unpopular, for all the same reasons that make the Americans unpopular
today. I actually wonder if the same thing once happened to the
Romans.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
E.B., Leicester, U.K.
FURTHER NOTICE 27:
As an American who has lived
and worked in Europe and the Middle East for the last 22 years, I
disagree. My experience has been the reverse. While I have
encountered some induviduals who disliked Americans because they were
Americans, most I have worked with and encountered have been
friendly. They may disagree strongly with American politics or
policy, but that dislike does not extend to individuals.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Keith, 40, white male <keith_gordon@yahoo.com>, Heppenheim, Germany
FURTHER NOTICE 28:
To W.F., the dark male
artist, what are you trying to say here? That all Americans except
for artists are ignorant, egotistical bastards? Your statement in
itself doesn't reflect too kindly upon dark male artists if that is
who you are trying to represent. Your stereotype of all Americans is
embarrassing and brings you down to the level of the ignorant
Americans you are attempting to bash. Yes, there are Americans who
don't care about anything else other than what goes on in their lives
or their country, but not all fit this label. The self-centered
Americans you refer to in your statement derive this attitude from
close mindedness - the same thing you clearly suffer from.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
M.D., 24, dark female artist, San Jose, CA
FURTHER NOTICE 29:
I believe that to totally
dismiss this question as preposterous might be a bit naive. While
America is, in many ways, a wonderfully diverse and vibrant nation
with much good to offer, we have an incredibly heinous dark side.
While some nations, and some individuals, may see us and appreciate
our good qualities, never forget there are millions who have suffered
at the hands of those who claimed to be acting on behalf of America.
Consider this list of events in which America shares at least partial
complicity: The transatlantic slave trade, which was fueled largely
by a growing America's need for cheap labor, and which was partially
responsible for the cultural and economic destruction of much of West
Africa; America's military and political forays into Haiti, Mexico
and South and Central America (especially in the Woodrow Wilson era),
which were in part responsible for the continuing instability of
nations in these regions; and our very dubious political involvement
and subsequent military intervention in both Cuba and Vietnam in the
1960s. While many nations and individuals have ample reason to want
to emulate America, or even emigrate here, an honest look at our
often brutally inept foreign policy provides a very understandable
impetus for any ill will that may be directed toward us by our
foreign neighbors.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Sam, 30, male, brown American <SamAlex67@aol.com>, Chicago, Ill.
FURTHER NOTICE 30:
I think the Y? Forum editor
made a huge mistake in posting this question. It drips with venom,
probably more than any question could, short of questioning the
Holocaust. Some of the respondents have let themselves get trapped
into the cycle of hatred by responding with equally hateful or
jingoistic answers vainly boastful of U.S. "superiority." I always
thought the French (and French Canadians) had the dubious honor you
claim for the United States, except in Asia, where Japan has it. It's
important to remember that a government is not the same as a nation,
though many Americans make this hateful and ignorant mistake when it
comes to Middle Eastern and Asian governments and peoples. It is not
Americans, but U.S. government meddling and corporate abuses that are
resented, rightfully.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
A.C.C., San Antonio, TX
FURTHER NOTICE 31:
The original questioner
responds:
I asked the question in that way for two reasons: First, to see to
whom and what Americans would assume the question was being aimed
(government, individuals, tourists, etc.) and second, to see how many
people would answer the question that was actually asked. OK, third,
to be provocative.
The fact that most of the answers
actually responded to the question, "Why do people hate Americans?"
or at best "Do people hate Americans?" is very telling. Being as we
(Canada) are right beside you, and yet not you, we have
a distinct vantage point of being able to watch your version of the
news from time to time, and contrast it with our own. We also get a
far broader selection of foreign coverage. We have the ability to see
what is selectively removed from yours. We can also see what escapes
your borders in the line of "cultural output," and what you allow to
be presented to the world as "average Americans." We, here, do get to
meet people who (fortunately) do not seem to belong on episodes of
Jerry Springer. But then we meet these other, peculiar people abroad
carrying knapsacks with huge Canadian flags, and yet with accents not
found anywhere A Mari usque ad
Mare. Oh, and when you ask
them what province they're from, they invariably answer "Toronto."
(Hint: Toronto is a city, not a province.) So, we know that on some
level, you recognize this.
And as for the idea that it is purely
jealousy inspiring this distaste, you erroneously think the rest of
the world views you as their saviors; notice the difference between
events that inspire international cooperation in giving help, and
those events in which your government unsolicitedly "helps"maintain
the status quo of poverty and illiteracy. The day after Remembrance
Day, your government is threatening to bomb people, an irony that
seemed to be lost on all of you.
So, the question again was of what
benefit is this obliviousness, and is it deliberate, or are you
really kept in the dark?
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Andreina <andreinaa@usa.net>, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
FURTHER NOTICE 32:
I am fully aware we are the
most hated population on the planet, but I find it little more than
amusing. People hate us so much, yet they keep immigrating here.
People hate us so much, but other countries come running to us the
minute they need help (militarily or financially). People hate us so
much, yet no matter where you travel you see elements of American
culture mimicked in every society. The rest of the world loves and
needs us more than they ever want to admit. We're not oblivious to
the world attitude toward us, but as the strongest, wealthiest, most
free country in the world, we have no reason to care.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
D.M.M., 24, white, female <donikam@hotmail.com>, Charleston, SC
FURTHER NOTICE 33:
Some of the responses above
have been along the lines of "Because Americans know that America is
the greatest country on the planet and they feel sorry for people who
don't also know that" and "A lot of their hatred is jealousy." I
think not! I think they hate Americans because Americans make
incredibly self-centered, ignorant statements like these. I think it
makes perfect sense for non-Americans to hate Americans; I'm American
and I don't care for Americans all that much. If you, like most of
the world's citizens, lived in a country or culture that was being
subsumed by American politics, culture and values, you would feel
threatened and angry.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Wendy, 24 <wiebke@juno.com>, Atlanta, GA
FURTHER NOTICE 34:
I have traveled most of my
life, and I have found that Americans overseas are made fun of,
kidded, joked about and taken advantage of. In other words, they are
treated just as foreigners anywhere are treated - no worse, and maybe
a little bit better. Yes, there is resentment that accrues to
American nationality, but this is a natural function of American
wealth and power, and the resentment manifests itself in two ways:
Aspiration, whereby the aspirant seeks to become American, or
denigration, whereby the denigrator curses all that America
represents. But even these cases (Libya, Iran, Syria, Cuba, etc.)
aspire to American levels of income and personal consumption, not to
mention technical expertise and efficiency. Their attitude is not:
You go your way and we'll go ours; it is rather "Yo! How do we get
back on your Most Favored Nations list?" As much as it may
discombobulate the "America is Always Wrong" crowd, American culture,
technology and industrial products are in constant demand throughout
the world. When people want to be like us, and want to learn our
dominant technologies (e.g. Microsoft and IBM), and want to watch our
films (which, after all, reflect us) and listen to our music (and
when you speak of pop or rock or jazz or blues or country, there is
no place but the United States) it becomes hard to reconcile the
notion that we're so "hated" with these above-mentioned facts. Only a
handful of ideologically backward countries - none of which would
ever allow a forum like this one - consider America an evil,
imperialist entity. Well, to hell with them.
POSTED NOV. 28, 1998
Gregg S., American, Jewish, 43 <gregg1@alumni.ksgt.harvard.edu>, Boston, MA
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
R342: Of all the different
European ethnic groups, why do the Irish tend to marry so late in
life? I have never seen a married Irish couple in their twenties.
Even JFK and his son married late.
POSTED JUNE 16, 1998
David Y., European-American <LttlGTO@aol.com>, Oakland, CA
ANSWER 1:
I am 20 and my husband is 23.
We both have a great deal of Irish in us. Also, my cousin, who is in
his twenties, just returned from Ireland with his fiance, who is also
in her twenties.
POSTED JULY 27, 1998
C. Blackwell <gypsy@kreative.net>, Alexandria, VA
FURTHER NOTICE:
This phenomenon goes back to
one of the most dramatic shifts in family patterns in history. Prior
to the time of the Potato Famine, the Irish peasantry had a pattern
of marrying young and having very large families. In the (relative)
peace enforced by the British in the 18th and early 19th centuries,
the population of Ireland doubled and redoubled. The potato produces
more calories per acre than any other food, which allowed a large
population to develop, although it became more and more dependent on
the annual potato crop. When the crops failed in the mid-1840s, there
was great suffering and loss of life. Apparently, the immense
suffering of this period caused the Irish peasants to change their
marriage patterns. Most women would not marry a man until he had a
farm or some other independent source of livelihood. In many cases,
this was not until the son inherited the family farm in his 40s, and
he would then often marry a woman in her 30s. The net effect was a
much slower rate of population increase than prior to the Famine.
These cultural patterns often continue long after the need for them
has vanished.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
T. Douglas, 52, white male, Jacksonville, FL
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
A19: Do people become more
resistant to learning how to operate things like VCRs and stereos as
they get older? I'm looking for a scientific answer, if possible.
POSTED JUNE 26, 1998
John, 42, Chicago, IL
ANSWER 1:
Older people continue with
their disdain or attraction to technology rather than transform at a
set age. I feel like a pioneer in a most exciting technological time.
My husband is the same. Those our age we know who eschew computers,
VCRs, etc. had similar feelings toward electric typewriters, tape
recorders, CDs, etc. My generation did not grow up with rampant
technology, so only those naturally curious about such things expend
the effort to master them (many times on their own). Don't be too
hard on them. Imagine, if you will, having all those objects that
you tackled in stages as you grew up thrust suddenly into
your life instead.
POSTED NOV. 27, 1998
Beth, 60, white female, Orlando, FL
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
O37: To people who have been
hospitalized: How did the nursing staff meet your psychosocial,
cultural and spiritual needs?
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Julie K. <Eiluj11659@aol.com>, Sandusky, OH
To
respond
BACK TO
TOP
THE QUESTION:
SO98: To straight people: If one
of your favorite movie stars came out as gay, would that affect you,
and if so, how?
POSTED NOV. 21, 1998
Lance B., male, San Mateo , CA
ANSWER 1:
I'm straight, and it would
not affect my opinion of an actor if I found out he or she was gay.
I've never felt threatened by gay people. They have and will always
exist. Gay people deserve love and respect as all people do.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Jan, 42, Corvallis, OR
FURTHER NOTICE:
I had a terrific crush on an
actor once before I found out he was gay (and not just gay but an
extremely vocal gay activist.) It ruined a few of my private
fantasies, but I still enjoy his acting, and find him extremely
attractive. I think there's a certain stereotype of actors, so that
people aren't terribly surprised or shocked when a male actor is
revealed to be gay, or a female actor to be promiscuous.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Colette <inkwolf@earthlink.net>, Seymour, WI
FURTHER NOTICE 2:
No, not at all, it doesn't
affect their talents. A great actor is a great actor, and I don't
care what he or she does in private. It makes no difference to
me.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Sue, 43, married with kids <Shustring4@aol.com>, Fox Island, WA
FURTHER NOTICE 3:
When I first read this
question my immediate answer was of course it would not affect me.
But after thinking about it for a little while I came to realize it
would have an impact on me. It would not make me like the
actor/actress any less. However, if I identified with the
actor/actress in some way, it might bother me. I consciously know
this is just my homophobia at work, but it still would bother me.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Nicole, 22 <nicole_1976@hotmail.com>, N.J.
FURTHER NOTICE 4:
If my favorite actor, singer
or model announced he/she was homosexual, they would deserve even
more credit for their performances, because they would have convinced
me that their character was "really in love" with the leading
lady/man. Elton John's music is still romantic, and Rock Hudson is
still sexy. These people had a talent for entertaining us with moods
they created, and that is why we love to watch and listen to them.
Ask yourself: Why would it be different if a straight man
convincingly played a gay character than if a gay man convincingly
played a straight character? (Tom Selleck asked the same question
after starring in Coming
Out.) Remember that it is the
acting that has made me a fan, not his sexual preferences.
POSTED NOV. 23, 1998
Karin, 28 <karin1212@hotmail.com>, San Diego, CA
To
respond
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TOP
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