DARE TO ASK: These wigs reflect code of modesty

By PHILLIP MILANO, The Times-Union

Question

I'm wondering why Orthodox Jewish women wear wigs.

Dwanny, 51, pagan, Fort Worth

Replies

When Orthodox Jewish women get married, they believe their real hair should be seen only by their husbands. It also has to do with modesty.

Dana, female, Minneapolis

Jewish women are instructed to "cover their beauty" so only their husbands may see. This is based on a similar passage that Muslim women interpret by wearing a head scarf.

Rosie, 16, agnostic, United Kingdom

All Orthodox Jewish women don't wear wigs, only the married ones. Or, they can wear a hat or scarf. It's because hair is considered a woman's crowning glory. So after she's married, she will only let her husband see her real hair. Strangely enough, wigs are now made so attractively that some Orthodox Jewish women wear gorgeous wigs over their own hair, which sort of defeats the purpose. But it's considered fine to do, as long as their own hair doesn't show.

Laurie, 55, Jewish, Boston

Experts say

This one's roots are found in the Torah, and in a code of modesty in Judaism known as Tzniut.

Numbers 5:11-31 discusses how to find out whether a woman suspected of adultery (a sotah) has strayed.

This partly involves a priest uncovering or even "ruffling" her hair - the presumption being that a proper married woman should thus keep her hair covered, according to Orthodox Rabbi Yaakov Menken, director of Torah.org and author of The Everything Torah Book (Adams Media 2005).

"It's about not being alluring to other men, and about maintaining the privacy of herself."

Many traditional Orthodox Jewish women wear a tichel (headscarf), snood (net-like headgear) or sheitel (wig).

And some of those sheitels, well, they're to die for. They can run into the thousands of dollars, according to Baruch Shlanger, owner of Sheitel.com, a worldwide distributor of wigs.

"Even if the wig looks nicer than her hair . . . well, there's no reason not to look beautiful after you're married. But hair is very personal, and it's required to conceal it," Shlanger said.

Menken concurs. The wig, no matter how pretty, is still fake and is easily spotted by Orthodox Jews, sending a clear signal the woman is married.

Because the wigs now look so much better, they are becoming more popular with Orthodox Jewish women, to the point the sheitel market is worth tens of millions of dollars a year in the U.S. alone.

"A woman covering her hair doesn't stick out as much today as in the past," Menken said.

All in all, it's not about repression of women, but avoiding a "buzz of distraction and sexual tension," he said.

"They are proud of what they have, but will not broadcast it. And remember, the men have to wear yarmulkes and dress in much less-varied ways than the women. We may get to choose our ties, but once we're married we don't even get to do that . . . and you can quote me on that!"

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip. milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.