Dare to Ask: Do Latinos see blacks as 'the enemy'?

By Phillip Milano

Question

I am Latina and have dated outside my race, particularly black males. ... I've never been mistreated by blacks; I received only positive vibes. From my own community, I was criticized and harassed and called names. What have been other Latinos' experiences?

Raquel, 31, Gary, Ind.

Replies

Hispanics and blacks have animosity toward each other, and the males of any race feel degraded and rejected when the females of their race are dating the supposed "enemy."

Eric, 22, Hispanic, Riverside, Calif.

Don't give me that --, that only the Hispanic culture does not accept interracial dating, dude. You are full of yourself, clean it up. America is not color blind yet.

Latino, 30, male, Virginia

I'm dating a Hispanic. As soon as we are around Hispanics, they stare and make comments, quite often in Spanish. My girlfriend will not translate for me because she knows it will probably lead to a fight.

Dirk, 23, white, Houston

It appears there's a little uneasiness in the homefront. ... There seems to be resistance to change in everyone. We can hold on until we choke the life out of something. It is sad.

Virlyn, 42, black female, Flint, Mich.

Mira muchacha ... you should have a little more consideration when talking about your own race. I don't think "positive vibes" come from just one race.

Amanda, 18, Hispanic, Bristol, Penn.

Expert says

Antes de que pienses mal - and don't go loco on us, either - it's this guy below saying this stuff, not us. He's really smart, and he's Latino.

Right or wrong, it's like this:

Latinos who are prejudiced tend to be less so against blacks than against Anglos, said psychologist Samuel Roll, co-author of "The Invisible Border: Latinos in America." But it's not always a lovefest with blacks.

"Colonialism and slavery leave a residue, and part of it is disdain for people who've been abused," Roll said.

Black people remain at the bottom of the social ladder in America, despite their achievements and despite President Obama, he said.

"We try to pretty that over, but it's hard to be black. Immigrants struggling to make it might feel their kids are associating with a lower caste, and the family doesn't want that."

Also, the extended family is huge in Latino culture.

"If someone is threatening family unity, it's like, 'How far away from us is he going to take you?' " Roll said.

But mostly it's fear, real or not, of being held back.

"It's 'You're going to hurt our grandchildren by making them the kind of people treated like -- in this country," he said. "It's painful to be black. One patient told me, 'I'm over hating being black, but sometimes I wish I could just pull off my black skin, so when I go up to a counter and am not treated first, I don't have to think it's because I'm black.' "

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip.milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.