DARE TO ASK: Japanese sure do love bathroom

By PHILLIP MILANO, The Times-Union

Question

I hosted some female Japanese exchange students. I was told I would need to give them a time limit when they go to the bathroom, because they would spend hours in there if they were allowed. I found it to be true. Why do they want to spend hours in the bathroom? What could they be doing?

Dando, Orange, Calif.

Replies

They spend a lot of time in the bathroom because in their culture, bath time is very important, almost religious.

Alex, Atlanta

I spent four years in Japan during the '70s teaching conversational English to young men and women. On several occasions we invited my students to our home to see how we lived and introduce them to our foods (this was way before they discovered American fast foods). The two things the women that visited us found the most interesting were our kitchen with all the "handy" cooking utensils, and our bathroom, where my wife kept all her makeup and other items unique to the American woman. It was like exploring a new world for them. It wouldn't surprise me if it were still the same. The cooking area and bathroom in Japan were quite simple compared to ours.

Frank, 60, California

Expert says

Holy shiitake, they've taken over the car market, now they're taking over our bathrooms!

But really, just as with some American teens, some young girls from Japan really can "fall in" if they're left to their own devices in an American bathroom, says Thomas Snitch, a long-time business and government consultant who specializes in U.S.-Asian affairs.

"We just had two exchange girls here from Japan. It was unbelievable, the shower would run for an hour," he said. "Part of it is that when you're living in, say, Tokyo, in tiny apartments, as young girls they have limited private time in front of the mirror or in the shower. So they think it's a luxury to have your own washroom and be able to close the door and run hot water as long as you want. . . . I was tempted to say, 'What the hell is going on in there?' "

And let's talk about those Japanese bathrooms.

They are very tiny, with something akin to a small tub to soak in, Snitch said.

And bathing, well, it's just different over there.

"In Japan, there's cleaning, and then there's soaking. You clean yourself before getting into the tub. Soaking in very hot water is a very serious ritual. It is popular at Japanese spas and is very communal, like cleansing the mind and soul."

Then there are the toilets.

"Over there, they are fantastic, with heated seats and washing and drying jets," Snitch said. "The Japanese can be fascinated with gadgetry. You need a master's degree to know how to turn these things on. Some public ones even have an 'Otohime,' which mimics the sound of flushing water to mask any real noise."

These high-end porcelain babies are now making their way to the United States.

"For a Westerner who gets one and hits the wrong button, they're in for a surprise."

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip. milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.