DARE TO ASK: Maybe Susie doesn't want a stupid doll

By PHILLIP MILANO, The Times-Union

Question

I can't help noticing the difference between girls' and boys' toys. It's pathetic. All girls' toys center on mothering, dressing or cute crafts. In the boys' corner you get monsters, machines, game stations and challenging games. Any thoughts?

T., 32, female, Germany

Replies

The reason for this is that children are being socialized to accept the positions they are expected to fulfill in later life.

Deborah, 23, Miss.

If girls want to play with boys' toys, they have serious problems and should be sent to a good protocol school. Ideally, I'd like young women to wear gloves in public and actually appreciate it when men are holding doors for them, etc.

C.C., 22, Canada

C.C., I grew up on He-Man, ThunderCats and Transformers and turned out normal. You?

Sarah, 24, San Francisco

As a child, if I wanted a toy it was because it looked fun, not because it was a girl's toy or a boy's toy - and that is what we should teach girls today.

Nydia, 16, Houston

Feminist nonsense aside, there are real differences between males and females. Toy companies are not perpetrating some evil patriarchal conspiracy on little girls.

J.F., 60, male, Dayton, Ohio

All little boys should wear dresses and learn to braid their hair and the proper way to use a tampon, as little girls should be given a BB gun and taught how to shoot the neighbor's cat and the proper way to put on a condom and pee on a tree. Because there ain't no difference between them - is there?

John S., 20, Conn.

I was in love with that Barbie crap. But I also liked my cousin's Snot Factory, G.I. Joe and Creepy Crawlers. Yes, the world's youth are being subjugated to gender-based differences, but they're still going to play with what they want.

Kayt, 14, Greenwich, Conn.

Expert says

Picture C.C. and John S. on a play-date together as children. That's all we're saying about it.

Also, picture Texas A&M University researcher Gerianne Alexander watching monkeys play with toys. She does it a lot.

She and fellow researchers found that girl monkeys play more with girlie toys like dolls, and boy monkeys play more with boy-toys like balls.

"Socialization plays a role in toy selection, but there is a role for biological factors, too."

So why Johnny often likes a gun and Susie a rag doll may be partly due to hormones. Studies have speculated that for survival of the species, females may be innately programmed for nurturing, and males for motion or rough play.

"Toy companies like Mattel do a lot of market research," Alexander said. "They aren't just pushing toys . . . they actually look at who plays with what."

In fact, Mattel recently launched Polly Pocket Polly Wheels - though there are distinct differences in how these "girlie cars" are marketed.

"They are for racing to the mall," Alexander noted.

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers. Send general column comments to phillip. milano@jacksonville.com. You can also hear his podcasts or watch his TV spots.